Guest for Dinner

[Anthony608]

I was hoping to get some opinions from other hosts about whether or not to say something in a guest review about a situation that came up involving dinner.  I have a guest, who I've mentioned in another post, as being someone who was thinking that, as a host, I would spend time with him and do things with him.  He approached me a few times when I was home at night, asking what I was doing and at one point asked me would I take him somewhere in my car (I said I was going out with friends that night and could not).

Anyway, last night, this guest literally walked into the living/dining room and interrupted dinner.  I was clearly there eating, sitting and watching TV, and the guest walked directly into the middle of the living room and began talking and asking could I take him to get some ice cream.  I politely said I was eating dinner, but did help him find the place on his phone map app.

He's been a good guest otherwise and I think some of his behavior might just be some emotional immaturity when dealing with others socially.  But still, it did make me uncomfortable when he interrupted dinner.

[Anonymous]

@Anthony608  wow, your guest sounds like he's about 10 years old.

I think you've done the best thing a host can do here by communicating your boundaries with both firmness and kindness. 

As for the review, I don't think I'd mention the dinner interruption specifically, since as an in-home host you're basically "on duty" whenever you're in the common areas of the house. However, some mention of the multiple requests for rides would be warranted. The vast majority of hosts expect guests to arrange their own transport; a homestay host is not the same thing as an Uber driver.

[Anthony608]

@Anonymous  - Yes, I simply said he would do better with an AirBNB host who could stay home for the duration of the stay in order to assist the guest.  This man had some emotional development problems, that was obvious, and no concept of personal space.  He would routinely walk into dining room when I was having dinner and stopped just short once of going into my bedroom, mainly because he realized I wasn't in there when he saw me coming up the stairs.  The one thing he did which actually crossed the line was in his review he stated I had never replied to any of his messages (completely false) and further stated that I had not purchased food for him to eat while he was in the house - my listing says nothing about this and I know of very few hosts who would routinely buy groceries for visiting guests.

[Peter1757]

I would not put up with it I would tell the guest in a kind but firm manner to leave this part of the home because it is not his rented area and it is therefore out of bounds. As far as him asking me to do him favours or act as if I was his friend I would remind him that this is a business not a social club and leave it at that. Perhaps at other locations where your guest has stayed he was treated like one of the family And feels that he can behave in such a manner where ever he is. And illustration that might fit the scenario is this if you walk into a business as a customer and the employees are on lunch you do not walk into the lunch room and expect them to discuss things with you and get up and assist you. You politely wait. Or prior to your arrival you speak to the supervisor and tell them that you may be arriving during the lunch hour and you would like to know if someone could assist you at that time. also apologize for any inconvenience that may occur.  

[Anthony608]

@Peter1757- I think you said it exactly right.  The guest had been to some previous AirBNBs where the hosts most likely treated him like a personal guest, had dinner with him, took him to see the sights, and drove him around to do various things.  It was enormously obvious that this is what he expected when he was at my residence, which is kind of an empty place where the guests are not bothered by me unless they have a question or a problem. 

I am trying to be understanding because of his disability, since I think a lot of his behavior was connected to him constantly being around people who took care of him and this is what he routinely expected.  Still, it did make me upset that he was asking me to buy him groceries and suggesting I was a bad host because I didn't take him out in the evening to do activities.  That was going too far.