This is a typical guest.

[Laura2592]

For those of you who have easier guests in general, I just wanted to share what a typical guest we get is like. I always blame it on the culture of the DC metro area, but who knows. Here is a recent example. 

Background: guest stayed for 3 nights. Was supposed to have her daughter come but her daughter backed out so it was just her. Was "upset" by the keypad lock. Called because she did not follow the instructions on how to unlock it and was in a panicked state. I walked her through, told her where to find the traditional key and how to use that instead of the keypad. Then a few questions about things in the house guide. Responded and re-directed to the house guide. (This is the second guest in a month who had keypad issues. But we have not had another all year. There must be something in the air.)

On check out day, my husband sends the following:

"We really hope you enjoyed your stay!

The check out instructions are in the house guidebook on the coffee table. 

Please let us know if anything ran out during your stay so that we can replace it for the next guest.

Safe travels and thanks again for staying!"

This is the response:

"Hi. Just loading the car now and about to leave a message. I AM getting a late start. Hate to leave! First and foremost thank you thank you ... it is such a lovely property.

The hand soap dispenser by the kitchen sink is about empty (Note, there is a big thing of soap very visible in the pantry but no big deal here.) Also I noticed the right arm on the bench needs to be glued back in. It looks like someone tried to use it to support themselves while putting on shoes etc. The next person attempting that might completely break it off? (Note, this bench has never had an issue. I sat on it right before this guest checked in and I dust it every time after the cleaners. It did indeed need gluing after this stay.)

Let's see. I ran the dishwasher. Never used the upstairs. The bathroom sink is emptying slowly (time for more Drano?). Same at home. "Someone" is sending me a message! (Aliens, perhaps?) Oh also the rod for the tub curtain (in the left back corner facing the tub) keeps slipping out. Maybe needs to be re-inserted using more force? I only bathed so not a problem.  (Note, this has happened on occasion with kids who have pulled too hard on the shower curtain. Its not a big deal but she was obviously pulling on it.) I sat outside and one of the rockers creaked a bit so I was worried and moved to the other. Your outdoor table does get dusty. I also noticed that there were insects in the garden.

I wonder if you have ever thought about linen sheets? They get softer every time you wash them. Your washing machine looks to be about 10 years old. I didn't use it but maybe its time to replace it? 

That's all that I can think of. Again many many thanks - time to drive out for the last time.

Regards...Typical Guest for Laura"

There is so much to unpack here. This guest was not nasty but...? I need a new washer? Yes there are insects outside. Linen sheets? I don't even have those on my bed at home. They would be awesome but they are quite pricey and this ain't the Ritz. Obviously there were some small damages here and there. But we did not ask about this. We asked if anything ran out. There was one item specified. 

This was not a problem person overall...

[Anonymous]

@Sarah977  Your typical guest experience sounds very similar to mine - I guess people who enthusiastically choose homestays for their vacations are a special niche. That said, the pandemic has changed these social dynamics so much, and my most beloved guests don't seem like the kind of people who would take a frivolous international trip and sleep in a stranger's house at a time like this. I might not resume hosting anytime soon -  husband sure does like having that extra room as his home-working space - but if I do, I guess the typical guest will be something quite different from what I was used to before 2020.

Thinking back on my recent experiences as a guest, I've found it pretty easy to overlook the minor flaws in a home because of the direct, in-person engagement I've had with the hosts. As all of us who enjoy spouting off on the internet know all too well, it's easier to be a critic of a stranger than of someone we've spent time with face to face.

[Sarah977]

@Anonymous  Yes, I haven't reopened yet either, but would like to soon. So I haven't had any experience of the "post pandemic" guests yet. I'm actually quite curious to see if I'll get something different than what I'm used to.

I'm definitely going to require guests to be vaccinated, so that will at least ensure no "other side" attitude guests.

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Anonymous @Sarah977 

Henry and I also have really gotten used to having the extra guest room as our space (home work space for me and extra storage for Henry) that while we do miss hosting, I don't think we'll be welcoming guests anytime soon..... 

I actually got an inquiry from an exchange student a few weeks ago~! 

She came to Seoul in August, completed the 2-week quarantine requirement upon arrival, and is fully vaccinated. She explained that she been in a tiny studio apartment on her own for about a month but the location is really noisy at night and she was looking for a place that felt more like *a home* to stay at for the remaining 4 months of her time in Korea. 

Henry and I thought about it and the initial message from her seemed okay, but the task of clearing out all of Henry's stuff (especially the new electronic drum set!!!!!) and doing a deep clean of the shared spaces (we've slacked off a bit on cleaning this past year 🤣🤣) was so stressful - and we really didn't want to spend all of Chuseok holiday cleaning - that we just replied that we aren't ready to re-open yet 😅

[Brian2036]

@Laura2592 @Sarah977 @Anonymous 

Most of our guests come from less than 200 miles away and consequently they are rarely hideously ignorant.

They know that we live in a wild, unspoiled natural environment and that’s why they come here.

 The few who are a problem always come from distant large cities. I don’t know why they come here and I wish they wouldn’t.

It’s almost always immediately obvious that they think whatever overcrowded nest of crime, grime and corruption they came from is the perfect place to live.

I don’t know if they come here just to sneer at the ignorant hillbillies or if they are so stupid that they imagine the whole continent is just one continuous suburban wasteland, covered with concrete and macadam, and purged of anything that could possibly be “dangerous.”

It helped a whole lot when we stopped accepting children.

That is often considered to be the perfect excuse.

”Well, we weren’t really frightened by the coyotes howling at the moon last night, but the children were terrified and will be having nightmares for years! We deserve a refund!! Maybe compensation for the trauma!!!”

I do feel sorry for the children. They were screwed from the moment of birth.

[Sarah977]

@Brian2036 "The few who are a problem always come from distant large cities. I don’t know why they come here and I wish they wouldn’t."

The majority of people get their notions of places they are unfamiliar with from movies and travel blogs and magazines. Which don't tell them that bears and racoons will get into the garbage if they don't secure it properly, that bear cubs aren't a photo op, because the mother bear is just around the corner and will tear them to shreds, or that while they are sipping their margueritas under the palm trees, they'll be fighting off mosquitos and no see-ums. 

They don't book vacations, they book fantasies.

[Jennie131]

Only RARELY do I get a guest like this. 

One lady told me I should knock out a wall to open up the master suite to the rest of the house.  You mean that load bearing wall between the master suite and the dining room? Great. That will open up the whole house. LITERALLY.

Another one told me that I should get rid of all of the furniture in the living room and replace it with big, overstuffed couched and recliners. I lived in that house for ten years, and I know for a fact that you can't get oversized furniture in there. If you managed to build it inside the house, there is no way you could arrange it in a way that would be functional. The living room originally consisted of a small sitting room and a small dining room, separated by a wall and a doorway. The wall was knocked out sometime in the sixties, we think when the master suite was added. This resulted in a long, narrow living room. 

A more recent gem of a guest told us about zero problems or issues whatsoever, but left three stars because the house was "just ok" and left me a laundry list of things she personally thinks needed to be replaced. She told me there has to be GCFI outlets in the bathrooms even though THERE ARE. You can even see them in the listing photos. She didn't like an extension cord I left for guest use, stating that the cord is "loose". It is not. Long, stupid list of stupid, inconsequential things that most certainly did not ruin her one night stay.

[Sarah977]

@Jennie131  One night and she had nothing better to do than inspect everything and come up with a list of complaints and stupid suggestions. Some people are just pathetic.

[Jennie131]

Yep. Luckily I was able to get her generous three stars removed because her review was about how beautiful the neighborhood is. I mean, it is beautiful, but she clearly had no idea that she wasn't supposed to review the neighborhood. 

[Cathie19]

Hmmm @Laura2592. If I had that guest I would consider reviewing them as a friendly and communicative guest who also left the space clean, but may in hindsight have been more attune to a hotel rather than a residential cottage. 

Insect indeed! They should come visit us as we enter the build up before the Wet Season. Lol……

[Marie6762]

@Laura_C 

I’m curious about her actual review & comments, as  pleasant 5-star review would immediately confirm her “desire to be helpful”, while anything less would confirm that she’s a petty busy-body!