YIKES! What the hell should I do???

[Laura2592]

So...as I have posted, we have a lovely vacation condo in an old mansion in New Orleans. The neighbors downstairs are ABB hosts. My father in law bought the unit behind ours last year (surprise!) He is retired and stays there for several months throughout the year. We rely on him to keep an eye on all the places because he is there the most often. We visit about once a month/once every other month these days.

Neighbor with the ABB shares a porch with me-- our unit is directly above and we have a street facing balcony. The entrance to the building can be used by all, but only my unit NEEDS to use that entrance-- all the others have an additional side or back door. Neighbor has an electronic lock set up on her ABB side door. So really no one needs to be on the porch if we are not there unless its an ABB guest. Last night we got dozens of videos of a very drug addicted woman who has been ringing my neighbor's Ring over and over in the past several weeks and hanging out on the porch. This has been disturbing her guests. Turns out, FIL has been using this woman for "hook ups" and invited her to stay with him for several days at a time (he ADMITTED this and said "yeah, she is a meth head, but so what?") So now she's hanging out on the porch pretty often trying to get in. FIL has not been at the condo since the beginning of Aug-- meth head lady was there as recently as yesterday evening. We don't know if she is getting inside or not.

FIL has blamed everyone but himself for this-- he is always a pill but this is a new level. Apparently its the neighbor's fault for having rocking chairs on the porch? He has put the whole building at risk. Worst of all, my husband gave him an emergency key to our place. We have cameras inside and have not seen anything disturbed. Still, this is an awful situation. I have to fly down and try to see if this person is squatting etc. The neighbors are very nice, but also really frustrated. They have been trying to get FIL to stop having this person ring their doorbell at all hours. Their guests are also freaked out as the woman does not seem stable. My husband is the newly elected condo president. He informed everyone about this situation and to take extra precautions. He is not speaking to his father.

Where would you even start with this???

[Mike-And-Jane0]

@Laura2592 what a great story! I would suggest the neighbours call the police and get the woman taken away when she rings their doorbell.

[Laura2592]

@Mike-And-Jane0 my husband sent out notice that anyone who sees her should call the police. But its New Orleans....the police are not known to be super responsive for minor things. 

[Mark116]

@Laura2592  I really don't have any good advice.  Even if the police were to arrest her, she will be back out in no time.  Even if your FIL refused to see her any more, she will still keep coming to the house for who knows how long, might get violent, might break in or worse.  She kept coming even when he was out of town, so it's kind of an ingrained habit by now.  I'm so sorry to hear this.  

The best case is that someone tells her she can't hang out there any more and that if she does, police will be called, then keep calling the police.  However, there is a high risk there on multiple fronts of a bad outcome.  Clearly, your FIL has to stop seeing her as step one.

[Laura2592]

@Mark116 I am trying to find out her name and see if there are outstanding warrants. I am sure NOPD will pick her up if so.

My big concern is that she is squatting. Its really hard to get the truth from my FIL about her access. I will be changing the locks to the front door and our door and he will not have a key. If I see her outside only, I intend to approach with compassion and "reveal" that FIL is a narc who is targeting her and her group of associates (he brags that he is a former Navy SEAL, untrue, but it will track to tell her he's law enforcement) and warn her away from him for her own good. If she is indeed living there, I will contact the Sheriff. 

We are going to take a vote in the building about a big fine and censure. This is unbelievable to all. 

[Julia0]

@Laura2592 

Update please!!

[Helen744]

@Laura2592 Oh dearrrr. I do not think daddyo has really figured out his job requirements but he is your partners dad , so diplomacy would indicate that your partner ring the police and tell them the situation and ask them if they know her and if they can do a drive past every now and again and tell her she is trespassing and that ,'whatever your FILs name is ' is no longer there and the other guests have complained and its not a drop in centre and more to the point money and drugs are not kept on the site , but holy toledo batman , no wonder your FIL ran away. Family stuff here but he needs a bit of a talking to . Get him on a dating site . sheesh H 

[Helen744]

Tell her that you heard there is a huge shipment of meth coming in on the other side of town and how much you hate meth heads and if you see any you will ring the police. The truth about drug users is they think no one can tell. H

[Laura2592]

All-- no real update yet. A friend there is driving by the place and checking on it every evening (former law enforcement.)  The neighbors report that she has been back twice this week and they have sent their Ring images to the police. I am joining Nextdoor there to post as well. The last 2 ABB guests mentioned the "unhealthy" woman on the porch in feedback and marked down categories. I feel really terrible for my neighbors. We like them and understand how hard hosting is at the best of times. This is a real safety issue.

I can't get there until Monday due to work and other obligations but I cleared my calendar next week. Husband called a board meeting where safety and nuisance guests will be part of the agenda. 

FIL has lost his mind. Husband called his aunts/dad's sisters and sent them the videos. FIL is back in his home state living near the aunts. The narrative he is spinning is that his "son's wife" (me) is somehow trying to break up his relationship. After seeing the videos, no one believes this. Husband said he was "disappointed" in his father's behavior to him and FIL flipped out, sent a super rude text that its no one's business if he wants to "recreate" with a meth head. We now think he may have been dabbling in drug use with her. I am ready for divorce lol. I just want some peace. 

[Helen744]

@2592 Call his bluff and tell FIL  via son that you may divorce him if somethings not done about this woman . and if he has decided to marry her then you will never talk to him again . I doubt he has even thought any of it through, and just is being defensive . This woman is a  problem in any ones world and if he likes her, then maybe he should pop back and see her as she is living on the porch . I suppose if he likes her he may be able to call her phone and ask her to "go home" Or tell him you would love to spend more time with him and his new girl and to pop on down  H

[Laura2592]

Update- I'm here in New Orleans and managed to have the woman arrested but only after she threw a brick through the front door. She's been living under the house, sleeping naked behind his illegally parked car, and awaiting his return.  She steals the big plastic rolling trash bins to sleep in and has vandalized cars in the area, broken into neighbors sheds. She's a menace.

Within 3 hours of landing she was locked up. She carries a bunch of clothes with her that (this is true!) FiL purchased for her so that she can not match descriptions when she's called in. Neighbors have been calling non emergency but I called the emergency number when it was clear she's living on the premises.  There was no civil conversation.  She immediately started screaming obscenities when I confronted her about trespassing.  She claims my FIL is coming back for her. No idea what he actually told her. He claims not to know her name. States charges are being filed so hopefully she stays in jail awhile. 

We have a condo board meeting tonight and FiL has been sending really crazy texts to everyone that this incident is somehow my fault. He's just deflecting. He doesn't seem to understand that we have cameras everywhere outside and texts from the neighbors to him about this woman.  She stayed with him for several weeks at least. He seems nonchalant that she's been arrested.  

I'm meeting with glass replacement people and changed all the exterior locks and locks to my unit. Putting up no trespassing signs.  Fun times. This is the culprit...

**[Image removed in line with the Community Center Guidelines]

[Helen3]

@Laura2592  appreciate how awful this situation is for you and your neighbours but I don't feel it's appropriate for you to share an image of her on the WWW. What are you hoping to achieve by posting her image?

[Laura2592]

@Helen3 she is a criminal. In the US, when someone commits a crime, there are often images posted of them so that others can report them if they see them. If there are other ABB hosts here (and there are several in our neighborhood) I am happy to alert them that this person is causing havoc. If she moves to another New Orleans neighborhood where there are other hosts, this might alert those individuals when the damage inevitably begins. I did not post this in the general forum because I only wish to target hosts who may experience issues with their properties.  That is what I hoped to achieve.

And for the record, I did have someone contact me privately who hosts a few streets away who did experience some theft on his property and captured a similar image on his security camera. We were able to exchange info about the police case number.  

[Laura2592]

This is the damage to the door. The next airbnb guests downstairs are on Friday.  They cN use a different entrance but I'm working to secure everything safely.  

[Mark116]

@Laura2592  Please be careful.  I don't want to sound like I'm stereotyping drug users here, but this woman has already shown she has a capacity for violence.  I'm sure she knows other, possibly more violent people. As someone who has spent many hours watching true crime shows, there is a lot of potential here for things to go really off the rails.

If your FIL wants to partake of drugs, that's up to him.  Surely he could find a less destructive 'partner' for these various past times.

Can he be bought out?  That seems like the best solution if he refuses to acknowledge that bringing in a violent semi homeless drug use to the property is a problem.    Good luck and keep us posted.