How do I know which guests to accept?

[Robin4]

I posted a thread a couple of years ago entitled ‘How to handle those difficult reviews’ which, funnily enough, is still popping up and is continuing to get likes!

That thread dealt with how to handle the review situation once the guest had left….

This one revolves around how to handle the situation before the guest arrives.

My experience has seen guest inquiries fall into two distinct camps. I used to think there was a grey area where guests could be pleasant and demure when booking, but become aggressive and demanding once they arrived. But when I looked back over those booking requests the signs were there that the guest would be difficult….and overly long request message….. a tale about themselves and their history…an innocent question or two.

Guests fall into two camps…… passive/complimentary, or aggressive/demanding!

1/. By far the best reservation message will be that which will simply say…..”Your property looks lovely and we can’t wait to stay”! It’s generally an IB (Instant Book) it is short, simple and complimentary, and whether it comes as a reservation request or an IB message, it tells me all I need to know, and I know this guest will be wonderful to host. This guest falls into the passive/complimentary camp. They don’t want to ask a heap of questions. They have studied what is on offer, have no further comment and simply want to pull out the credit card, and stay. I don’t even bother to look at their profile, they have told me, I am in for a nice experience.

2/. Where I start to have an issue is where the guest leads off their request with a question! “We are coming to Mt Barker for a wedding at 'Bird in Hand' winery, the wedding is at 4.00 pm, what time can we check-in?” Now, already they are ‘pushing the choke’ ….my house rules say, check-in is from 2.00pm, but they feel maybe, this is a time that is open to negotiation! It is….. but not before we have exchanged pleasantries. I will check a guest in at any time they want, within limits, I don’t want to have it thrust on me as an opening line! It’s the way the request is formed! By opening up the conversation like this I know that a series of questions are going to follow….off street parking…..WiFi allowance…..cooking…….a friend or two over for a drink…and all the time my personal hosting island is shrinking and their personal guest island is expanding! All of these questions could have been answered if they had not just been seduced by the pictures but, actually took the time to read the listing description.  

I want to do a lot more digging around before I accept a request or an IB like that……I want to see what their history with other hosts has been like.

Guests questions are a form of haggling, and we all know what hagglers are like. How often have you been stuck behind one in the supermarket express lane while they haggle with the check-out chick over some item in a catalogue that William Caxton possibly ran off with the first printing press!!  Hagglers are not like a fine bottle of red, they do not improve as they go along. Their demands become more strident until you will do anything just to get them out of your life. Questions and hagglers I have learned, are one in the same!

When a reservation request comes in, study every word because the decision you make at this point could be one of the best, or one of the worst you ever make.

3/. Look for hidden meanings behind the request. ……

A/……”Myself and my partner are looking for a quiet night away and your place looks perfect, we will self check-in about 6.30pm and leave early the next morning”! In other words they do not want any personal contact, it’s an after work hours arrival, her profile lists her as relatively local…well, in the same town, and there is a strong probability that this is a clandestine work affair. When someone is not prepared to list their significant other by name or title….I smell a rat!  

B/….. The request is for a Friday night and is worded along the lines of…..”I am coming to town to catch up with a couple of family members; your place is fairly central and looks ideal for us to get together for a quiet catch up!”……really, Friday night, a get together…this has got party written all over it.

Guests talk in riddles, and you have to probe behind the words.

Once again I am not putting myself out there as an authority but, I felt, once I passed 300 hostings I had built up a reasonably sound profile to sort out the good guests from the poor guests….and it has only let me down twice.

I hope this can help someone!

Cheers.....Rob

[Ricardo85]

@Robin4

Couldn´t find "How to handle those difficult reviews". Please, could you provide the link?

Thanks,

Ricardo

[Robin4]

@Ricardo85

Hello Ricardo, Here is the link to my original  post regarding the review process....

https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Hosting/How-to-handle-those-difficult-reviews/m-p/298189#M69017

Regarding what I would do in both of those scenarios, I would seek a lot more clarification as to why it needed my property for this nights stay........ and not theirs!

I do not decline a lot of reservation requests .....maybe 4-5 per year, but as I said, I look at them closely, at the wording of them.

My hosting has been wonderful to me Ricardo, I have had a lot of truly memorable experiences but, once I establish that I have a guest I feel comfortable with, I pull out all the stops to make sure they have a nice stay......and so far, it has worked for me

Cheers.......Rob

[Ricardo85]

@Robin4

Great post!

How do you deal with (A) and (B)?

Ricardo

[Jennifer1421]

Thanks for your sage advice, @Robin4! I've only been hosting for a few months, and find these forums to be a wonderful resource - your calm and well-reasoned posts being some of my favourites.

On your point (2) above:  I just posed the same question to my partner yesterday asking why guests feel that their introductory message is an appropriate time to ask, "What's the earliest we can check in, and the latest we can check out?", when these times are clear in the listing. We're currently living with the results of accepting a request with these questions (though weren't able to accommodate extra time at either end), and learning from it. I'm just drafting my first negative review. (Thanks for the link to your post on difficult reviews, btw! Very timely) .

[Robin4]

@Jennifer1421

I was a real greenhorn when I came here at the end of 2015 Jennifer! For the first few months I just observed what other said, not wanting to make a fool of myself.  I found out how to contact help when I needed it, I found out all sorts of things about how the platform runs, and I have a lot of wonderful people who were here then to thank for helping me. I have done ok because of this community centre, and if there is some way I can pay that forward....that makes me feel great!

All the best!

Cheers.......Rob

[Jeanette37]

Hi Jennifer.  Yes, I agree with you that it's frustrating that guests seem to choose NOT to read a host's listing.  This would answer a lot of questions that they may have and at the very least tell them what to expect in the way of facilities, location etc.  I have had to send a defensive review to more than one guest because they chose to criticise me for something which, if they'd read my listing, would have known.  For example one recent guest had the gaul to say that I didn't have WiFi!  Really???  If they'd read my listing they would have known that and if it was so important to them, why didn't they choose a property accordingly???  That's like rocking up to accommodation in the high country and bagging the host for saying that they didn't have a view of a beach!  My place is only $45/night and without huge improvements at great expense to management which m/ment can't afford, they're only going to get what they've paid for.  I get tired of guests expecting Hilton facilities at a backpacker price.

[Emilia42]

@Robin, I agree 100%. A guest who instant books with a message of "coming with boyfriend, Mike, to enjoy a concert in the area. So excited to stay in your place, it looks beautiful" is my favorite guest. I rarely hear from them afterwards, they stay, enjoy, and then leave a great review.

I recently had a guest who told me they would be arriving in the morning. I said it doesn't quite work like that and once they agreed to check in at the allowed time I thought I was in the clear. But they left the place so disorganized and dirty that I had to write them a less than favorable review.

[Robin4]

@Emilia42

Hi Emilia, unfortunately you can't put an experienced head on inexperienced shoulders and most of us have to learn the hard way. But every time it happens we put it in the memory banks and remember to look for those 'red lights' next time.

This is where this community is so good, every day I learn something here, and if there is something any of us can say that will help other hosts or guests, then that's great!

Cheers......Rob

[Diana320]

Robin, 

I enjoyed your posting.  It makes sense to me and resonates with my own experience.  Currently have a demanding renter asking for things....and they kept getting bigger until my husband finally said, "enough!"  

And I can see that the signs were there from the first contact.  Thanks for your sharing your experience.  

Sincerely,

Diana

[Jeanette37]

Hi Rob.  Yes, I found myself laughing about your experiences.  I agree that you get to "sus" your guests out according to (sometimes at least) the messages that they send you!  That message about self check-in and be gone by the morning (no attention required lol) does suggest a couple who are spending the night together and shouldn't be or just that they are very private people and just don't want to be disturbed.

[Robin4]

@Jeanette37

I put that one in there because, the few times it has happened to me, the affection is directed at each other rather than the care of my property, and the cottage takes considerably more servicing. Every towel will be used, a makeshift meal will be prepared and consumed with everything I provide......a bottle of wine will disappear from the rack, the odd breakage will happen and the bed linens will require substantial  attention with the 'Sards Wonder soap'!!

Apart from the money Jeanette, all I require is a bit of care and respect for the property,  and I have learned, that is not something I can expect from star crossed lovers! :-))

Cheers......Rob

[Jeanette37]

Absolutely it is and I see what you mean.  Yes staying at a private home primarily is about mutually agreeing to (host) providing a bed for the night in clean comfortable surroundings according to price and description of property and (guest) not trashing the place or making demands that can't be met.  One can just picture the above scenario unfolding as each "thing" happened and yes, it can mean that the guests don't care for the property.  It's sad to think that there are some people around who just don't believe in looking after something that's not theirs.  I regularly have guests stay that just have no concept of what staying in a private home is about.  They expect that I can just do as they ask and it's not going to happen with every request.

[Huma0]

@Robin4I definitely think you are onto something with the passive/complimentary, versus aggressive/demanding thing. You can tell a lot about someone from the way they decide to word that opening message.

However, I have to disagree that guests who ask questions are going to be trouble and those that don't aren't. This hasn't been my experiece.

Re asking questions, it depends what they ask and how they ask it. Yes, often times they are asking questions that make it clear they have not read the listing, but then at least I am instantly alerted to that fact and, if I turned away every guest who didn't read the listing before contacting me, I think I would have to simply shut up shop!

If they start off by asking for things outside of my stated parameters, e.g. early check in, late check out, storing luggage etc. then they may well turn out to be demanding, irritating guests. However, there are just as many guests who message with perfectly reasonable questions and turn out to be perfectly reasonable guests. 

Also, seeing that they will be staying with me, in my own home, I think it's only polite for the guest to tell me something about themselves and the purpose of their visit. I'm not running a hotel and I want to know who will be staying with me. The fact that a guest doesn't recognise this is often a red flag in my experience.

So, the guest who simply writes something like "We are looking forward to staying in your beautiful home," does not particularly inspire confidence. Firstly, it shows me they have not read my house rules, nor my booking message because, if they had, they would be telling me who they are travelling with, the purpose of their visit and their arrival time and confirming they had read the listing/house rules.

For example, my current guests instant booked and sent this as their opening message: "Good evening,
We are a young Belgian couple and we are looking forward to rest in your beautiful apartment :)" Athough I went back to them asking them to confirm they had read the listing/agreed to the house rules, on check in, they seemed taken aback to discover that I live here. If they had read the listing, they would know this. Also, I'm not sure who they think looks after the cats!! Although the girl reluctantly said it was "okay", her face was telling a different story. Not a good start.

My ony three star review came from my least favourite, most unpleasant and demanding guests. They also send an initial message exactly along the lines that you describe. They were far from wondeful to host. Perhaps we are just attracting very different kinds of guests, but I don't place any weight on that kind of message. Unpleasant people are perfectly capable of giving compliments when they want something, i.e. to book my listing. I also check reviews for every single guest regardless of their opening message. Someone can send a lovely message but turn out to have terrible reviews.

[Kira32]

This information is very helpful thank you so much!

I was dealing with a difficult person today. He wrote, "hey I'm. ..., Regarding to your very nice  reviews I would like to book for the following nights ... I hope that the location is not disappointing". The last sentence already puts me a bit off but ok... 

Next day I received an email from Airbnb that says;

'Because we didn't receive payment from the guest, the reservation request has been automatically declined'

Meanwhile I accepted his second request but he still didn't complete the booking. 

I often have people who wants to pay the price of 1 person instead of 2 guests, so I always ask, are you planning to come alone or are you bringing someone with you? This was his reaction: 'Eh???? Now I don't understand. I would be happy to bring someone but I have been living/traveling alone for the past 18 years.' 

The 24hours the timeframe accepted request was over. So he said, I want to change my booking for less days. Me: no problem I accepted his request again and then I've got a strange message......

He said: 'Hi Kira,
To put things straight. I am a man and I hope you are a woman, and that there is nothing implicit about this.
I am trying to book a good room because I need a place to stay nothing else.

'I cancelled his request and you know why?  My gut feeling said: please do not let him in your home.

Im just saying, always go by your gut feeling and especially when people are a bit dodgy. 

❤💕 It will lead you the way💕❤

💕Love💕

💕Kira💕