Abusing hospitality, advice please

[Samantha45]

I have a twin-bedded room with exclusive use of the bathroom for my guests. Because I have only the one room I do not provide breakfast and there is no point in me stocking every conceivable breakfast product only to find that my guests will be leaving at the crack of dawn and won't want breakfast. So, this is what my listing says, in the second paragraph of the summary:

"We do not provide breakfast, but you can use the kitchen (only in the mornings) to eat your cereals, pastries etc and there is a variety of teas, and coffee and milk for your use. "

Why, then, do guests think that it's OK to arrive with food, flattering me with how lovely my home is, being all pathetic saying how tired they are and would I mind if they just popped a pizza in the oven, or a convenience meal in the micro-wave? No, it is not OK, but I am too polite to refuse so my evening is trashed because I sew in the kitchen in the evenings and I also can't bear hearing my bone-china dishes being clattered around in the sink and prefer to get the unwelcome visitors out of the kitchen so that I can clear up after them. Most of them are lovely, but at the end of the day I feel manipulated and my hospitality abused.

This is happening as the norm, rather than the exception and even though I always ask guests to read my 'house rules' before they arrive so that there are no misunderstandings last night's couple clearly read the bit about me not providing breakfast because they arrived with the makings for a cooked breakfast. 

I'd welcome any suggestions about how to make this clearer to guests BEFORE they arrive.

[Paul1255 · Accepted solution]

Hi @Samantha45  I hope you are well!

Your listing looks lovely and your reviews are glowing 🙂

Your rules about kitchen use are clearly mentioned in the body of your listing and in your house rules, so there isn't a lack of clarity there at all.

In your welcome message you could put in something like "thank you so much for booking a stay with me, please ensure you have fully read and understood the details of my listing including house rules, which include ..... and ....... to ensure my listing meets your needs and you have the most enjoyable stay. Requests for kitchen use outside of the outlined times will be politely declined. If you aren't comfortable with this you do have a 48 hour window in which to cancel penalty-free. (you might say this already, but if you are mentioning if they aren't comfortable with the rules and they can cancel it gives the impression that you are standing firm with your rules and you want to ensure they are a good fit for you)

If they are booking quite far ahead, you could also send a reminder shortly before the stay starts for a refresher.

It is up to your guests to respect your house rules- but it is also up to you to enforce them, otherwise they are meaningless- if a guest wants to use the kitchen in the evening and you are busy sewing and you want to be left in peace, if a guest asks to use the kitchen it's up to you to say no to that request in a polite way- they have had very fair warning that it isn't available to them.

My listing is the same as yours- I only allow kitchen and living room access for breakfast time only, the rest of the time the space is mine and I don't have any issues with guests trying to push the boundaries because I probably make it way too clear.

Best wishes

Paul.

[Samantha45]

Hi Paul

That a really good idea to let them know that they can cancel if they don't like my rules!  I'm on it 🙂

Many thanks,

Samantha

[Paul1255]

You're welcome @Samantha45  🙂 

I did have a guest cancel a few weeks ago, who didn't read my listing well, or indeed even my welcome message- it all sunk in the following day, and she sent a lovely message saying she'd like to stay somewhere where she can cook so she would be cancelling- totally fine with me as we wouldn't be a great fit.

[Samantha45]

Being a 'good fit' is essential!

BTW - I can't figure out how to edit my saved messages. The top one will let me edit it but the others say "Edit in listing details" but then I get stuck.  Any ideas?

BW Sam

[Paul1255]

When I go into my saved messages @Samantha45  I can edit each of them right there on the app- but only ones I have created as a message myself.

The saved messages that are directly related to the body of your listing and are pulled from there (house manual, house rules etc) you have to edit via the listing iself and once editied via the listing will automatically update into your saved messages...if that makes any sense at all from the way I have explained it?!

[Samantha45]

Got it! Thanks Paul 🙂