@Nicklas5 You should never send a booking request if all you want to do is ask the host a question. When you send a booking request, as soon as the host clicks on "Accept", you will be charged for the booking. Sending a booking request indicates that you are ready to commit to booking those dates.
If you just want to ask some questions, you need to send an Inquiry instead. To do that, you click on the "Contact host" that appears right under their listing description. You still have to enter dates, but it doesn't obligate you in any way. Even if the host pre-approves you, that just lets the guest go on to book, but you don't get immediately charged, you have to take the initiative to actually book it.
Hope you and the host can work this refund out.