When is it ok to call host at night?

[Inna22]

Obviously if there is a water leak, call me any time. What about this one though?

Guest messages that they need to check at 2 am (4 pm scheduled arrival on the same calendar day). I reply saying that they would need to pay for the extra night. The guest replies that it would be cheaper to rent a hotel. Odd but fine. 

At 1 am the guest starts bombarding me with calls and I answer number 4. It is cheaper to stay with me and they want to pay. I told them I was sleeping and would see them at 4. If this were simple I might have taken care of it since they woke me up already. It is not though. I would not have been able to do alteration because it was the new calendar day, money requests are usually confusing to guests and many can’t follow through. I also thought it was a totally obnoxious move. 

I woke up to an apology- they did not think I would be sleeping. Ok, fine, try me one time. Four times in a row at 1 am? 

[Mark116]

I'm finding the biggest issue with recent guests [guest quality seems overall to  have rebounded from the low of 2020] are people who do not answer or acknowledge messages.  At all.  People who instant book and then apparently never check the messages or even consider that whatever time they intend to arrive is or is not within the window on the listing.  Most of the people who behave this way don't bother leaving reviews, but it is both extremely stressful and annoying.  It only takes about 30 seconds to type out 'Thanks for the info, we're all set we will let you know if we need anything'.

The last two guests who never answered any messages both expected to check in several hours early.  WTF??  

[Inna22]

Shockingly, I just got another call (it is 12:15 am). What is with these people? This guy did not arrive till just now read "floor" instead of "door" and could not find the front door. it said go to second door and he kept looking for stairs to the second floor. Even after I asked him to read out load the instructions that he had in front of him, he kept saying second floor, actually arguing with me about it. He finally got to the door but could not open the coded lock. Instructions taped to the door! He could not figure out that he had to turn the knob. How do these people function? How do they hold jobs? I do not even understand how he was able to start his car and make it all the way here.

[Sarah977]

@Inna22  They're sure not anyone you'd want to be stranded on a desert island with, are they? They are the opposite of "survivors".

[Huma0]

@Inna22 

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@Inna22 wrote:

How do these people function? How do they hold jobs? I do not even understand how he was able to start his car and make it all the way here.

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I often wonder about this... I have had a few guests behave in such an odd manner (at least to me) that I can't fathom how they function in day to day life. Do you find this more with younger people? I don't want to be ageist but I just feel that a lot of younger people these days have not been taught really basic life skills.

[Mark116]

@Huma0  We recently changed our check in instructions to read 'put gold key in door knob lock, turn key right, push door in'...after two groups within a couple of months could not open the door.  One was a group of young women, who in their defense, had been traveling over night for many hours from Europe, and they were horrified at their dumbness and it then became a running gag for them in all their messages they made some joke about the house needing to be unlocked for them.  The other was a youngish American mother who came on a 3 hour flight and told me straight to my face that 'the key doesn't turn in the lock'.  Yes, yes it does.  Then she says 'show me'.  I mean, come on, did she really think I don't know how to work the locks and keys in my own house.  When I showed her, no apology, no nothing, no acknowledgment of her rudeness.  Both sets left us 5 star reviews, but after that we added the literal step by step how to use a key to open a lock instruction.

My long winded point is that both groups who could not open a basic key into the door lock were young women.  Crazy.

[Huma0]

@Mark116 

I show all guests how to use the front door look during the check in tour. As with yours, it's not complicated. You simply put the key in the lock and turn it. You would think that people could figure it out themselves, but so many seem to struggle so I feel I have to show them. Even then, recently a guest messaged me on her second day here to say she was outside and the key didn't fit the lock. I went to open the door and she showed me, "Look, the key doesn't fit. It worked fine yesterday..." I replied, "That's because you're holding it upside down." 

Maybe I'm being a bit unfair to young women. I've had the occasional clueless male guest (both young and old) and a large percentage of my guests are young women, so perhaps I've just not been exposed to as many helpless guests from other genders/age groups. BUT, I've now encountered many young ladies who struggle with the most basic things. I am not sure how they function in the outside world. 

I have one of these staying with me right now. Every day there is at least one small thing to make a drama over, but usually several, e.g. a freak out because she put her laundry in the machine but forgot to turn it on, or saying that the gas on the stove (which she has been using for a few weeks) won't turn off but it turns out she is turning the knob the wrong way. These are such small things but I have to tell her to 'calm down. It's no big deal.'

At the same time, I have two other 20-something year old girls staying who are perfectly rational, practical and self-sufficient, so obviously I don't want to tar them all with the same brush but there are enough of the clueless ones out there that I wonder what on earth their parents taught them. I don't remember any of my friends being like that when we were in our twenties.

[Mark116]

@Huma0  We used to do this pre-pandemic also.  The the interior door to the airbnb is tricky as it has two locks that have to be opened in the correct order. Now we write that they should familiarize themselves with the keys before going out.

I'm on the fence about restarting in person checks ins.  I believe it improves the feeling of the guest they are staying in someone's home and may invite them to better follow the rules and ask questions.  OTOH, it's nice sometimes not to have to bother being 'on' and friendly/bubbly every time guests arrive.  I haven't decided yet, I may start asking guests, giving them the option of meeting or self check in and see how it goes.

As to the OP, guests don't call us very often.  We had some very sub par, the difficult kind of guest, they were really nice, but didn't get it.  Very messy, damaged some items, and the husband called us at 11:45pm?!  because in this dense urban area he decided to drive out to the store and couldn't get back in his spot.  He wanted to face time us while he drove around to ensure whatever spot he found was legal.  He had also sent us a photo of where they parked when they checked in at 2am, which thankfully was a legal spot, but of course we never saw it until the morning.  Dude, no.  I am not your mother or your valet. They were the first guests who did a review of us that we did not reciprocate because I could not give them a good review but hated to slam them when they so clearly loved the place.

[Huma0]

@Mark116 

Well, this is completely the kind of ridiculous behaviour I'm talking about. While there is a benefit to going 'above and beyond' for your guests, at some point you have to draw the line and when you say "Dude, no," I feel you! 

Why is it that certain guests think a host should be available 24/7 to navigate them through every aspect of life in the time they are staying with you (or, also as we have seen here, in the days/weeks before and after)? How do they function the rest of the time? How do they park, or open a door or turn an appliance on or off?

Another drama this evening with current guest who took it upon herself to put a caustic cleaning product in my kettle without asking... There are many things she could have done if she wanted to be 'useful', e.g. tidying up after herself properly, but this is not one of them.

[Colleen253]

@Huma0 I’ve also had a few guests I’ve ‘wondered about’ and they’ve not been young people. My younger guests have all been quite capable, and respectful. 

It is quite amazing how some people can make it to the age they do, and all in one piece.

[Huma0]

@Colleen253 

For sure, I've also had some older guests that I 'wondered about', like one couple in their late 50s who could not cook at all and I mean not even follow the instructions on a microwave meal. I wonder how they had brought up their kids and managed to feed them...

And also, I've had many very self-sufficient, sensible and capable younger guests. However, I have noticed that an alarmingly high percentage of the young guests do not seem able to cope with the most basic of day to day activities compared to what was usual when I was that age. They often also seem to have no social life whatsoever, even if they have ample opportunity to meet other people and make friends. 

Of course, we can blame social media and I feel that must be playing a huge role. We have a whole generation now where many people cannot function in the 'real' world as they have grown up functioning in a virtual one. 

I remember the last office I worked in, where none of the interns or assistants would answer the telephone. They were absolutely petrified of picking up a phone and actually having to speak to a stranger. Sorry to sound like an old fart but, back in my youth, that was literally the first thing you learnt when starting work at a new company. It worries me that they find it so terrifying. 

[Sarah977]

@Huma0  I read a study where 80% of teenagers and young adults said they prefer to communicate with friends through texting than in person.

That is really sad. And they wonder why kids take an weapon to school and open fire on their classmates. They are totally alienated from real society. 

[Huma0]

@Sarah977 

Yes, I get that to a certain extent. I certainly don't want to talk to people early in the morning or before I have had my first coffee. I would rather they go away, but am happy to message them back.

The 'kids' however, that is a whole other problem. I have seen the fear on their faces when I have told them at the office, 'Pick up the phone! No, I mean it, please answer the phone!'. They look at me like I am stark raving mad...

[Lawrene0]

My absolutely most clueless guests were in their fifties, like your non-cooks, @Huma0 . I could not fathom what was up with them until at the end of their stay they confessed that they had left their reading glasses at home because they would be camping. Ha, ha, how silly of us, etc.

This meant they could not properly read my messages, or the map, or the stove instructions. Instead of telling me this at any point during the stay, they continued to call and send messages and misunderstand and need help. 

I wonder if needing reading glasses was what was going on with your floor/door guy, @Inna22 .

[Colleen253]

@Lawrene0That's hilarious. I'm 52 and reading glasses have just recently become a thing I cannot do without. They are such a pain. I recently had a regular guest forget a pair at the Airbnb and I messaged her in a panic, thinking she would be lost without them. She told me not to worry, she had about 6 other pairs laying in various places about the house. 🤣  I've since gone and picked up several readers from the drugstore myself.

[Huma0]

@Lawrene0 @Colleen253 

Oh yes, the reading glasses...

Having had 20/20 vision most of my life, I was definitely in denial for a couple of years when  my eyesight started to fail. Eventually, I gave in and just accepted that I was middle aged...

However, the couple who couldn't cook... well I am pretty sure that it had nothing to do with their eyesight and everything to do with attitude. Look, I understand, not everyone has to be into cooking, but it was not just that. They couldn't operate their phones, follow the most basic directions or instructions, or use simple equipment. I have no idea how they were still alive in their late 50s to be honest, let alone having brought up two kids (who knows how they turned out)...