Poop, dumping and more - what would you have done?

[Cari3]

I have been host for almost 5 years and have 3 airbnb's in my backyard which is a small urban farm.  Two of them share an outdoor composting toilet and shower.  I recently had 2 ladies in their late 60's book one of them.  They arrived around 11.00pm and made a racket loud enough to wake up the neighbors and other guests.  Even though they were in the bottom of the garden, I could hear them from my house.  I was about to get out of bed when the noise quieted down.  Next morning I was up early watering the garden and headed down to check on their toilet when I see the door is wide open and there is a bum being wiped (in full view of all my other guests and the street).  I retreated but noticed that next thing she sat down and did her morning business still with the door wide open and then another full-view wiping session ensued.  I went down there to take care of checking the toilet only to find there was a pile of poop which had been stood in on the floor, and down the front and around the toilet (which had been poorly wiped).  I cleaned it all, washed and sanitized the bathroom because I knew that one of my other guests would be heading down that way soon and went to discuss toilet hygiene with them and tell them that as their host I would never expect to have to deal with poop.   Next thing, 3x times before 7am, I had to head down to ask the offending pooper to please lower her voice because if I could hear her speaking in the house, then my other guests and neighbors could most certainly hear her too.  The lady whose name the booking is in (awfully sweet) left for a long day of training while the pooper stayed all day.  A bit paranoid about the state of the shared toilet I kept checking during the day.  The pooper could simply NOT follow simple instructions to sprinkle the provided sawdust over her doings to prevent flies, nor could she remember to latch the toilet door which kept blowing open (signs up for both these things). I tried speaking to her, made no difference.  Later I messaged the booking lady about the issues of keeping noise down, following toilet instructions and latching doors.  The next day I was mowing the lawns when I noticed the pooper had put a bucket right in front of the shared shower.  If I was a guest, from where it was placed,  I would have thought the shower was out of commission or closed for maintenance.  I moved the bucket back to their airbnb and next thing it had been moved to block the shower again.  I explained why I'd wanted it moved but it made no difference, she just put it back.  Later in the day I saw her wondering with a bowl around the garden and next thing she dumped something in one of my containers....turns out it was a bunch of food scraps which I had to get out and dispose of properly.   I have to be especially vigilant about doing anything that invites vermin or flies so I provide a compost bin (marked as such and in the house rules).  I just can't have people dumping food scraps wherever they please.  I have to think about the conditions it breeds for all my guests.  That night I asked the booking lady if we could have a chat and I went through all the house-rules her friend was breaking and how she appeared to have a total inability to take the needs of others into account.  She agreed that it was unacceptable but said that her friend had lost her mother and was 'an extreme version of herself' and that she would be leaving on Aug 1st.  I agreed that if she spoke to her that I would do my best to be empathetic and hang in until the 1st.  But oh Lordy.....at 6am the next morning I again had to go rushing down there because she was speaking at volume 200!  That was the last straw for me.  Clearly she had a total inability to either 'hear' or reform her behavior.  They were booked through to August 9th.

I asked them if they could find a different place that was more conducive to the poopers emotional state for the 4 days and offered to:

1) to refund the booking lady for the remaining 4 nights that her friend would still be with her so they could pay for alternative accommodation

2) for her to leave anything she wanted in the airbnb which would then be waiting to welcome her back on Aug 1st

They did find another place, I no sooner refunded them when then they cancelled the rest of the booking, so they scored.   But seriously....how do you deal with a situation like this one? I'm just totally stymied and how do you even begin to rate or write a review because it's a review that's going to impact the sweet booker's name?

[Alexandra316]

@Lawrene0might be able to help out here, as I know she had a somewhat similar experience...

@Cari3I don't even know what to say: the pooper sounds like an awful guest. Hopefully the rest of your guests and neighbor are able to see the funny side and/or are quick with the mind bleach... 

Although the main booker isn't wholly responsible for her friend's behavior, I feel like something should be said. She could have talked with the friend herself. Also, if a potential guest sees a negative review (if they give you one) and goes digging, they will be able to see your review of them and get your side of the story.

I would say something like:

"Although X was a very sweet guest, her friend Y who accompanied her did not follow our rules, despite going over them several times. Her behavior negatively impacted the experience of our other guests, and as a result, we had to ask Y to leave early."

Just the facts, and not too much detail. 

[Cari3]

Thanks Alexandra - I think your advice not to give too much detail makes a lot of sense.  Also, if she does give me a negative review....well that is most definitely when my reply which will be posted with her review will include many more details that paint a very clear picture for anyone reading the review.  

[Alexandra316]

@Cari3 I would just add, I actually wouldn't say that I would host X without Y. Why? because maybe she has a string of bizarre, unstable friends who she also won't check if they get up to mischief. Who can say?

[Kelly149]

@Alexandra316 yep, as someone who is frequently embarassed by and responsible for my children, this is part of the deal. If you bring the person, they are you by extension for the event

[Alexandra316]

@Kelly149 Ha! I have the same thing, but with my dogs. You bring 'em, you deal with the consequences!

[Emiel1]

@Cari3 

The story of the booker and the pooper...it reads like a film title !

As described i see you were handling the situation with an "Oh, not again" attitude , but every time still trying to make the best of it. But at some point it is enough.

It seems to me the guest's friend did not cause the problems on purpose, but suffers from issues related to age and/or temporary mental condition. The primary guest itself was fine ? So why not give here a nice review.

I think both ladies will themself make the conclusions from their (cancelled) stay and think twice before booking again a place in the countryside ?

Best regards,
Emiel

[Cari3]

Thanks for your thoughts - PS.  Never thought about a film title but I think one could have an awfully interesting TV series based on airbnb stories!  LOL.  I do think I need to mention that the guest she brought was problematic and mention that I would be more than willing to host the booker again so long as it didn’t mean I had to have the pooper too:)

[Kath9]

Hahaha @Emiel1, The Booker and the Pooper. Could be a documentary about being an Airbnb host!

However, I do have to disagree with your advice. I believe bookers do have to take responsibility for whoever they bring with them. @Cari3, that sounds like a complete nightmate and you should definitely review appropriately to warn other hosts in case she decides to bring the same friend along. As  @Alexandra316 said, she should have spoken with her friend rather than making excuses for her. And yes it is possible that mental health issues were playing into this - but frankly if thats the case, you shouldnt book shared accommodation. 

I would wait until the 11th hour to review in the hopes they don't review you. Then say something like 'X was a great guest, but her friend Y continually broke house rules and her extremely loud, antisocial and unhygienic behaviour went unaddressed, despite me talking about it with X on several occasions. Unfortunately, I had to ask these guests to leave early, for which they were offered a full refund, because Y's behaviour was causing a problem for other guests. I recommend X as a guest, but cannot recommend her if she is bringing Y.'

1 star for cleanliness (poop all over the toilet and floor, really?) And whatever you think for communication and house rules. And a thumbs down for recommending her so she can't instant book with the same friend.

[Cari3]

Cleanliness is definitely a 1-star.  I’ve just finished cleaning for the arrival of my next guest....an unreported broken cup, it was filthy and I found where the trodden on poop was wiped (under one of the mats - loverly)!  I gather from the booker that the pooper is a grade school friend of hers who she hasn’t seen in many years who now lives abroad and came back for her mom’s funeral and as the booker was already booked here (in another one of my airbnb’s that was for solo travelers only) for this training course, I had availability in the other 2-person one so made that switch when she asked if she could bring this friend of hers.   Frankly, I would be surprised if the booker gave me a bad review.  I think she felt bad about everything.  Now if the pooper was reviewing me it would be a different story.

So to be fair, I think the booker really didn’t know what the pooper was really like and maybe she did address it but had as little luck as I did in getting her to modify her behavior.  But I really do like this line:   ‘I recommend X as a guest, but cannot recommend her if she is bringing y”

[Kelly149]

@Cari3   If ever a listing called for some pre-arrival vetting this might be it:

shared composting toilet on a working farm?!?

that screams pre-booking message to confirm that allllllll guests understand what they’re in for and how you expect them to behave, especially if you let people book for longer term stays. 

Good luck!! And good riddance!

oh, and I think @Alexandra316 review is spot on

[Cari3]

Thanks Kelly....well it’s not really a working farm, it’s a small urban farm...and what I mean by that is that we have chickens, bees, an orchard, and grow our own veggies.  So it’s very low key.    I would agree that it needed pre-arrival vetting if I hadn’t had these airbnb’s for a number of years and honestly most guests are totally awesome. So having a guest like the pooper is definitely the exception and not the rule.

[Lawrene0]

All good advice, @Cari3 ! As @Alexandra316 says, I did have something similar. Pile of, etc. Gagging in solidarity.

Just the one rustic listing, so I didn't have other guests at the same time who had to be witnesses, thank goodness. A couple of raccoons may have seen it, but they can't get high and mighty about messes. 

Nearly everyone who books a rustic place that features a sawdust composting toilet handles it all beautifully. Cleaner than folks using inside facilities, and maybe that is because it isn't as mindless a process.

So I'm lucky.

It's just those few, and I suspect they are the same lot that use the commuter train facilities just before me each time I'm in the big city...

You did everything right, I think. Mine were here only a weekend. Like yours, it wasn't just the horrific toileting. When they are that disrespectful, they do other horrific things, too. I didn't want them back, and I wanted no other hosts to have to deal with their getaway sprees. They did not review me, and immediately after my review was posted, their account was closed. I do not know whether it was by them, or by the system because of the low stars and thumbs down.

@Kelly149 , pre-vetting is important, but guests always tell me they are experienced backcountry campers. Always. I bet they tell Cari that, too. You wouldn't believe how many "backcountry campers" with wheeled luggage there are out there. Also, all their dogs are well-trained. Every one. 😉

[Cari3]

Hi Lawrene ....... I’m sorry you had to gag in solidarity!  And I’m wiling to bet that my raccoons and possums could add their fair share of stories to what I’m sure will be a smash hit airbnb documentary:  The booker and the pooper!  I agree with this totally:  “Nearly everyone who books a rustic place that features a sawdust composting toilet handles it all beautifully. Cleaner than folks using inside facilities, and maybe that is because it isn't as mindless a process.”  But like you I AM constantly amazed at how many huge wheeled suitcases (they’re coming for 2 days) and high-heel ‘campers’ who are worried about bugs because the windows aren’t completely screened find their way to this rustic spot:). 

[Sarah977]

@Cari3 @Lawrene  It's amazing how many magical thinkers there are out there. They must get their ideas about how romantic a "rustic" place will be from the movies. Maybe they think if they order some hiking clothes from LL Bean they now qualify as backcountry hikers.

puerto Vallarta, the nearest city to me, about 45 minute drive, was just a sleepy fishing village until John Houston filmed "Night of the Iguana" there, which changed it to a destination tourist resort. You never saw Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton swatting mosquitoes or saying "Don't even think about touching me- it's way too hot and humid for that."