Need to do a mini-rant

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

Well......Henry just called me........FUMING........to let me know when he stepped out of his study around 11:30pm to go to the kitchen for some food, he was almost blinded by EVERY SINGLE LIGHT BLAZING in the kitchen + living room with our current guest sprawled on the sofa watching a movie on his laptop. Dishes from the dinner he cooked and ate (several hrs ago) were still piled up in the sink and because he didn't wash the coffee cup properly before setting it on the dish drying rack there was a ginormus coffee stain on the drip dry rack where we place CLEAN dishes. 

Henry isn't really a talker or a people person (I usually handle this part of the hosting responsibilities) and he told me he didn't trust himself to be "nice" so he just took a "lead by example" approach by turning all the lights in the kitchen off, turned off half of the lights in the living room, placed the dirty coffee cup back in the sink with the guest's other dirty dishes, cleaned the stain on the dish rack....... then got a bag of chips and a beer which he took back to the study........ and then he ranted while I listened. (I've been totally swamped at work and wasn't able to go home this weekend..... boohoo~) 

Henry's last words today......... I'd rather we have an empty room for 4 months than host another european male in his 20s ever again~!!!!!!! 

I can't say I blame him. Sigh~~~~~~~~

Mini-rant over. 

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Ann

I have 2 sisters who were TAs while studying in the U.S. (one is still studying but switched to an RA position recently) and when they heard I was considering hosting one of the first things they told me was to "avoid male American guests in their 20s like the PLAGUE" and fortunately I haven't had a single inquiry from a male American guest ever 🙂 

[Marit-Anne0]

@Jessica-and-Henry0 

Up until now they have been living at Hotel Mamma 🙂

[Suzanne302]

@Jessica-and-Henry0 

I know you were ranting but this post made me laugh. 🙂 Poor Henry! I feel his pain because I'm like him in that I do not enjoy confrontation when a guest is misbehaving, but since it's just me, I'm stuck!

You guys could have the whole "good cop bad cop" thing going that might work! LOL!

[Cathie19]

I have to say @Jessica-and-Henry0 , I do feel your pain!  But in this case, I have to support the male species in their twenties, if only from my personal experiences. 

I’ve luckily, not had horror stories from my booking male guests. In fact I am thinking of two Swiss fellows, and a girlfriend, who arrived later in their trip. The men left the space, possibly the tidiest if all my guests. I was flabbergasted at how tidy and clean they left it. 

However, other mixed groups, or a couple of girls, were messier than the blokes. I think it’s personality & upbring rather then gender. 

But hugs to you both..... PS: you better buy some more salt and vinegar chips for Henry! 

[Sarah977]

@Cathie19  Yes, I've found that while young women tend to be tidier and cleaner than young men, messy girls can be way worse than messy guys. They usually have far more "products" that they drip, splash and spill all over, more clothing strewn around,  and leave far more hair everywhere. To see them dressed to go out, freshly showered, their hair perfectly styled, their make-up flawless, their clothing cute and fashionable, you'd never guess they lived in squalor.

[Cathie19]

Too true @Sarah977, I’ve seen this myself! 

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Sarah977  @Cathie19 @Sandra126 @Marit Anne

I know all too well about how messy girls can be...... I was 1 of 3 🙂 and we all had looooong~ dark hair. Growing up my room looked like a fight happened in there most of the time but my mom's rule was "don't let your mess spill out of your room" - my sisters and I had to keep everything IN our respective rooms. My mom rarely entered our rooms to start with - we were taught to either learn to be clean or live with the mess you make. We could be as messy and unorganized as we wanted in our own rooms......never ever in shared family spaces. I think I started to become better at keeping things relatively tidy in my room in my 30s....... but Henry still complains A LOT about how messy I am. 

Fyi, all Korean men face mandatory military service of about 22 months (used to be 2~3 yrs) so most Korean men seem to KNOW how to be tidy up and follow rules, it's more a matter of do I WANT/HAVE to. Henry says Korean women should do military service too, even if it's only to teach them how to clean up after themselves 🙂 

I would like to clarify our current guest and other male guests were never the most messiest guests but their messes were the most disrespectful types of messes that affected shared spaces. And when we casually bring up or suggest how we'd prefer things or how we think things should be done in the shared areas, it's the way (attitude) they respond and act AFTER that is the problem. We honestly don't care if the guest bedroom and bath are messy, if there are clothes strewn all over, make up cluttering the shelves...... we just vaccum the floors once a week and change the sheets once every 2 weeks and that's it. 

[Mary703]

I have found one of the best solutions is to do only short stays. It seems that once you've gone to 3+ days there is a level of comfort, that usually equates to mess. My last 3 day stay from a 20 yr old male ended in frosted flakes all around the room (I think the box had at some point taken flight in the air), taco sauce stain on the wool carpet, and coffee spills on my hardwood floor (where it looks like the cup didn't quite make the nightstand). 

However, to those moms out there who have the 20 yr old sons, I have had many lovely guests in that age range, who make the bed, take out their own trash, and are extremely courteous, as well as they don't have the "princess" demands a 20 yr old girl might have, lol. The Host reviews are extremely helpful!

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Mary703  @Linda-And-Richard0 

Unfortunately we target long-term exchange student guests so we don't do many short stays and we can't avoid millennials 🙂 

Henry prefers not to have someone new every 2~3 days a repeated cycle of strangers passing thru would be a nightmare for us..... Henry and I both have full time jobs so we would not be able to juggle that kind of turnaround schedule. 

[Linda-And-Richard0]

My one and only time renting to millennials was for a "business trip" group.  I found banana peel on my wool carpet.  A sliced watermelon, uncovered, dripping juice all over my fridge.  Wet towels on the wooden furniture and on the bed.  Kitchen counter covered in dirty dishes. NEVER AGAIN!!!

[Sandra126]

When my son was a teen he lived in a very messy room. Couldn't make him clean it up, no reward or punishment worked. So I said ''if you don't have the room clean by Friday I will take the door off.'' Privacy is the most important thing for a teen! Friday comes, the room looks the same. I unscrewed the hinges and removed the door.

Didn't have to do it again.

[Cathie19]

🤣🤣🤣oh @Sandra126 , so funny....

A friend’s husband one day had enough! Whilst his daughter was out, he picked up the unmade bed strewn with clothing, and turned the mattress and bedding upside down and left it. The daughter came home and was shocked. Dad stated it didn’t look any different, that I think he was improving it....

[J-Renato0]

Hello @Jessica-and-Henry0 

Complicated.. but funny story! 🙂

I do not know exactly how is your culture like. If it was me in the Henry´s place, I would have talk to the guy. It would be a frank and polite conversation! Before talking, I would offer him a cup of coffee to appear more friendly. But I would tell the truth, that his behaviour is unacceptable and he would have to change to continue his stay.

If he (Henry) can not talk to the bad guests and gets very angry.... it is not good for him! He must vent the anger... ... give him a punching bag! He can sock and kick it with no mercy to vent his anger 🙂

[Sarah977]

My oldest daughter was fastidious about her room- you never would have known a teenager lived in there. Everything was always tidy and organized, her clothing folded up like it is on the shelves of some high-end boutique, all color coordinated. She would seldom let her sisters even step foot in there. One day when it was her turn on dishwashing, I reminded her of that when she got home from school, then I had to go out grocery shopping. When I got home, she had gone out, but all the dirty dishes were still there unwashed. I carried them all up to her room (took several trips) and piled them up on her pristinely clean desk. She never forgot to do the dishes again.

It's cool how you can find ways as a parent to change behavior without ever raising your voice or getting into a battle of wills. @Sandra126 I LOVE the taking the door off the hinges. Totally brilliant.

[Sandra126]

@Sarah977, it is so easy to become a nagging parent to deaf teens. Such hard work and totally counterproductive. So sometimes a dramatic gesture will have good effect, or at least make them think. Not recommended for paying guests 🙂