Lounge or no lounge?

[Marc6598]

I’ve been AirBnB-ing (is that the right adverb) for a few years now, and one of the things I love about it is meeting new people.

hosts nearly always open their communal living spaces to me, so I can eat at their dining table or watch their tv with them, but recently I stayed with a host who permitted access only to the bedroom and (shared) bathroom.

this meant that I had nowhere to go but my room, on my own, all evening after getting in at the end of the day.

the host was very nice and it wasn’t awkward, but rather sad for me. I gave a good review but haven’t replied to their private message yet (which was nice).

is this normal? Note: it was in another country (if that helps)...

[Anonymous]

@Marc6598 A lot of hosts do have things set it up this way, and their listings tend to be best suited for very active travelers who are primarily just using the room as a place to sleep.  The listing descriptions should always communicate which areas of the home are available for guest use, and there's also the "Interaction with Guests" section where they can express whether they'll be socially available. But unfortunately, Airbnb has never had a had a feature allowing you to filter your search in a way that locates the more interactive hosts. So for this, a careful read of the listing and reviews is necessary.

[Lawrene0]

@Marc6598 , I find the same as you when I am a guest. Most bedroom-in-the-house hosts are extremely welcoming when it comes to opening shared spaces - lovely about chats, meals at the table, even movie-watching with the family. 

But one or two have been like your last one. 

It never bothers me. Reading this forum is one way to get to know how very different hosting styles can be, and why. Some hosts really need that time and space to themselves, and we guests are paying only for the room. We have to be ready to make our own fun, so to speak -- to go for a walk in the neighbourhood, read a book in the room, etc, if we find ourselves with downtime.

At the same time, the ratio is about the same for me as a host. Most guests want some interaction. A few, though, want none at all. Either is fine.

I am glad you were generous with your review. You sound like a great guest! 

So you asked whether being confined to your room is normal. Yes, it can be, in my experience, no matter what country you are in. But my question is this: Did your host offer shared spaces in the listing, but then deny you entry to them when you arrived? If that's the case, you might mention to them privately that they should take down any photos of rooms to which guests were not permitted access.

[Sarah977]

@Marc6598 You're the kind of guest I really appreciate. As an in-home host, I tend to have a lot of interaction with my guests- we'll have long conversations over coffee or a bottle of wine, we've shared meals, I've invited them along on excursions or to a beach they wouldn't know about as a tourist and wouldn't be able to get to without a car.

I've had a few guests who were more private and I'm fine with that- I just try to sense how much interaction a guest would like. I can imagine it would be a bit uncomfortable to book a room in someone's home and feel confined to your bedroom, especially if you're a sociable person in a new place where you don't know anyone else. 

My guests have their private room/bedroom, but have full use of my kitchen and often spend time sitting at the covered terrace table just outside the kitchen. 

Unfortunately, Airbnb doesn't even separate in-home hosts from impersonal property managed listings in general search, let alone have any further filters for home-share hosts who actually like hanging out with their guests (to be fair, many in-home hosts have full-time jobs outside the home, and when they get home from a day's work, may just want to relax, be quiet and private themselves).

About all you can do is read the reviews which might make it clearer whether it was the kind of experience you like to have. And also, you could send feedback to Airbnb regarding this type of situation you enjoy when booking a room in someone's home and suggest that guests like you would like to be able to sort listings in that way.

Airbnb now seems to think that all guests prefer to Instant Book with no pre-communication with the host, and want total privacy, whereas their original PR was "live like a local". Home-share hosts have been asking Airbnb to create a separate category for us, but it's just whistling into the wind- they need to hear this from guests.