Host has too many "guests"

[Kay897]

I'm sharing an apartment with the host's mother and her sister. They have been polite and respectful, and they are superhosts with positive reviews. 
 
However, there is a circumstance change as the mother fell sick shortly before my arrival and nowadays, there are always visitors in the house during the late evenings and weekends. 
 
They would gather in the living room and talk/laugh, and being uncomfortable with staying in the living room, I'd retreat to my own room. They would also use the dining table, eg. today the granddaughters came to visit her and were studying at the table, the host politely asked if I could eat at the sofa instead (which I dislike as it is not confortable position to me). Oftentimes, I also need to share the dining table with her relatives - although I can, I just feel uncomfortable having meals with people with whom I don't know well. Sometimes, one of the host's brother-in-law will come and he smokes. Although he does it discreetly, eg. directing to the window, in general there's a lingering smell and I'd always retreat to my room and close the doors. There are also one-off inconveniences such as the host's niece bathing and I had to wait to prepare my meal (so that she had hot water to bathe). Once, the niece also stayed over and I only found out the next morning. During the weekends, I try not to be home as I know there are visitors and I try to avoid them much as I can. Of course, on some days, the mother will go to the host's place instead and the house will be calm, but I'd never know.

It's my first time renting a private room and I did it because I wanted to reduce my costs. The host's mother and sister are very nice too, and have also helped me on occasions (eg. Taking in the laundry when I was out and it rained, etc). However, I didn't expect and won't adapt to the constant visitors in the house. Previous reviews do not mention about visitors. I understand that the host's mother is sick and the rationale of having visitors but it's making me feel even more restricted in the house. I also don't feel appropriate to bring this up to the host or her relatives because it's their house after all.

I still have about 50 days in this apartment before I move out, having already stayed 30 days. I am actually looking at other options for my remaining stay but I know I'd incur a loss of 1 month if I move out now. I also understand that the rental goes to the host's mum, who had to stop working recently due to her illness. They aren't bad hosts too, just that the visitors part is a bit too much for me to take and I didn't expect it.

Is there anyway that I could go about doing this? Can I feedback to Airbnb? Can I cancel my long-term stay and contact the resolution centre after that? I'd want to leave, but I don't want to affect their rating, but neither do I want to incur a huge 1 month loss (about 450 euros). Or on the contrary, am I being selfish/antisocial and have I set my expectations too high? Is this what is expected of renting a room from someone?

Thank you for reading my post.

Sincerely

[Sarah977]

@Kay897  In renting a shared-home listing, a guest may of course find that there are more people visiting or staying over than just the host- as you say, it is their home. And I do think it's a bit unreasonable for you to not want to sit and eat with the host's family- if you are the kind of person who doesn't feel comfortable with people you don't know, even in a safe, family-oriented situation, you probably shouldn't book shared-home listings.

I've had friends or relatives come to spend a few days or the night when I've had guests, bedding them down on the couch in the living room. However, the living room isn't part of the common spaces my guests have access to and my own personal house guests didn't take over the spaces that the guest has access to, like the kitchen, or the dining table and I certainly wouldn't ask my paying guest to go sit somewhere else because my family wanted to use the dining table. 

The protocol when you are staying at an Airbnb and find something to be unacceptable is to first notify the host, giving them an opportunity to address the issue. If the host is unresponsive, or nasty, or indicates that that's just how it has to be, then you move on to contacting Airbnb to see if it can be resolved or you can be relocated. 

So don't be reluctant to tell the host how you feel- they have no idea that the situation is making you uncomfortable if you don't tell them- hosts aren't mind-readers. If I were you, I would send your objections to the situation in an Airbnb message to the host- that way there will be a written record of the complaint, as well as the host's response, should you need to proced to contact Airbnb. It will also probably be easier for you to do, rather than having to confront the host verbally. Your post indicates that you do have some understanding of the situation from the family's point of view- that they couldn't predict the mother getting ill when you booked, or how that would change the household dynamic, and also it's to your credit that you question whether you are expecting too much, so if you just write the message in the manner you've posted here, it hopefully won't be taken by the host in a bad way. If you express how uncomfortable this is making you feel, while expressing understanding that this wasn't a situation they could have foreseen, and that when you booked, you were aware that you'd be sharing with mom and daughter, but that you didn't sign up to share the house with tons of others and certainly not to be asked to go eat on the couch because the table is taken up with the hosts rellies, maybe the host will change things that will solve the problem. Like I said, you have to give your host the opportunity to address guest issues.