I think there needs to be some education on what non-refundable means and what the different cancellation policies mean, both here and on other airline, car, and accommodations platforms.
There are only certain exceptions in which a platform’s policy can be officially revoked. In the case of Airbnb, the death of a family member is not one of them. Here is the list of extenuating circumstances that can lead to some type of refund. Your exact situation is listed as one of the circumstances that are not covered.
https://www.airbnb.com/help/article/1320/
Shaming hosts and companies (calling them unacceptable, disgusting, etc.) for honoring and adhering to platform policies is not constructive, just as it isn’t constructive when dealing with all of the other airline, car, and hotel platforms when specific cancellation policies are set. It is no different just because a guest has more direct dealings with a host. The policies are the policies.
If a host is feeling especially altruistic, and doesn’t mind losing income that sometimes runs into thousands of dollars, they might refund you in cases like this, or if the trip is far enough in advance, they might be able to reschedule your trip for a later date. Just keep in mind that this would be a bending-over-backwards favor on the part of the host, and should not be the normal expectation of a guest.
I agree with you that if you book with Airbnb or any other platform, you need to be careful. Read the cancellation policies carefully, and if you need more flexibility, either purchase the trip insurance you are offered when you book, or find an accommodation that has more flexible policies. They do exist on Airbnb. Here is the list of current policies:
https://www.airbnb.com/help/article/475
I do sympathize with your disappointment that you only got a partial refund, and I understand that it feels unfair. It happened to me once a long time ago before I was a host, and I somehow assumed that cancellations would work the same way as hotels. But hotels have hundreds of accommodations, available per night - hosts typically only have 1. So hotels won’t even feel it if there is a cancellation, whereas hosts will lose, in this particular case, a full week’s worth of income. That’s why the policies are the way they are, not because hosts and Airbnb are cold and heartless.
I know something like this is hard to deal with, on top of dealing with the grief of losing your family member. Have you tried asking the host to reschedule your visit? If that’s not an option, at least talk to the host about helping you out with more of a refund if the host rebooks any of the cancelled dates. Many hosts are open to that option.