Host decided to "donate" a box addressed to ex guest without telling them

[Ugo765]

What would you do?

I was on a work trip to the UK around mid-November 2021 and had booked a one month stay with an Aribnb super host. During my stay I can't think of anything that went wrong with the host, all was normal and ok. I mostly kept to myself and work as I had a lot of things to get done in that month. however, I did notice that someone did go through my stuff when I went out to work on the second day of my stay, that was really annoying because it happened right after I introduced myself (what I do, my nationality etc) and a bit of small talk in the Kitchen. anyway, I got past that quick & this is not my issue.

I purchased a pair of leather shoes online from a relatively well-known brand that's based in the Netherlands, they were £208. I received them a few days later at the host's address after asking for their permission.

long story short about the shoes, they were nice but didn't fit me at all, too narrow so I decided to return them, went online downloaded all forms and followed return instructions that came with it and sent it back International Signed & Tracked with Royal Mail. two months went by and I never got a refund, when tracked it just says "pending as customs" in the Netherlands.

Before I left the host's place, I asked if I can leave an empty Apple Macbook box and a router device with her untill my next visit because my work gave me these but I only unboxed them when I was back at home (Airbnb) and then couldn't go to the office to leave them anymore due to Covid cases and now I ran out of space in terms of luggage. She said "yes of course no problem" so that was nice of her.

anyway, as I said about the shoes, more than 2 months later still no refund as it was kept in customs then the item was sent back to the Airbnb I was staying at, I tried my best to stop them from sending it back to the UK but that didn’t work.

so exactly two weeks ago I got a text from the host saying she got a parcel in my name from the Netherlands, so I apologised to her and explained what happened and I said I’ll be in the UK soon and will come and collect it then along with the other stuff I left with her. However, I texted her yesterday saying can I come and pick it up on Tuesday next week, and she said “Hi, I haven’t heard from you so I donated it to a charity for Ukraine. Sorry”.

Don’t want to sound like a terrible person. but I’m so angry, of course, I care about what’s going on in Ukraine and anywhere else in the world where innocents are going through hard times, but I don’t understand how you could donate someone else stuff when they told you they will pick it up exactly 13 days ago?

I asked her for the charity name but she's was avoiding my question and instead asked me If I am still coming on Tuesday to collect my other items (which are clearly less valuable)

Eventually, after loads of messages, I got a charity name from her so I called them right away, the charity said we haven't received anything like that even I asked their email address so I can send a picture of the shoes but no they didn't see it and told me that all that we sent to Ukraine so far is bed linen, covers and coats and no shoes. 

I asked the charity to check with colleagues and ask them if anyone did come and ask for something back (because she (Airbnb host) told me she did but failed to get it back) and the charity shop said no they didn't have anyone asking about an item they donated, if that happened we'd all know as it's a small shop and this rarely happens in the community.

I am fuming because it doesn't look like she donated it, I'd feel better if she did but the whole thing says no she didn't, i.e:

* She avoided many texts asking her for the charity name until I mentioned I was going to take legal action against her for opening my mail.

* She conveniently left the less expensive item from her "donation"

* I specifically told her I was waiting for a refund and that I'll come and pick it up or have someone else do it as soon as I can but she went ahead and "donated" it anyway.

Any advice would be appreciated (even if you'd like to point where I was wrong).

PS. I tried to put myself in her shoes and no I wouldn't have done that, even if I didn't have the space or the patience, still I'd at least give notice or say something like hello just FYI I need this gone, so I'm going to dispose/donate this soon.

[Lorna170]

@Ugo765   I am sorry, but a host is not your mother, grandma or best friend.  We cannot be expected to store belongings until the "next time you visit".   However, I do think that in this particular instance this host should have held on to your items for you as she successfully contacted you about receiving the package and according to you, you told her specifically when you would be picking up the package (shoes), the empty box, router and other stuff you had left behind on your last visit.  

I am surprised that your host allowed you to receive a package at her address.  I tell my guests to have their personal mail delivered to the local post office and pick it up there.  I do not allow any mail or packages to come to my property.  If you had been my former guest and I received a package in your name, I would have either re-addressed to you at your real address (if I had that address from AirBnB) or sent it back to the sender as "person unknown".

I am also surprised that your work would allow you to leave their provided equipment with a third party (your host).  My work would have charged me with paying for the items or "theft" for leaving them behind.  I would have mailed or had them delivered to the office before I left the country.  I would not have left them with the host.

A good host will make an effort to return items.  But if you have no communication from the guest, donation is the usual course of action.

[Ugo765]

Thanks, @Lorna170. I have friends & family members who are hosts on Airbnb and they would have dealt with this differently (even differently to how you described you would), however, I totally get your point.

What are your thoughts about the agreement we (myself & the host) had in place? Also, I'm wondering why only one item was supposedly donated and not my other stuff?

I wouldn't want to compare you to this host, but would you have done the exact same thing? i.e ignore the word you gave to the guest and give away some of their items?

Just know I wouldn't have left anything if I could and/or if she had refused to help me at the time. I am only posting here because I am not sure what can be done.

she chose to donate one thing out of three items she's had and expects me to collect those other bits on Tuesday which doesn't make any sense to me in addition to the fact that the charity said they didn't receive the shoe and they wouldn't have sent it to Ukraine yet.

[Huma0]

@Ugo765 

Was all the communication with your host about the items done via the Airbnb messaging thread?

[Ugo765]

Unfortunately no, we've exchanged numbers so this conversation was via texts.

[Lorna170]

@Ugo765   Since she contacted you to tell you that she received a box, she should have kept it for you.  However, do you know if she received your text messages?  Did you immediately respond and tell her when you would come to pick the box and other items up?  If you did not contact her with a pick up date for several weeks after she told you the box was there, I understand why she donated the items.

Your host knew where she could donate the shoes.  She may not have known where to donate a router, so she still has it.  As to why the charity said they did not have the shoes, well, employees or volunteers also take things or the charity does not have the personnel to search for a single pair of shoes amongst all of the donations they are getting.

If I reach out to a guest about left behind items and I am able to communicate with them, I ask them where the items can be sent and the guest pays the postage via the Resolution Center.  I send them off immediately. I do not keep the items for weeks or months on end, nor do I wait for the guest to return at some date in the far off future to retrieve them UNLESS BOOKED.  

If I cannot reach the guest at all and after making several tries through the OTA, I will message the guest through the platform that their items will be donated if I do not hear by X date.   The end.

[Ugo765]

I did contact her within a couple of hours after her initial text and she replied to my message all on the same day the returned parcel arrived at hers. As for your comment on how she knew where to donate a shoe, keep in mind I never told her what was inside the box, I don't know where you live but it is illegal in the UK to open someone else's mail without consent. Anyway thanks for your input @Lorna170 

[Sarah977]

@Ugo765  As you describe the situation, it doesn't sound like you did anything wrong. You asked the host if they would let you leave some things and they agreed. And you informed her of the package that would arrive (which you tried to cancel, but it didn't work out that way) and she indicated she'd keep it for you. 

No one knows what she actually did with the shoes. But she went back on what she had told you, that she would keep them, apparently.

The problem is, the host is not legally bound to honor what she promised. Even if the arrangements had been discussed on the Airbnb messaging system, so there was documention to refer to, Airbnb isn't going to force her to pay you for the shoes, nor are they going to reimburse you for them.

I'm afraid you're just going to have to chalk this up to a lesson learned, and not assume that just because a host tells you something verbally, that they are bound to follow through and that you shouldn't ask to leave things at an Airbnb nor have things delivered to the address. 

All Airbnb monitors is what pertains to your booking and the listing itself- once your booking is over,  any arrangements you make with a host are non-binding.