Dealing with disapproving neighbours

Dealing with disapproving neighbours

Has anyone had experience dealing with neighbours who are less than impressed about you hosting through Airbnb?

My husband and I have bought our own property so we aren't renting or breaking any body corporate laws. Our property is 21 acres so the only contact our neighbour has with the guests is seeing them drive up and down the driveway. Our house is almost one km from his. Yet he claims that the guests are noisy and disruptive. We have told him we are doing nothing wrong by hosting on our land and haven't engaged further with him on the matter but it does concern me. He even said he had looked us up to see exactly how busy we were and was angry that we didn't inform him we had started hosting. I run a business from home too. By his logic I should let him k ow when my clients are arriving! It seems ridiculous to me but if not managed properly it has the potential to get nasty so any tips would be appreciated
12 Replies 12

Dependent on what your relationship is with him, what about inviting him over for a drink and show him the airbnb room / space and the airbnb web site demonstrating how it works with things like verifications, house rules, reviews to assure him that people are not coming to hold unauthorised parties etc.

Dependent on his own situation, it might also be something he might want to try to generate income for himself.

 

IMHO, I think he just needs some reassurance that his property is going to be safe and his peaceful lifestyle unaffected - and that's it.

 

 

To be honest I think he is looking for a fight not reassurance. He has said so many things that are completely contradictory. For example, one set of guests got dropped off at the top of the driveway and started to walk down it. He saw them doing so and invited them to his place for a drink and then gave them a lift. But later complained they invaded his space and woke him up. Yet he was already up drinking and invited them over, not the other way round.

He has also complained that people driving down our driveway causes dust. We told him that we are getting our driveway sealed very soon so this won't be a problem and that in the mean time all guests are requested to drive slowly. He expressed disbelief that we would spend the substantial amount of money needed to fix the driveway. I'm not at all comfortable having him in my home right now, as I don't trust him at all. So although your suggestion to show him round is a good one, I don't think it will help in this situation with his negative and contradictory attitude.

kerry, look up my profile and try to message me privately. You've said something that I think is important, but I don't necessarily want to post about it publicly. I don't know if this email will be blocked or not, but here it is. ***. I'll write something to you later this morning.

Kerry, I'm going to give you some contradictory sounding advice. I wanted to do so privately, but this system isn't allowing me to message you, even though the option is clearly there.

 

Your neighbour is exhibiting signs of incipient or active alcoholism. You said "he was already up and drinking," which makes me think he may have invited your guests over a bit earlier than usual. Also, the Jekyll-Hyde way he's behaving is standard heavy-drinking/alcoholic behaviour. I should know, I worked as a counsellor for alcoholics and drug addicts. I stopped when I burned out a few years ago.

 

Here's an idea. You don't feel comfortable having him in your own home and I don't blame you. If you are a good enough liar, or maybe if your partner (husband) is, do you think you could tell your neighbour a tall tale and do so convincingly?

 

Tell him a distant relative of yours is staying with you for either a few days or weeks (whatever you think you can get away with). Make this relative sound a lot like your neighbour, except may change the gender--she lives on a large rural property and it was when her neighbours noticed her erratic behaviour that her relatives were called an intervention was staged. She's staying with you for a few days or weeks, right out of rehab. Say she is not driving, so when he doesn't notice a vehicle, he won't wonder.

 

You could follow up a while later by saying she's back at home and back to drinking and that you and your husband are worried. You could also say that you and your husband have decided to go teetotal after what you've seen. Be careful to appear you are taking him into your confidence--act like you feel a comet may have hit your lives. You could say you've initiated the conversation with him because he had invited some of your guests over for a drink, and you want to make sure he doesn't extend the same invitation to your relative.

 

What this accomplishes is putting him on notice that you are aware of what alcoholic/heavy drinking looks like and you know the signs...just like your imaginary relative had neighbours who knew the signs. Heavy drinkers, especially those who are sliding into alcoholism, do not want anyone to think they are alcoholic. As a matter of fact, they will usually go to great lengths to hide from anyone they think is suspicious of them. If he thinks you have a heightened sensitivity to this, he will, in all likelihood, leave you alone. If you are drawn into a direct confrontation, you will probably be in for years worth of grief. Heavy drinkers are by definition irrational, hence the contradictory things he is telling you. They are also full of rage and need convenient targets. This is how you can finesse your way out of his sights.

 

I did something similar with a neighbour of mine a few years ago. It was a similar deal. She was lonely and I suspected heavy drinking because of her contradictory behaviour. She wasn't picking fights with me, but was trying to get me involved in fights she was having with neighbours. I told her a tall tale about taking care of an alcoholic relative (I went away on a trip and told her I was going to stay with that relative. I said I would be looking after her since she was straight out of rehab). It worked like a charm. She kept her distance from me after that, which was a huge relief. The last thing she wanted was me seeing her through the same lens.

 

I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but some of the things you mentioned caught my attention and reminded me of what I'd done. It might be worth a try.  

 

 

@Eileen

Thanks for your very detailed response. No, it doesn't sound crazy we definitely have our own theories about his alcohol dependency. Not sure if we can pull off such an intricate deception but it's good for thought

Hi Kerry, yes, I've walking been around today wondering if I over-shared. The deal is that the regular rules of engagement don't count with people like your neighbour. You can't embarrass him into better behaviour because he probably forgets how badly he's behaved or he's in denial about how obnoxious his behaviour is. And if you get confrontational with him--especially if you call him out on his drinking--he may find it provocative and you might end up with a bigger problem on your hands. Just making him aware, somehow, that you are sensitive and observant about heavy drinking and its attendant bad effects, and if you do so without pointing a finger at him in any way, it may just put him off you and your husband. And putting him off the two of you is probably the best outcome. I think you may need to be a bit careful here: some heavy drinkers live for the drama of drawn out feuds. Given his proximity and over-focus (on you already), it seems he may be that type of person. 

Hi Kerry. You have a lovely property. It made me homesick : ). Two words. Ignore him.....Anything you may do could escalate things. Just my 2cents worth.

 

Ciao


D

 

If the only issue were hurt feelings, I might agree that ignoring the neighbour would be best, but this is a business and so I don't think being proactive is such a bad idea. I've used Airbnb about half a dozen times now. A sprinkling of listings here and there have had guest reviews that said "the neighbours aren't too happy to have an Airbnb next door." I immediately crossed those rentals off my list because who wants the hassle? Even if a property is legally in the clear, as this property seems to be, having a neighbour who bothers guests could be a liability. He might turn up in reviews. 

Thanks @Eileen4 @David-and-Fiona0 @Maxine0 for the input.

 

It cetainly is a tricky one. I don't think he will bother the guests, well he has not so far but then again who knows what may happen in the future? His opportunity for contact with them is very limited so I think that it is unlikely.

 

I think trying not to escalate the situation further is our best course of action right now. As I mentioned before, I do not think he is looking for reassurance so trying to socialise him to Airbnb probably won't help.  I think for now we will just go about hosting and perhaps invite him to a driveway party  once it is completed to (somewhat smugly) point out that we are people of our word. 

I'm very big on 'an ounce of prevention' strategies. In my condo building, the rules explicitly state that no short term rentals are allowed. However, there's currently a surplus of long-term rentals in my city and a shortage of suitable tenants. Most people who can afford it are buying condos, so I was really struggling to get it rented out. 

 

I also had a problem with where the condo was situated: one of its exterior walls faces an empty lot which is currently being developed into another condo building, so getting long term tenants posed some difficulty: who wanted to rent a space next to a construction site? That's when I decided to turn it into an Air rental. 

 

At the same time, I was hearing that other condo owners, in other buildings, were either being asked, by their condo boards, to stop doing short term rentals or, even worse, were being reported to municipal authorities and fined. It happened to a colleague of mine who occasionally rented out her condo while she spent weekends at her boyfriend's. The fine was substantial, around $10,000 (Cdn dollars). 

 

So I acted proactively and took the initiative to buy window boxes for a couple of communal balconies and planters for some other spaces. It cost me a few hundred dollars, but I was making a good income from my Air rental and it really prettified the building. In the end, the response on our building's Facebook page was really positive. People loved the flowers and since I love gardening, it wasn't a chore.

 

So when one disgruntled neighbour of mine posted the link to my Air rental on the FB page, with a long rant about how I was breaking the condo association's rules, apart from one other grumpy resident who agreed with him, I was overwhelmingly supported by everyone else in the building. I'm not sure what prompted this one neighbour's actions--ie to post the link along with the rant--but it was clear it was intended to out me/shame me and get me to stop. That was about a year ago. 

 

It was a stressful time, but seeing everyone else support me was great and in the last few weeks, this neighbour has actually reached out to me and been very nice. Even though his actions were really upsetting, I recognize the value of getting along with him, so I was pleasant in return.

 

Whatever bee was in his bonnet is no longer there and it's pretty much a sure bet that I'm going to be allowed to continue. When I heard about my colleague being fined, I got a bit panicky and asked around for advice. Of the half dozen people I asked, all of them told me to do nothing until it became an issue; you know, just continue running the rental as if you have every right to do so and don't answer your critics until they make a complaint. In other words, I was being urged to take a 'don't apologize, don't explain' approach. But the size of the fine had me concerned and so I didn't take their advice. I acted in my own best interest before I had a problem.

 

So again, an ounce of prevention. That's where I'm coming from here. I think it's also worth recognizing that Air rentals are seen as being quite lucrative in some markets, so there's the envy factor that needs to be taken into account. I suspect that may have been what got my colleague reported and what prompted my neighbour to try to stir up trouble.

 

I've been very careful to minimize the amount of income I make and maximize the amount of work involved when I do talk about my Airbnb. My department secretary was the one who told me about my colleague and he quickly followed up with the advice to keep schtum about it at work. That colleague does not know who turned her in after all, and he's of the opinion that it may have been another colleague, one who may have resented her extra income. 

 

Anyway, this is all FWIW here. 

Sounds like he is just a nosy cranky man who likes to know everybody's business and is full of his own self importance to me. You don't need his permission to host and you don't need to tell him when people visit you. They could be your family for all he knows.  I wouldn't ask him over for a drink to discuss anything or he might expect it every time.

 

What you could do is tell him that you know you are within your rights and not being noisy or disruptive, and that if he continues to complain to you then a harrassment case might be proved against you AND your visitors, which might also lead to a loss of income and a racial prejudice offence - you do have different nationalities staying don't you??

 

That should fix it.

Cheers

 

 

Thanks Carolyn I like your style!

We may well have to go down that route if anything more is said. On the plus side, we have fixed the driveway so one less thing for him to complain about 🙂

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