Picky, picky picky... How do you handle THOSE nitpicking and/or demanding guests?

[Huma0]

Oh, so here we go again. I had a guest check in yesterday evening and I already have a bad feeling. Okay, so she hasn't said or done anything major, but it's only a day since she arrived and, already:

1. Asked some questions, but ignored my questions and then instant booked anyway.

2. Wanted to check in at 1am. My check in is from 3-9pm.

3. Agreed to check in the next day, but was vague about the time and seemed surprised that I would want to know. I asked her in that case to give me an hour's notice, to which she agreed. Instead, she messaged me 15 minutes before arrival.

4. Didn't mention to me prior to booking that she has an allergy to cats. I have three of them and clearly state in my house rules to not book if you are allergic.

5. Making comments about how many stairs there are to her room (not only on the listing but reiterated to her in the message thread before she booked).

5. Asking if she could keep her toiletries in the bathroom, to which I said yes, but then she wanted to put them in my personal cupboard, to which I said no. Now she wants me to provide an 'attractive' basket for them.

6. Complained that the WiFi in her room doesn't work properly and has disrupted her work meeting. WiFi is working fine for everyone else, but I go up to check and there are five bars. All seems to be working fine, but I reboot anyway.

7. When asked if the room was warm enough, said yes, but later said the radiators weren't working properly. When I asked if it was okay to go check them, suddenly she says they are working now. I literally haven't adjusted anything so that makes no sense.

8. Questions about the door handle on her bedroom door. She is having trouble using it.

9. Asking for 'communal' food items that are neither specified on my listing, nor shown to guests on the check in tour, when they are clearly shown which things are there for their use and told not to help themselves to other food.

10. There was also some miscommunication RE her work set up, which I am not totally comfortable with.

So, this is all small stuff (I have probably forgotten something), but has all happened prior to or within 24 hours of the guests arrival and she is here for one month. Normally I would have asked the guest by this stage if everything is okay with their stay, but I hardly need to as she is quite happy to find ways to keep me on my toes.

[Christine615]

I think Airbnb could help hosts a lot by allowing us to better flag guests who should not be on the platform. So many people looking for cheap accommodations without realizing what their own obligations are as guests.

[Huma0]

@Christine615 

Yep, I think the whole flagging/reporting guests thing doesn't work at all. I have reported guests who were clearly breaking the rules (creating fake profiles and that sort of thing) and, even when CS were the ones who told me to report/block them, their fake profiles were allowed to remain on the platform. 

Perhaps they only take action when more than one, or a number of, hosts flag a profile? I don't know. I have never come across any help or policy articles that explain how that works.

[Christine615]

@.

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Huma0  uh, I know this type. I also manage some mid and long-term apartments and had a few similar foreign students. I am not very good at hiding my annoyance but they seem not to recognize it, unfortunately. So, when I have enough I just call them for a meeting and tell them I am not their mum and they are not my only child. I have about 600 guests each year over Airbnb and about 40 tenants. And I take care of XX properties. This means I can't repeat or discuss every single rule, every single article in the contract or message everyone 3x before I get an answer. I expect everyone to read, answer with "OK" , obey what I've said and use common sense for everything else. In other words - to cooperate. If they don't like it they can cancel and find another place to live.

Usually, it works 🙂

[Huma0]

@Branka-and-Silvia0 @Lenore22 

You both seem to think I should take a hard line here and you are probably right. The guest is not unpleasant per se in her communication and hasn't directly expressed that she is unhappy. However, I have funnily enough, occasionally had guests in the past who started off like this and ended up delighted with their stay, left me five stars, kept in touch and wanted to book again. So, there's no telling how this one is going to go. I just don't have a great feeling about it right now, but maybe I am still sore about losing a wonderful guest for this one.

So, I think I will see what tomorrow brings. If the gripes and demands continue, I'll have to have words with her I guess, i.e. ask her if she is happy with the listing, because if she is not, I can offer her a refund if she wants to leave. I doubt that I will fill the room now for those dates but it's better than a month of pain!

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Huma0  I just can't imagine sharing my home with guests .... in fact, with anyone except my dog 🙂

[Huma0]

@Branka-and-Silvia0 

Yes, I get that. Unfortunately, right now I can't afford to keep this house (and I do really want to keep it) if I don't share it. Right before the pandemic, I was seriously thinking of scaling back my Airbnb stays, as work was going well, but then I lost most of my income due to COVID. It was a relief when the bookings started to come in again, but also a stress as I had, for the first time, gotten to feel that my space was my own.

When you have great guests, it all seems well worth it, and not just for financial reasons, and I have had a few of those lately. When you have the other type, that's not so much fun.

Funnily enough though, my cats can be a great distraction. When I am in the company of a guest that makes me feel uncomfortable and the silence gets awkward, I start chatting to the cats, which helps to hide the discomfort and distract both me and the guests!

[Mark116]

@Huma0   I guess you could give it another day or two to see if she settles down, and if she continues to complain & be high maintenance you could talk to her about relocating.  It's a difficult situation with being both in home and a longer booking.

[Huma0]

@Mark116 

I had a slightly similar guest in December/January who kept asking for more, more, more. It was a bit exhausting but I learnt where to draw the line and say no. She ended up loving it here, wanted to extend (not possible as the rooms were fully booked) and actually cried when she left. She left me 5* across the board and stayed in contact for a while (we even met up one evening) but she was just too needy.

However, this guest is both asking for things that most guests wouldn't but bringing up little issues all the time. It seems the expectations are very high considering what I charge. I understand that the WiFi and the heating need to work, but they do! No one else is complaining! That's what makes me feel uneasy rather than just exhausted, and I do really feel exhausted.

Let's see what tomorrow brings. I will actually be away for four days next week on a work trip. Either that will help because the guest will learn to get on with things without constant niggles and demands, or it will go the other way and she will be constantly messaging me while I'm away, which will be stressful as these work trips are full on and I won't have time to be constantly answering her messages.

[Huma0]

On this same subject (sort of), has anyone noticed that more guests these days are expecting stuff that isn't included in the listing, especially food?

While I have had this kind of guest in the past, they do seem to be more frequent lately. I mention on the listing that tea, coffee, sugar, salt, pepper and cooking oil will be provided. Nothing else. In reality, I do provide more, e.g. many different types of tea, coffee, sugar, sweetener, honey, hot chocolate and some breakfast cereals, different types oil as well as some spices and vinegars, condiments etc. 

The guest is given a very thorough tour of the kitchen when they check in and they are shown a cupboard dedicated to these things (as well as spaces to store their own things), told to help themselves but very clearly told NOT to help themselves to other food in the kitchen. After all, it might belong to another guest rather than me. The all nod their heads in agreement.

Then, they start to ask, where is "X?". "Do you have Y?" for stuff that is NOT INCLUDED. I'm not being mean. Of course, I do not mind guests having a bit of my oyster sauce or siricha or whatever. But, I never advertised a kitchen full of every condiment going so, if they are going to use a lot of something that isn't specified as included, i.e. daily use, they need to buy their own. After all, they are long term guests. I really don't see why a guest staying several months can't buy their own bottle of sauce, especially if they are going to go through it in a week and leave nothing for me. It is a homeshare and these things are there because I like to cook and buy them for myself.

This rarely was a problem. Now I am finding it very commonplace. Is there communal butter? NO. There is cooking oil as specified (and several types). Can I buy coconut sugar because the guest prefers to sprinkle that on her yoghurt? NO. I see you have extra virgin olive oil, but I like to have extra, extra virgin on my salads, so can your provide some of that as well? NO. One thing I definitely ask my long term guests to buy themselves is their own laundry detergent (it's crazy how often guests put on the machine for two t-shirts and a pair of socks and pour half a bottle of detergent in at the same time), but not only do they fail to do that, but they ask me to buy a different kind!

Sorry, that's a bit of a rant, but I don't remember it being such a common occurrence in he past that guests would come to a homeshare that lists basics like tea, coffee, sugar and expect to be provided with a whole deli load of stuff.

[Lenore22]

I wonder if a reminder inside the cupboards would help: restating "x, y, z are provided for your convenience. All other items should be furnished by guests, themselves." ... Or however you put it in the listing. 

[Huma0]

@Lenore22 ]

It might well help, but I am a bit adverse to sticking notes, instructions and reminders around the place, other than 'dishwasher is on, please don't open'! I think the problem is, once I would start, there were would be notes all over the place to cover all the stuff guests seem to constantly be reminded. 

I hate to be passive aggressive, but I have started to resort to hiding certain things away because guests are just helping themselves when they shouldn't.

[Gillian166]

@Lenore22  yes we have a shared kitchen and initially we cleared half the pantry for guests and put a blackboard sticker on the front, and we could write their name on it. Our pantry is actually in its own room off the kitchen and we found guests forgot about it, one lady even wrote it's a shame we didn't have a toaster and microwave and I really had to bite my tongue not to write back "darling, we have a whole entire room just for the toaster and microwave!" haha. We have now moved the toaster into the kitchen proper and now give the guests a whole bench of the kitchen. We have a very large kitchen though, so this is not a problem. 

 Obviously doesn't work for @Huma0 's situation where she has different guests staying in the house. 

[Gillian166]

@Huma0  hmm, just yesterday we had a guest suggest I provide jam and butter! And last week a guest asked for more milk (we give them about 500ml) and turns out she wanted it for her cereal. She had brought her own cereal, but not milk.... In the big scheme of things, it's fine, the majority of guests hardly use any milk, but yes, each week there's a request for something "extra". (and don't get me started on the % of guests who ask for early check in and late checkout)

Everyone has different expectations and I find the older crowd (60+) are the ones who think we are all BnBs. (I blame ABB for creating such a misleading name for their business). The 60+ crowd however, might actually be ok (not thrilled, but would be ok), to share an opened jam jar, but the younger crowd? no way. they would demand a single-use plastic condiment, so they can trot off and then make a post on insta about how wonderfully progressive and caring they are...... 🤣  I don't might putting butter in the fridge, but no one will share it, and fair enough. I've had flatmates in the past, heck even my own family can't agree on how one should put a knife in the butter, and "who put crumbs/butter in the vegemite?" is a common complaint here. My Boomer mum suggested we put little ceramic pots of butter and jam in the fridge, but that's a bit of extra work too, and wasteful if it's not used. And which jam?? and what about honey and pb and nutella? where does it end? 

I am wondering when I will get my first guest who asks for low-fat, skim or lactose free, almond/soy/oat etc instead of real milk. We provide full-cream normal milk, that's it. 

[Huma0]

@Gillian166 

Yep, there is this disconnect with some guests (and this type seems to be on the rise) between an Airbnb and a traditional BnB. However, even in a traditional B&B, breakfast might be included, but it doesn't mean you can wander into the kitchen at any time of day and help yourself. That would never be acceptable, would it?

Then there is an even greater disconnect I believe when it comes to homestay. Most guests get it (especially long term ones) but the ones who don't seem to be on the increase, i.e. the ones who think that anything they see in your home is for their use, regardless of what you stated on the listing. Why they would think that, I don't know. Clearly, if it is your home, you would also have your own things there, but I have even had guests comment that it was really useful that I provided a kettle and umbrellas for their use, as if I wouldn't have a kettle anyway and as if those umbrellas were for them and not my own!

I get what you are saying also about the older crowd. Yes, I have often found this to be the case as well. They are more likely to expect a traditional BnB set up where you serve them breakfast with jam and butter in little dishes. Not going to happen here, I'm afraid. Not unless they want me to hike up my nightly rate to cover both the food and the labour involved.

Current guest did ask where was the 'communal' butter. There is no 'communal butter'. I provide quite a few things but any kind of fresh food is not part of that. Like you said, you just end up with so much waste. Milk has become a minefield. How many types would you have to buy to keep everyone happy? I notice my guests really vary on what type of milk they use and hardly any of them use butter, so it's not a thing I think to get for the random guest who asks for it (this is honestly the first one I can think of that expected butter). Again, so much wastage, which is one, although not the only reason, I do not do breakfast.

I am not being stingy. I will happily bake an enormous cake or muffins or something and treat my guests to it, which lately they all seem grateful for, but it's a treat. It's not to be expected.