Hosting Ultra Orthodox Guests

[Dionne1]

Well, after 4-5 years of hosting on this platform, we had a first. We hosted a family of ultra-orthodox guests in our Airbnb. They did not make us aware of their religious requirements prior to their arrival and we were constantly caught off guard regarding how their presence would impact our own quality of life and schedule. Putting it nicely, this reservation was a disaster. We will be revising our description, house rules, and outgoing messages so that we can state (professionally) that we do not want to be in this situation again. 

Below is my draft review. Has anyone else had this experience? 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We’ve hosted hundreds of guests from around the world, and the overwhelming majority of people are a pleasure to host. However, some reservations can be difficult and this one TAKES. THE. PRIZE. I will list the issues that made this reservation a challenging one:

1. This family of four arrived three hours early (with short notice) and seemed displeased when they couldn’t have access to the suite. I offered them the opportunity to leave their luggage in our sunroom, however, they were visibly upset.
2. They grew even more upset when they realized they would not have their own refrigerator or freezer for their food. One of their family members pointedly asked, “What are you going to do with your food in the freezer?” After I explained that I was not in the position to discard of my family’s food, they aggressively jammed their food into the fridge and rearranged my family’s food to accommodate for theirs.
3. It was clear that they did not read our listing thoroughly; they thought they would have our entire home to themselves. This led to significant tension, aggressive body language, and communication misfires from our guests. I invited them to seek other accommodations, however they chose to stay.
4. When going over the house rules, I specifically asked that they not dispose of cigarette butts in our yard. Not only did these guests dispose of cigarette butts in our yard, but they threw them right outside our front door, onto our patio. Hosts who take pride in their home will most likely find this practice nasty and disrespectful. 
5. These guests constantly slammed doors throughout their stay. I asked that they stop slamming the doors and while it stopped briefly, it picked back up. Again, there appeared to be little regard or respect for us and our property.
6. Their religious beliefs prevent them from operating technology and other mechanical devices during their Sabbath. This meant we had to open the doors for them, turn lights on and off for them, eliminate the lighting in our refrigerator, go behind and unplug cooking devices, etc. I had to cancel my Saturday plans so they could have someone to open the door for them during this time. 
7. Their strict religious lifestyle required an usually high amount of hands on engagement from us as hosts. At no point were any of these requirements communicated prior to their arrival. We pride ourselves in being flexible and accommodating for our guests, however, this caught us by surprise and left us feeling blindsided and very inconvenienced. Furthermore, there was an air of entitlement and despite everything we did to accommodate this family, felt unappreciated for our time and efforts. 

The good news is that XXXX's mother was friendly and they left the suite and kitchen in good condition. 

[Dionne1]

@Tony134 😄

[Mark116]

I think I would have called airbnbn to relocate people who expected me to open and close doors for them.  That is insane.  

[Dionne1]

@Mark116 Isn't it? Their mechanical and technology limitations didn't kick in until the last 48 hours (Friday and Saturday) of their stay. I called Airbnb and they simply said, remember this is your business and to manage the situation professionally, and that we only had less than 24 hours left, at that point. In other words, "Suck it up, Buttercup." My experience is that ABNB will do everything possible to keep folks calm and maintain the reservation. 

[Mark116]

@Dionne1

I would have been really, really tempted to tell the guests, that if they couldn't open their own doors, then, they'd have to stay home with the doors open, LOL.  Have they left any review yet?  How awful, and what terrible people to impose on hosts like that with no warning.

[Dionne1]

@Mark116 This may sound strange, but I wonder if they never experienced another lifestyle, so  it never occurred to them how much of an inconvenience their requests would be. Not sure that even makes sense, but that has crossed my mind in trying to understand what on earth went wrong, here. 

[Anonymous]

@Dionne1 Although the advice from Airbnb wasn't particularly helpful in the situation, it still sounds fairly reasonable. They acknowledged that you as the business owner have the autonomy to decide how you'll conduct your interactions with the guest, provided that you abide by the terms of service and supply the amenities advertised (which probably don't include door-opening services). A last-minute relocation for only one night on a weekend would've been difficult to arrange and almost certain to escalate conflict; if I were in this situation I would also take into account that the booking was mercifully almost finished.

I hope they at least offered some clarity on the point that it would not be considered religious discrimination if you had been unwilling or unavailable to accommodate the special requests. 

[Dionne1]

@Anonymous I agree. While these are our private homes, I recognize that this is a business. And under those circumstances I am more patient than I normally would be. That said, the requests that came with this reservation were unusual and out of the ordinary. It would've been a courteous thing for them to apprise me in advance instead of springing all of these demands and special needs onto us while they were here. 

ABNB did not offer any perspective on religion except to say, "we don't comment on it." They want to ensure that everyone feels welcomen (I respect that) and are leaving it up to host and guest to negotiate. 

[Linda108]

 As others have stated, you were dealing with bullies who used a wonderful religion to intimidate a very giving and caring host, @Dionne1.   Of course if they had the entire home they could not have maintained the orthodox requirements either.  I didn't see a review.  Did they leave one and it is buried?  Did they have reviews from other hosts?   In addition to the thumbs down review I wonder if it would be a good idea for the profile to be flagged, not due to religion but due to bullying.

[Dionne1]

Hi @Linda108, thanks for reaching out. Neither of us have left a review. I plan on posting mine within the next week towards the end of the review period. Please feel free to check back around that time. 

[Mark116]

If I am understanding, their last day was a Saturday, but they can't use any technology from Friday evening, so if I were you, I would wait until Friday night at the 2 week mark to post their review, assuming they didnt' write one up to that time, if that makes sense.

[Dionne1]

@Mark116 You are good. That's exactly what I'm planning on doing. I have it drafted, I've been tweaking according to the feedback I've been receiving through this forum, will send to ABNB for final approval and then post. 🙂

[Nung0]

Opening and closing doors for them I would have closed the door on them and mind it dont bang you on the ass on the way out

[Tracy0]

They *completley* knew what they were doing booking a shared accomodation! 

Why?  

Because no hotel would have suited their needs while travelling - they needed someone at home to do these things for them.

I'd let it rip if it were me.  No way would I have been around to open doors for them. I'd be like 'oh sorry I'm off to my boyfriend's place' and let them figure out how to manage.

[Lyndsey2]

Although certainly not the norm in the Orthodox community, this is far from unheard of. I remember once being in the car with my parents when a man jumped into the car without asking and demanded to be driven somewhere, since he couldn't do it himself on the Sabbath and a cab was also out of the question. I've witnessed some other similar things as well. I have friends who are orthodox and occasionally ask a polite favor from a friend to help make modern life compatible with their religion. They don't have to take advantage of strangers. There is no reason to be arrogant, rude, and selfish as these guests have been. 

[Dionne1]

@Lyndsey2 CORRECT. In fact, Susan (back on page two) posted comments from a host with a similar experience as part of this thread. While many speculate that this is the same family, I have my doubts. What made this family especially difficult was their overall attitude and sense of entitlement. We are very respectful of different faiths, cultures, backgrounds, and in fact celebrate them. (After hosting 500 people from around the world, in my home and still maintaining SUPER HOST status all these years, that's got to say something about our openess.) But slamming doors and throwing cigarette butts outside my front door is disrespectul, regardless of your beliefs.

And get this: one night, they saw me watching the news, then one of them volunteered their political view and was repeatedly trying to spark a heated debate. Keep in mind, I'm already turned off by their actions, so I also thought this was rude.