Your wackiest guest tale

[Laura2592]

Reading some of these crazy guest stories makes me feel less alone when I have one. So share some of your wackiest guest tales!

My best one so far this year was the infamous firelog situation where my honeymooners forgot to open the flue and threw a flaming Duraflame on the front porch (carried it through the house instead of opening the window to let out the smoke from the closed flue...) I bought a cute rug to cover the stains on the flagstones. The all-time favorite has to be the guy who threw up in the flower bed after too much to drink (ON THE MORNING OF CHECK OUT!) When my cleaners took a pic and shared it he tried to claim it was mulch and not vomit, and then that vomit was "good for plants" and that as an "science plant expert" he knew that "factally."

My favorite guest request of recent days was the woman who wanted me to ask the other guests who had booked to change their dates because SHE HAD A WEDDING TO ATTEND and then got very huffy when I said I was uncomfortable with that. 

I know many of you have been hosting much longer than I. Share your best stories.  I could use a laugh today 🙂

[Colleen253]

@Laura2592 Well, there was that time my guests decided to throw down an impromptu bonfire on my gravel driveway and gather the antique dining room chairs round it. The best part of that story was upon checkout (eviction) inspection I found a $100 bill on the floor behind the dining room curtain. Just desserts. My stories are no match for yours though. The Airbnb Academy Award is yours 🤣

[Laura2592]

@Colleen253 when I lived in a hip DC neighborhood I used to find $100 bills on my Sunday morning walks. All the drunk folks from the bars would drop them on their way into taxis and Ubers. Strange to find one at an ABB behind a curtain. Perhaps you interrupted the next entertainment at the bachelor party....

[Pat271]

I have a 2 bedroom/2 bath condo, with a pullout queen sofabed. I was told that I really ought to have a third bathroom, to accommodate the people using the sofabed. Yessir, I’ll get right on that construction project. 🙄 You can’t make this stuff up.

[Laura2592]

@Pat271  I mean, what are you thinking?? Every butt needs its own toilet! Better HGTV that right up. 

I had a guest who wrote in our private feedback that we really should have a specific type of sofa for his next stay because that is what he prefers. Yep. That was very valuable information and we acted on it immediately.

[Christine615]

OMG! @Pat271  I had a guest who booked for herself and 3 students to attend a medical exam course. In their review they complained that there was only one bathroom (There has only ever been one bathroom and that was clear in the listing). Because I'm an idiot, I didn't realize Airbnb would stack "non-refundablel" with the monthly discount. So these young people got a 1500 sq foot apartment with 3 bedrooms and four beds (no sofa beds) for a whopping $76 a night. Meaning they only paid $19/night each.

So it's clear from that amazing rate I can add a bathroom on to the apartment for the next time. (lol!)

(Note, I scrapped non-refundable and the idiotic Airbnb monthly discount suggestions).

[Sarah977]

@Christine615  My dashboard tells me that I haven't instituted 80% of Airbnb's suggestions, all of which I would never do. 

No, I won't use IB.

No, I won't take last minute bookings.

No, I won't open up blocked days- they are blocked for a reason.

Etc.

And no, I won't offer discounts. If their algorithms were properly programmed, they would see that the majority of my bookings are a week to 2 weeks in length. So why would I offer weekly discounts when guests stay that long anyway without any offered discounts?

And no, I won't install heating so I can check that in the amenities section, when I live in the tropics where no heat is ever required. 🙂

[Scott-and-Mary-Ellen0]

@Sarah977  When we hosted in our home (on hiatus for Covid) we got a lot of business travelers. But we couldn't pass Airbnb muster to be listed that way because we didn't allow self check-in.  At the time we had a dog (RIP, Daisy May), a very friendly Lhasa apso, and who would allow a stranger to let him/herself into your home with an animal there by itself? Some things just don't make sense.  

[Sarah977]

@Scott-and-Mary-Ellen0   Oh yes, that's another thing on my 80% "bad girl" dashboard suggestion list- self check-in. I live down a tiny dirt road off a bigger dirt road, none of the house numbers go in any sane order, so no one can easily find my house. I pick the majority of my guests up at the bus stop and if they take a cab I have to explain to the driver, about 3 times, where my house is. I also have a 70 pound dog who barks her head off at strangers and looks ferocious, even though she isn't. And my doors are hand-wrought metal that have no way to attach a keypad or smart lock.

Self check-in is never, ever going to happen.

[Kelly149]

@Laura2592 recently we had a guest IB for 3 guests.... those 3 guests were his elderly parents and disabled brother.... they were coming to attend his son's first birthday party.... that btw, would it be ok if they had that at the barn? ohhh and also, where was the closed off room where said one year old could take his nap. It was at this point where I called CS and cancelled his booking... which he found extremely rude. Extremely. bc well, now he wasn't going to get his money back for several days and this was going to RUIN a child's birthday party. Ruin... ok, I was breathing in and out as I typed out "I'm sure you'll work it out and have a lovely time! All the best, congrats, enjoy, happy birthday.....!!!!!"

Thank goodness they're not coming!

[Lawrene0]

I never mind a bit of harmless wackiness, like this one, @Laura2592 :

Solo guest jammed everything -- every pot, pan, plate, fork, book, blanket, vase of flowers (stems bent), container of soap, bottle of mosquito repellent, everything -- under the bed. I thought, when I entered to do the turnover, that he had cleaned me out. But no, there it all was under the bed.

Okay, he likes a spartan look to a place. 

Then he reviewed me. Public review was fine, five stars. Private note was, "You should clean under the bed." 

[Alexandra316]

@Lawrene0 My favourite story of yours is the guest who was told to park by the tinman and didn't really listen properly. 

[Lawrene0]

Found it! Thanks for the reminder, @Alexandra316 . 🙂  It's here:  https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Hosting/The-Wonderful-Wizard-of-Oz-or-how-pop-culture-can-mess-u...

[Laura2592]

@Lawrene0  that made me make a noise that can only be described as a guffaw.

[Sarah977]

@Laura2592  I feel left out. I've never had a really wacky guest. But I did property manage the little cabin next to me and had a string of crummy renters, all of whom presented themselves quite well when they asked to rent the cabin.

One had a small dog I approved, then proceeded to adopt every stray dog she came across, until there were 4. At one point I counted 17 deep holes they had dug in the gardens. One dog ripped up the curtains after she "accidentally" left it in the house all day. I'm not sure how you can fail to notice a medium sized dog inside when you go to lock up in a 5mtr. x 4mtr. one room cabin.

Then one day I saw the vegetable crisper drawer from the brand new fridge I had bought for the place just before she moved in, out in the yard, full of water. I asked if she was cleaning out the fridge or what, but she proudly informed me that she realized it made a great dog water bowl which didn't need to be refilled often, as it was so large.

She also had a friend who was strung out on meth who would come over every night and have screaming meltdowns, slamming doors, cursing, kicking things. I would hear the renter talking to her in a low, reasonable voice, trying to calm her down. When I told the renter this couldn't continue, she said she really needed to try to help her friend. I had to make it clear that she rented a cabin in which to live, not to run a rehab center out of.