Ladies - is this a taboo issue?

[Ben551]

I have a question for fellow hosts that pertains to a particular ladies issue.

Now, as a bloke asking this, it’s pretty safe to assume whatever and however I ask this will offend someone, so let’s just get this part out of the way: I’m an ill educated English **bleep** who doesn’t know the first thing about how difficult “that time of the month” can be, other than what my wife tells me...

So, to my question...

What is the protocol around asking a guest to... put right a bed stain situation she created, due to (I assume) either beng caught by surprise or not being prepared? I’m talking total and complete destruction, to the point where it looks like someone was murdered on the bed.

Wife is trying to deal with it, but I can’t help think we are about to lose expensive bedding... possibly even the bed itself. It’s even on the duvet... 4 layers soaked through, past the protector.

If we have to, is it “out of bounds” to seek compensation from the guest, do you think?

I suppose my gut is saying to go through our own home insurance if we lose the bed... I just can’t see myself raising an issue like this with a guest.  She obviously knows she did it, and left without saying anything, so ... bleh. Feels a bit rude on her part, but maybe she was embarrassed.

[Robin4]

@Ben551

Mate, I protect my investment!

I have two mattress protectors, and expensive Sheridan one and a cheaper one whose name escapes me now, and after each guest I strip the bed down to the second protector. I wash everything above that. Nothing has ever penetrated to that second protector Ben. Above those protectors I put a thick flat sheet to take away that plastic feel of the mattress protectors. With electric blankets and all there is a lot going on on this bed. But under all those layers my mattress still looks exactly the way it did when it went on the base.

It is not a memory foam mattress such as all electric beds have Ben! It is a really good quality pocket mattress and I have webbing staps stitched to it to keep it in place when the various sections of the bed are raised. I didn't like the feel of the memory foam mattresses, I wanted something more genuine, and it is quite an exercise to get a pocket mattress to behave like a memory foam one but, I have hit on the right combination and hardly a guest review goes by without them making some mention of the bed. And mate reviews are what it is all about....look at my latest one, I almost cried when I read this one, it just makes you feel so good!

Every time you get a review like that it makes you want to try just that bit harder for the next guest.

Ben, there is nothing you are doing wrong mate, you are putting it together. The only difference between you and me Ben......... is a couple of years!

Cheers......Rob

[Masha1]

OMIGD!!!  That's a very expensive mattress.  I don't care whether she had "control" over leaving such a large stain or not, if it happened on your watch you offer to pay.  An exception would be a rabid racoon charging in and biting her, but your bodily functions, you pay

[Susie111]

@Ben551@Robin

Get that soap it is truly amazing - has saved my bed linnen a couple of times.

I did not know if you guys had that one in NZ.

Otherwise I can send it too you 😉

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Ben551

I'm with @Suzanne302 and @Beth on this. Yes people don't have full control and yes accidents happen but what you are explaining is not just a simple accident. It it total disregard and carelessness to a point of negligence. And embarrasment is no excuse to leave other people's property that way without an apology. I mean....... what in the world has to happen to the point that it soaked thru 4 layers even thru the protector!!!!!!! 

[Susan151]

@Ben551. As others have said, this doesn't sound like normal staining. This sounds like the woman was hemorraging. The reasons for this much blood are medical– tumor growth, miscarriage are the two that come to mind immediately.

Regardless of what you decide to do in terms of communicating with this woman about the stains, do so with care. Do ask her if she is okay before diving into the mechanics or reibursement if that is the choice you make.

[Ben551]

Susan you are so right! My wife was muttering something (in her anger mind you) about it looking more like a miscarriage than a surprise normal cycle. It was a throw away statement more than anything, but your post makes me pause... I would rather chew dirt than hold some good lady for costs over something such as that...

[Susan17]

Couldn't agree more, @Susan151. Miscarriage was the first thing that came to my mind when I read this, and of course, tumour growth is a distinct possiblity too. The poor girl's health and wellbeing should be the main priority here, but it sounds from this post as if the reimbursement issue takes precedence. 

Best option - goo gle how to remove bloodstains (not a big deal), get a better mattress protector, and move on. No need to post about a guest's unfortunate personal mishap for others to chatter and speculate about, without having any inkling of the full facts. Taboo - not at all. Distasteful - absolutely. 

[Emilia42]

@Ben

If there really is that much blood, I think whether it is embarrassing or not, a simple text message after she left to alert you of the situation would have made this more comfortable for all. Running for the hills and forgetting it happened might be something I would do in a hotel, but not in a person's home. But I agree with everyone else…. Handle with care.

[Emilia42]

P.S. I put one of these mattress projectors on all of my mattresses. Then I put a mattress cover/pad on top. It encases the entire mattress and will keep out bugs, dust, and is waterproof. It's worked really well so far.

https://www.amazon.com/Utopia-Bedding-Zippered-Mattress-Encasement/dp/B00U6HREPQ?ref_=fsclp_pl_dp_1

[Ben551]

Hey thanks @Emilia42 that looks awesome! I just checked and they ship to NZ so that’s perfect. The ones we see in stores here are only like fitted sheets, plus they “say”waterproof but aren’t really...

[Ralph102]

Thanks @Ben551, you prompted me to ask a separate question to the group.   I also liked Helen's suggestion about leaving some generic feminine products in case a guest shows up and hasn't had a chance to pick any up (need to check with my wife on that one first).

Thanks for the post 🙂

-R

[Ben551]

It’s a great idea @Ralph0 - I highly recommend doing this! We have an “in case you forgot something” stash that has feminine products plus men’s razor, toothbrush, toothpaste, talcum powder, deodorant, ear plugs, and even 4 packs of disposable cotton underwear. We remember our luggage going missing on a holiday once and it took 2 days for it to arrive. The emergency supplies stash at the place we stayed at was a godsend. So far our guests have respected the stash as an “emergency” kit, and nobody has cleaned it out.

[Mark116]

@Ben551 Hydrogen peroxide and cold water can do wonders on a blood stain....but this is why we don't use expensive sheets or super expensive comforters.  We do also leave feminine products in the bathroom in the hopes of preventing such accidents.  Some people are grossed out by blood stains so they don't attempt to get them out, just throw the stuff away.  We've never had anything but a few drops here and there so we do try to launder, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.  

It's really hard to give advice on something so sensitive.  If the person left a bed of blood basically and didn't even bother to send a message that there was an accident, I would be angry.  I'm not sure I would consider it worthwile to pursue compensation but I would probably send a message to them after the review period ended and tell them that you would have really appreciated some notice on the accident.  Yeah, I'm sure she was embarassed, but she probably will never see you guys again, so sure, she doesn't want to say anything in person, but a decent person would have sent a message after checking out, a really decent person would offer to compensate you.

[Susan17]

@Mark116

Under normal circumstances, I'd completely agree that a decent person wold have sent a message after check out and offered to compensate. However, it there was so much blood that "it looked like someone had been murdered on the bed", as Ben explained, perhaps she was preoccupied with getting to a doctor or a hospital. 

[Ben551]

@Susan17 Hey that’s a good point, and one we hadn’t considered. Thinking on it now, she seemed her normal bouncy self as she said goodbye... talking about their plans for the day... off to see this and that... hrm, no I wouldn’t say she struck me as a person on her way to a hospital room... but you never know! Certainly something to have front of mind in future.

Meanwhile we have swapped our emergency backup mattress to the bed, for new guests arriving today, so we can continue to work on the damaged one. It looks like a write-off but we’ll carry on today and see.

Hey @Mark116 I tried to find Hydrogen Peroxide in NZ, but it turns out it is a restricted substance here because it can be used in making explosives. Same in the UK as of around 2014 when new regs applied. Bit of a bummer really as it would be very handy in this situation!