Hurtful Private Feedback from Recent Guests

Susan653
Level 10
Groton, CT

Hurtful Private Feedback from Recent Guests

Hi all,

 

Apologies in advance that this is more a vent than a request for advice, but I'm upset and I know only other hosts will understand.

 

A couple of weeks ago, I hosted a woman, her sister, and her niece. The guest had originally booked for her two sisters, but the older one fell and broke her pelvis. The guest contacted me to say she'd be cancelling, but then decided at the last minute to follow through on the reservation. I wish now she HAD cancelled.

 

 Upon arrival, the guest informed me that the apartment was "dirty." I asked her to show me, and she pointed out that the track for the shower door wasn't clean enough. She also said the outside of the shower door felt "weird" and that the floor of the shower wasn't clean. This was news to me, and the first time I'd ever had complaints about the bathrooom, which, of course, I clean thoroughly before each and every guest. Unfortunately, the fixtures are old and the shower is a fiberglass one I inherited, which, on its best day, never looks as sparkly it would if it were porcelain tiled and glazed.  The guest made a point to tell me, after complaining about the bathroom, that her niece/fellow guest ". . . was the main housekeeper for the president of (some college I'd never heard of),  so SHE knows what 'clean' is." I apologized and promised to re-clean the bathroom while they went out to dinner, which I did, while my children waited for me to make their dinner. Needless to say, I was totally freaked out and stressed for the rest of their stay, worrying about how this would affect her review. Midway through the reservation, I left some local freshwater taffy, a mason jar with flowers from my property, and a note to say I hoped they were enjoying their stay in a little card hand-drawn by my older son. I do leave little treats now and again for guests,  "just because," but this time, I felt desperate when doing it. Not a great feeling. Needless to say, I was relieved when they finally left.

 

She texted to say thanks for the taffy and wrote a fairly nice comment in the guestbook. They certainly left the apartment ship shape (yay?). And she left a review right away, but I waited until tonight (one day before the review window closed) to leave mine.  I couldn't leave a negative review because they really hadn't done anything bad. They more or less observed my house rules, didn't leave a mess, and were good communicators, so I gave them a good review, although I didn't rave about them in the comments--just said they were nice guests who left the place tidy.  And then it was time to read her review. The public comments were fine, but the star rating was 4-star. This didn't suprise me, and I figured it could have been worse. It was her private feedback that really bummed me out. She said she appreciated the "little touches" I provided, but then:

 

"However, I feel I needed to be completely honest and report on our feelings about the other things. On the previous screens. The outside of a property is the first thing one sees and with me and my family it did not make a good impression. Every time we returned to the place and I saw the outside, I felt so bad that I chose it, especially since the whole choice was mine and not the quests with me. They were not at all impressed as I wanted them to be.”

 

I know I shouldn't take this personally, but it's hard not to. It's true my house doesn't have the greatest curb appeal. It has old, faded vinyl siding I can't afford to replace, though I'd dearly love to rip it all off and rehab the mid-century shingling underneath. I'm a single parent and my income comes from hosting, freelance copywriting, and transcription work. My ex owes over $7k in support payments. I clean the Airbnb myself and mow and landscape the property myself because I can't afford to hire people to do these things. And the property, while it can get a little weedy now and again, has lovely perennial shrubs and flowers and mature trees everywhere. I always hope that helps make up for the house and attached apartment's somewhat careworn exterior--and that the care I take INSIDE is what counts most. My reviews seem to prove this out, but it still hurts to get this kind of "feedback" about something I truly can't afford to improve. I guess I should be more thankful she didn't put that in her public review. 😞

 

30 Replies 30
Alexandra316
Level 10
Lincoln, Canada

@Susan653 Yeah it sucks when you get a petty guest. Your Hyacinth Bucket wannabe guest should take it easy. Your listing shows exactly what they're getting, including the exterior, so what were they mad about?

 

Your listing does look very nice and cosy, and your reviews speak for themselves: obvously the vast majority  of guests love what you're doing. Some people are just never going to be happy, and it's unfortunate when they try and take it out on you.

Casita-By-The-Texas-Bay0
Level 10
Texas, United States

@Susan653  I am sorry your feelings are hurt by this person's review...I understand how you feel...it is hard not to take the comments people make as personal when you love your home, and wish people would love it too...but, there are always those that will not -and no matter what you do, they will never be happy or satisfied...these people usually are not happy no matter where they go!  

Mark116
Level 10
Jersey City, NJ

@Susan653  While there isn't a full shot of the exterior of the house, the outside shots look lovely to me, plenty of shrubs and annuals to make it look pretty.  You might consider putting in a full frontal shot of the property, but otherwise it seems like this guest was just a jerk.  I don't see anything to be upset about as far as the exterior.

Lisa723
Level 10
Quilcene, WA

@Susan653  Good grief, what a pill. Aren't you glad you aren't her?  She must be miserable.

Sarah977
Level 10
Sayulita, Mexico

@Susan653  I actually wrote you a fairly lengthy response when this post first appeared, and when I tried to post it, got a message saying the topic could no longer be found, and I couldn't even find it again on the Help forum. I assumed you had deleted it for some reason. Very strange.

Anyway, I won't bother writing all that again, I had just said I was really sorry this person had made you feel bad. And that as a single mom who raised 3 kids with deadbeat ex's who never paid child support and a big old house that took a lot of maintainance, I could totally relate to your situation.

This woman is a typical passive-aggressive type. Compliments you out of one side of her mouth and calls you down out of the other.

Forget about her, there aren't enough hours in the day for you to attend to all you have on your plate as is.

You know, it disappeared on me, too, right after I'd posted it. I got no replies, so I figured nobody else was seeing it, either (or it was too whiny to warrant a response, heh) . . . and then all the replies dropped in my email this morning! Strange, indeed.

 

I'm sorry you had to deal with a deadbeat, too--and with three kids? Yikes. It's toughest on them, and that's what really gets me angry. But yes, you're absolutely right that I have enough to deal with without worrying about this lady's passive-aggressive shenanigans, so onward and upward! 🙂

@Susan653  Back when my kids were young , at least when I had my first, at 23, it was back in the early 70's. A lot of us didn't really expect the dads to stick around or be responsible as far as child support. It was foolish to let them get away with that,. but so it was.

It was actually good for my girls to grow up not being showered with everything their hearts' desired. We always had good food on the table, they were well-clothed, they each had their own room, even though the rooms were small, I grew a big veggie garden, canned fruit and made enough jam to last all year when the fruit was in season and cheap. Because they didn't get every new toy that was in vogue, they were happy and grateful with simple gifts. When they got to be teenagers, and wanted Calvin Klein jeans, they got weekend and after school jobs so they could buy what they wanted. They all grew up to be responsible women with down-to earth values who have thanked me for their upbringing.

It wasn't the lack of financial support from the 2 fathers that bothered me - it was the promises they made to the kids that they never followed through on. Lack of material things is nothing compared with emotional disappointment.

Lawrene0
Level 10
Florence, Canada

All wonderful advice, @Susan653, and how tempting it must be to write back, "Oh dear. I do hope you find better traveling companions in future."

But we don't. We're professionals. 😉

I like to think that the guest's ears are burning right about now, hope she doesn't spontaneously combust! ( I am really a nice person most of the time,  just hate passive aggressive people).

Paul154
Level 10
Seattle, WA

Ironically, I really love these impossible to please guests.

It makes me so stressed that I raise my rates to assauge my hurt feelings.

I laugh all the way to the bank!

 

The more guests are like this, the less competitors we'll have (= $$)

Edith158
Level 4
Cleveland, OH

Good grief, this guest was weaned on a pickle ! 

Larry181
Level 1
South Riding, VA

I had a similar guest only she made her comments publically.  We have a maid service and I personally inspect, often dust and vacuum as well.  Some people are just jerks.

Helen427
Level 10
Auckland, New Zealand

@Larry181 

Welcome to CC

 

Do you ever reply to your public reviews?
There's a option to give feedback whis great to help balance things out, or simply to acknowledge & thank guests.

If you use related keywords in the searchbox here in CC you can find useful tips.

 

Nice to see another who treasures their pets - I checked out your profile!

They would be nice and warm if they were here in New Zealand on our now winter nights with the temperature a little cooler rugged up as they are.

 

All the best

Central To All Home & Location

Yikes! Jerks, indeed. I'm so sorry that happened to you and hope that review is now bumped WAY down on your listing!

Helen427
Level 10
Auckland, New Zealand

hello @Susan653 

 

Great to see you have been getting very happy guests since this one off guest.

 

I see in your reviews you have had many positive compliments about your muffins, may I ask what recipe & flavour you make?

 

Thanks in advance

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