Taboo items - put away or leave out

[Bryan186]

I have a friend who is going to start Airbnb. He is a gay man and has 1 bathroom. He has a “shower shot” permanently fixed onto the shower head and wondering if he should remove it. I believe he should keep it if he uses it and it aligns with his lifestyle but set proper expectations with guests booking that you are a gay man, have photos, and a note in the bathroom stating that is not for guest use. Curious what other thoughts are and if anyone else has debated on other items that maybe be off color to someone but normal to others and what they’ve done. 

[Sarah977]

@Bryan186  I must lead a very sheltered life. I didn't even know what that is, had to Google it. If it's easy to detach, I'd advise your friend to remove it when he has guests, although straights might be like me and have no idea what it is. Having your personal douching aparatus in a shared bathroom is probably a bit too personal and off-putting. 

[Bryan186]

Thanks for your input. It’s not the easiest to remove. I would argue it’s similar to other hygiene products that may cause some people to feel awkward. But if it’s kept clean and disclosed, not sure I agree. 

[Sarah977]

@Bryan186  Yes, I did- I was editing my post at the same time time you were posting. 

[Bryan186]

Gotcha

[Sarah977]

@Bryan186  Anything of a very personal nature shouldn't be left out in common spaces- they could either shock or just be a turn-off. False teeth, sex toys, personal lubricants, etc,-strangers don't really want to have to look at things like that.

[Gregory87]

Hey Fellow Minnesotan!

Now that I've looked up what this item is (like @Sarah977 ) I'm in agreement @Bryan186 

 that it should NOT be left out if your friend is hosting guests.  Despite it being a hygiene tool, guests often complain about innocuous items (hair in the bathroom, bugs) and request refunds or rebooking from Airbnb.  Plus, I'm pretty sure most female hosts don't leave their hygiene products out in shared bathrooms.  I can imagine what would happen if this were discovered by guests!

Also, depending on the guest(s), some might play/tamper with the device.  Others with a conservative disposition or traveling with kids may not appreciate having to confront this item.

In searching for information about this device, I also saw a post where a gay man asked how he should deal with this matter since he has a straight roommate.  Suggestions pushed for him to "switch adapters" or use a diverter so it could be removed.

If your friend chooses to leave the device in the shared bathroom, then he should definitely advise guests about it at some point so that they are aware of its existence and can make a decision prior to confirming the booking.

Should this be in a host's personal (private) bathroom, you would have a valid point about leaving it out.  However, based on how you describe the setup, I forsee more problems than benefits for him as a host.

[Bryan186]

True. Maybe if he wants to keep it out he use a different service like mister Bnb geared towards gay men

[Sarah977]

@Bryan186  Yes, I was going to suggest that- perhaps he only would like to host gay men, in which case he should find an appropriate platform for that. On Airbnb he could get some middle-aged straight couple from the bible belt who would cancel and demand their money back 🙂

[Bryan186]

Although that is where I am torn. It’s considered normal hygiene for many gay men. And could be viewed as them discriminating against their host if they complained. But I do believe in- if you can avoid discomfort- do so- if only to ensure a positive experience and good review. 

[Sarah977]

@Bryan186  It may be normal hygiene, but it's something that is inserted into one's body, therefore not appropriate to leave in view of guests. Just as a female host wouldn't leave her personal vaginal douching gear visible in a shared-with-guests bathroom. It has nothing to do with discrimination, it's just a turn off to have to see something quite personal that someone else inserts into their body.  Just a "too much information", kinda like seeing someone else's skid marks in the toilet.

[Bryan186]

Touché. Pun intended. Thanks for the input!

[Sarah977]

@Bryan186  What your friend needs to realize is that there's many alterations that one has to make to their spaces and lifestyles if they want to home share. For instance, when I have my place to myself, I can let the dirty dishes pile up for 2 days before I wash them. But when I have a guest here, who shares my kitchen, I make sure to wash them up all the time. I'm a smoker- when I'm here on my own, I empty my ashtray into the kitchen garbage can. When I have a guest, I go empty it into a garbage pail out in my shed, because it would smell disgusting to a non-smoker, as well as be a visual turn-off to see a bunch of cigarette butts in the can when they opened it. I also don't leave my ashtray on the outside table, where it usually is when I don't have guests- I smoke farther away from the house, out in the yard, and don't leave the ashtray in sight of non-smoking guests. They know I smoke, they just don't have to see it or smell it. I don't share a bathroom with my guests, but if I did, I wouldn't leave my false tooth flipper out on the bathroom counter, like I do in my own bathroom. If we're not willing to change a few things about our ways and our homes so guests of all stripes will feel comfortable, we shouldn't be home hosting, at least not to anyone who doesn't share our way of life.

[Bryan186]

Hi Sarah, I think you made your point. I don’t believe your analogies apply in your latest post and would encourage you to seek to understand and stopping while you’re ahead before equating every bad household habit to the item in question.