Should I refund after guest canceling a non-refundable booking

[Ning6]

So I am new to the non-refundable bookings and my policy has always been flexible. But lately I have had two cancellations requesting a refund after they cancelled their non refundable bookings. The first one cancelled a few days before she checked in and it was my first time so I refunded her most of her money. The second one stayed for one day of his one month booking. His reasons are:

- the house is next to a road(corner lot in a community so next to a road in a suburb community, not like busy areas etc)

- my other guest came back after midnight( but she went straight to her bed without making much noise at all). He said that hotels don't even allow guests to check in after 11pm. 

- My place is cold, that he had to wear wool insulation layers and sleep under two thick duvets to warm up. But my place is kept at 21 degrees, unless he has the windows wide open, I don't know how he requires so much layers. 

We were a little annoyed by him because as soon as he checked in, he roamed the whole house, when to check all the rooms including our basement suite (3 times) which has nothing to do with his room on the second floor and asked if he can workout(may be doing jumping jacks?) in the basement. We were totally fine with him using the main living room on the main floor and second floor but said no to him using basement as it was set up for other guest as a whole unit. He asked if he can use our oil and condiments for cooking and we said yes to condiments and oil depends on how much cooking he's planning to do in his one months of stay. He said that he's going to be in the living room a lot and we said that's ok since it is for guests to enjoy. Anyway, there were a lot of requirements and a lot of comments from him. 

He's saying that after he canceled his stay at our place, he went to stay in a hotel for a week. Now he has decided to stay in the hotel for another month, plus the cost of car rental, it is a lot of money, which probably would lead to him changing his original plan of staying in the city for two months to one month. All because of booking my place.

I feel bad for telling him that I wont be able to refund as I don't see no fault on my part and he did book a non-refundable booking. But I also want to self check my unconscious bias that is it because we were a little annoyed by him so that we don't want to refund him?

Just want to know what other hosts think about this whole non-refundable booking situation as I am sure I will get asked more by guest who booked non refundable due to the discount yet still want a refund when they do actually cancel. 

[Pat271]

A non-refundable reservation should be handled the same way as a non-refundable airline ticket, a non-refundable hotel booking, or a non-refundable car rental.  It’s non-refundable.  If the guest doesn’t have insurance to cover whatever his/her reasons are for not showing up or leaving early, he/she is out the money.  The guest paid a cheaper price gambling that nothing would go wrong.  Sometimes things go wrong.  Such is life with non-refundable reservations.

[Sarah977]

@Ning6  Why would you choose the non-refundable policy and then refund? That makes zero sense. Why give guests the idea that they can choose that option, which gives them a 10% discount, only to turn around and pretend like you never had that policy? Please don't do this- this kind of behavior just hurts all hosts, as guests think they can do whatever they want and get away with it.

You are running a business, not a charity. There is no reason for you to feel bad for sticking to what a guest agreed to when they booked. Their personal issues and change of plans aren't your affair to pander to. You are being taken advantage of and allowing it.

[David5641]

@Ning6 the best answer is refunds are always the discretion of the host. Regardless what your cancellation policy is, or if the guest opted for the non-refundable discount, you can always refund the guest should you feel it. There's no penatly in refunding the guest outside of your policy.

[Steven614]

I’ve run into a shorter issue with a guest who claimed to be ill w some GI issue. However I don’t know if he booked via non refundable or my moderate policy. I mistakenly thought all the guests were getting the discount. But I see now they can choose between the two.  
personally I would not give a free cancellation to a discounted reservation unless the guest was very nice and had a circumstance.  I allowed this guest to cancel one night via alteration which allowed the night to open up.  I have another who cancelled after booking saying she could not get time off work and I offered her only 25 percent off the fee. The reservation never changed and got taken off so now I won’t offer back anything. And the nights are blocked still which means I expect to be paid for them whether or not she shows up - in full. Since the discount refund was offered presuming they were going to open the nights up again.