Unmarried couples


Unmarried couples

Hello to all my fellow Airbnb ers.


My wife and I are Christian and we've always told our children that they were not allowed to have boys or girls in their rooms especially over to spend the night. We are at a crossroads as we want to honor our God and not be a part of the worlds thinking by having our home be a place for people to meet up and well you know..


We are relatively new to this and do not want to have unmarried people using our home for a place to be intimate outside of marriage. We're trying to think of the best course of action to set this boundary.


Any thoughts?

1 Best Answer
Level 3
Toronto, Canada

My suggestion to you is to not consider renting your place because it's unlikely that people wont be intimate in your house.

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24 Replies 24
Level 3
Toronto, Canada

My suggestion to you is to not consider renting your place because it's unlikely that people wont be intimate in your house.

Thank you for your reply. But it does not address the thought or question. We're looking for the best way to word this. We plan on continuing this as it's a blessing to our guest and us. We're not looking for counseling on this  if we should or should not do this we are looking for the best way to word this, and if any other believers have had this an issue as well. Thank you for your reply.

Hosting is probably not for you.  Seems like if you are too concerned with your guests' marital status and that is discriminatory.  Its really none of your business so if thats a hurdle, you need to re-consider hosting.  

Level 3
Ruidoso, NM

You could state in your house rules that you only rent to married couples.  Depending upon how deeply you want to police the "morality" of others, you could require a marriage certificate.

Level 5
Albuquerque, NM

I am a Christian also and agree with your views on marriage.  However, we cannot expect people who are not Christians to behave the same way we would.  It's not our job to change their behavior, only to tell them the truth about Jesus.


So, how would your kids know whether they are married? Maybe they would notice, but why not use it as an opportunity to teach your kids?  Talking about situations is a great way for kids to learn. We don't have to keep our kids from knowing about how other people live to make sure they turn out a particular way or share our beliefs.  Discussing issues rather than shielding them usually works out better in the long run.  


I agree with the other person that replied.  There is no way to screen couples.  Asking this question and then refusing a booking based on it is a great way to turn people away from Christianity and Airbnb.

Hi, our kids are all grown and on there own. I was stating that because this is the value we've had in our home and still do. We have a sign in our home that says 'As for me and my house we will glorify the Lord". It's all over scripture that people living together, being intimate with one another outside of marriage is not seeking God's favor, is a sin and they will not be blessed. It's true we can't police everyone and nor do we want to. You see we counsel young couples all the time. We show threw the word of God that are living in sin will not honner God and that brings about judgment. 1 Cor 6.9.  We always take them to the word of God that states being intimate with your partner is Gods plan and he actually rejoices in this. But to be intimate or to put it bluntly having sex outside of marriage is a sin. We want to use our home to glorify God. As you know being a Christian we are constantly under persecution. I never want to be that guy that stands before our Lord on judgment Day and He says " You knew the truth, you know what I left behind in my writings, why did you except anything other. Turn away from me you know me not" Now that all being said we can only live acording to His word. I understand the world says this is nuts and archaic. Gal 1:10. Thanks for your time.


This is a great article that will hopefully help you understand this a bit better.. This is great that we can express our opinions respectfully here,  thank you so much for your concern. http://www.gospelway.com/morality/sexual_cohabitation.php

Level 3
Northampton, United Kingdom

So what are you going to do if you have married gay couples arrive ? Put them in separate rooms. I would not want to stay at your place.

I know right? Hosting, not parenting or chaperoning! 

Level 10
Panglao, Philippines

@Kayla0's response was perfect. As a staunch atheist my response is a tad more harsh. If you want to host you open your house to all races, religions and sometimes cultural norms that differ from your own. If you can't move into the 21st century, open your mind and leave your religious dogma behind hosting shouldn't be for you. I also get the impression from your post that you would "preach" to your guests. Do the world a favor, don't host and leave the evangelizing to your home, family and your church.

Level 3
Groveland, CA

Dear Tonie and Angie,


I fear if you do not want to rent to unmarried couples you won't want to rent to gay couples (married or not).  There have been a lot of press lately about discrimination lawsuits where a baker for instance was sued, shut his business down and was practically run out of town for not making a wedding cake for a lesbian couple due to religious concerns.  You are in an even worse situation as I believe housing discrimination is even worse when it comes to that.  So you may already be in violation of the law or will be soon.  


This is just not the right business for you unless you are wanting a court battle which will happen eventually.  No judgements here, just giving you some facts.

Level 10
Boise, ID

Hmm...interesting question.  I have seen some folks on here who keep a Kosher kitchen that simply do not allow people to use the kitchen instead of having to ask guests whether they are kosher or not, or only accepting kosher guests.  But since the main function of renting an Airbnb is to have a place to sleep, that probably isn't the right approach for this situation.  (denying kitchen access would be different than denying sleep access).


I understand that you do not desire any feedback on whether your desire to ban unwed people from sharing a bed is particularly Christian, moral, compatible with Airbnb culture etc.


Therefore, I would just suggest that in your house rules you stipulate that you only rent to unwed persons if they are willing to sleep in separate beds.  You should probably define "wed" for your guests, as some people have a common law marriage which does not come with a marriage certificate but stands in court as marriage.  (From your description it sounds like you would define such a marriage is co-habitation).  You should also consider whether you would consider a valid, state-sanctioned union between two people of the same sex as marriage, as many same-sex couples do have a valid marriage certificate, are legally defined as a married couple, and I must presume that according to your religious background these unions would not count as "holy matrimony" in your eyes, and in this instance you might prefer to stipulate that you do not want these married people to share a bed in your home.  You should think about what you would want to do in the instance that people have differing last names, as that is culturally quite common in some places.  Also, whether you would require a marriage certificate or if their word that they are married is enough. 


You may also care to consider that Airbnb has in the past banned hosts that discriminate, for example a host was removed for denying a room to a guest on the basis of their transgender identity.  

Level 10
Daylesford, Australia

A quandary indeed! I once stayed in a Christian camp in Fiji, they were very welcoming but would not allow men and women to share who were not married. No problem, I just wanted a bed.

The only way as I see it for you to do this is to state all your Christian values etc on the profile and listing page, make it as loud and proud as you like to ensure the only guests who come are the ones who totally share your values. Otherwise you would indeed be discriminating. Get the preaching out of the way before guests pay any money, that way they will have an idea of where they are going to stay. Many will feel uncomfortable, and they will not book so all will fit well hopefully.

Level 3
Palm Springs, CA

Dear Tony & Angie,


My point of view is that you have put yourselves in a very untenable situation, where your goal is to participate in the hospitality business yet you feel constrained by your Christian beliefs. I'd advise you to be as upfront and transparent as possible in your listing and in your initial conversations with potential guests about your expectations and your beliefs; however, as one earlier replier mentioned, you must then be prepared to deal with the consequences of a discrimination suit brought against you, which in my opinion you will richly deserve. But at least you will have been as open and forthright as possible. 


All of us in the hospitality business (and that is what we are in as Airbnb hosts) must come to terms with the reality that at some point we will have to be hosts to someone whose beliefs we abhor (example, for me as a host, it would be anyone who is anti-gay, anti-immigrant, anyone who proclaims to be a Christian fundamentalist, or anyone supporting Donald Trump). Yet I accept this as part of the role I play in the business I am in. And at the end of the day, how would we even enforce any of this? (e.g., how would you really be able to verify that a couple renting your place is truly married? Will you require that they show you documentation? Would I demand a notarized statement that the guest isn't going to vote for Trump? Wow, I don't want that type of pressure!)


As I write this, I've come to the conclusion that perhaps the best course of action for you is to find another venue that will allow you to rent your space without compromising your beliefs. Perhaps there are websites specifically aimed at the traveling Christian market? 


I wish you well. 

Obviously Christian in this context means a particular subset, I would imagine that the majority of Christian hosts would have no issue.


I have no idea if there is a 'Christian' specific equivalent but a general site such as AirBnB obviously does not meet your needs.


Reminds me of someone who wanted to only offer a 'safe space' and not host anybody who did not match her personal views.