review suggestion required

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 4
675 Views

Happy new year everyone

 

I am just looking for some advise/recommendation how to write a constructive feedback. 

 

Guest booked a room once, 1 night. No issues with the guest but I did not like him as a person, personality crash (the guest room and the bathroom are available for guests - stated in the listing as well, the other areas are not: he was asking if he could sit next to me and watch telly together as he wants to feel me close). I politely refused it. 

 

a few weeks later, I left the country for holiday then he texted me on airbnb if the room was available. I said yes (I am not there anyway)  it was and he can do self-check-in. he then said that he got no mobile data but he will text me on whatsapp (how if no mobile data). but then he started calling me, texting me that he will pay me cash and he needs to the lockpad code. I told him that i am not negotiating outside of airbnb and if he wants to stay, he has to book it through the app. he was then saying that I should know him well enough now to allow him to pay cash. then he was texting non-stop: 43 messages within 5 mins: I am outside, it is cold, please send over the lockcode, it is very cold etc...

then in the end, he booked the room. he got in, started using the kitchen (I asked my boyfriend to go over just in case) which was allowed as part of the listing. he then asked if i can borrow him pyjamas. obviously i told him that it is not part of the listing, and then I told him that the check-out is 8am, and leave the key under the doormat. next day he was calling me crazy (I was still asleep) asking where to leave the key. 

 

so what sort of feedback would you leave to the guest? i now removed instant booking because i do not want him to book my room again. 

11 Replies

Re: review suggestion required

in
KCMO, MO
Level 10

@Dora31 

Ugh. What a creepy experience!

I always worry about being TOO specific in a bad review for fear that it will somehow be taken down at the guest's request. But in this case, I think some specifics might be...important. 

 

This was Steven's second and last stay with me. He wanted to borrow my pajamas. This is not an amenity that I willingly offer my guests. I do not recommend him to future home share hosts. 

 

Re: review suggestion required

in
England, United Kingdom
Level 10

@Dora31 Yucky yuck yuck.

The thing about "feeling you close" was all I'd have needed to cancel on the grounds of creeping and the rest of it...well you did well to stick to the platform here and I'd be going 1* communication 1* house rules and a definite No to hosting again. Plus, something in the review about not recommending him to single female hosts.

Re: review suggestion required

in
England, United Kingdom
Level 10

Hoping someone else will see this and comment.

Re: review suggestion required

in
Sayulita, Mexico
Level 10

@Dora31  I don't understand what you mean "no issues with the guest". There are a lot of issues with this guest. This was not a "personality clash"- this guy behaves in a creepy, stalking manner and should not be allowed to book home-share situations with female hosts. 

Please write an honest review- "This guest made inappropriate sexual overtures to the host, and harrassed me with phone calls and texts when he had been clearly asked not to communicate outside of Airbnb. Not recommended." I would also flag his profile and contact Airbnb to let them know about his inappropriate behavior, as well as his efforts to get you to book outside the platform. That last part may be enough to cause them to close his account, which it should be.

Re: review suggestion required

in
Berlin, Germany
Level 10

@Dora31  I agree with @Sarah977 's review, except I would leave out the word "sexual." Any direct mention of sex or drugs is all but guaranteed to get a review removed.

Re: review suggestion required

in
Mount Barker, Australia
Level 10

@Dora31 

This guest has broken so many guest etiquette rules that I would have thought this review would have been straightforward to write!

1/... He attempted to invade your personal space, The fact that chose to accept your boundary does not excuse the attempt on his part.

2/...He attempted to entice the host into a reservation outside the Airbnb system. Airbnb could conceivable penalise both of you for that.....and you a superhost would know that. Good on you for standing your ground there.

3/....He attempted to use possessions of yours that are clearly not offered in the listing description.

4/....He refused to adhere to your house rules.

 

Was there anything about his stays that was acceptable Dora?

 

@Sarah977  Sarah has made some good points here as far as this guest trying to book outside the platform. I am not sure how far you wish to push this Dora. You have come here for advice about writing the review, and my feeling is, you don't want to totally crucify this guy, you just want to give him a wake up call. I might be wrong but that's the way your post comes across and if that is the case you, in the review system, maybe say something like this.....

 

"xxxxxxxx was a pleasant guest who kept his space in good clean condition and could, with a little more thought, make an acceptable guest. I enjoyed his company but he struggled with my house rules and the boundaries of my personal space. I wish him well for the future but would prefer to decline the opportunity to host him again!"

 

Dora by saying something like that you have told future guests you would not wish to have him back again, so you have warned others. You haven't accused him of being anything other than thoughtless, you have simply said he was not your cup of tea. That is your perception, and that is allowed in the review.

 

But if you do want to just call a spade a spade review him as Sarah has said and hope that he is removed from the platform!

 

*

 

I have said before here Dora, my feeling is, it is always wise for a female host who hosts alone to give the impression in the listing description that there is a 'significant other' in the wings. There are some weirdos out there who need to be informed that certain boundaries are to be respected. You can say something like...."My partner is always available should you not be able to contact me personally" Obviously don't give other contact details but, a statement like that reinforces the perception that you, are not part of the listing description!

 

All the best with the review Dora.

 

Cheers........Rob

  

Re: review suggestion required

in
Sayulita, Mexico
Level 10

@Robin4  I have to disagree with you on this one. I wouldn't for an instant pussyfoot around this guest's behavior in the review and he was far from a "pleasant guest". Why would you suggest saying something like that? Quite frankly, I'm shocked that you did. I've read far too many reports from female hosts here of male guests exhibiting these kinds of behaviors and they should be called out loudly and clearly. Telling a host he wants to "feel you close", phoning and texting her when she has made it utterly clear that she doesn't accept that communication, and asking to borrow her pajamas is creepy and wholly unacceptable. It's 2020- any man who still isn't aware of what is acceptable behavior as far as how and where and when it's appropriate to let a woman know he finds her attractive is living under a rock and shouldn't be allowed to book home-shares.

Not every female host is as able to shut down unwanted advances as this host was and some female hosts would have felt extremely threatened and fearful about this guy. He doesn't belong on the platform anymore than a guest who throws a party and trashes a host's home does.

Re: review suggestion required

in
Mount Barker, Australia
Level 10

@Sarah977 

Sarah, just a couple of observations!

You know this platform as well as I do, and you know what happens to reviews that are overly critical....they get removed! All a guest has to do these days is say "The host just didn't like me and has told a pack of lies"....and next thing you know, the hosts review disappears.

Sarah, a review is only worthwhile to others if it is visible!

I am not disagreeing with what you are saying, the guest is a downright creep. I stated that in the start of my post.......'Was there anything about his stays that was acceptable Dora?'

 

@Dora31  came here after advice on how she should word her review. She prefaced her comments by saying........"Guest booked a room once, 1 night. No issues with the guest but I did not like him as a person", so I gathered what Dora is saying, she did not like this guy, personality clash! But only Dora can tell us if she wants to cane him for that. The way I read her post, she didn't know how to review him and was looking for advice....You gave her one alternative, I gave another. I am not saying I am right and you are wrong, or vice versa. Dora came here for advice and that is what we try to offer. Some times we have to play the part of devils advocate because we can't get inside the enquirers mind.

What I was seeking was a diplomatic way of saying to other people that this guest was not ok and I would not host him again. Now, you can go in with a big verbal stick and have the review disappear or, you can tactfully warn others to stay away without risking repercussions from the guest....he does after all know Dora's personal phone number, her address and possibly her email.

 

All I was saying Sarah is, the 'Bull in the China shop' approach is not always the best thing to do!

But others will be the judge of that!

Not having a go at you mate, I respect you too much for that........just offering an alternative!  

 

Cheers.......Rob  

Re: review suggestion required

in
Sayulita, Mexico
Level 10

@Robin4  We talk a lot on this forum about how reviews should be honest. Why would a host who has been harrassed by a guest, especially a female host who is having to fend off creepy sexually-charged behavior and language, say in a review that the guest was pleasant and that she enjoyed spending time with him? It's blatantly evident that she didn't enjoy spending time with him. So saying something like that in the review is just a bald lie. 

There is a vast difference between writing a balanced review which mentions some positive aspects of a guest stay and also the negative, and saying nice things about a guest who was not nice. It's always important to keep it professional, and of course we don't want to write something that will get the review taken down. 

You gave Dora a sample review which is simply untrue, portrays the guest in a different light than what she indicated  and after said, "You haven't accused him of being anything other than thoughtless", as if this is a good thing. Trying to snuggle up to your female host, phoning and texting her when she has made it clear that she only communicates through the platform, and asking to borrow her pajamas (extremely creepy and weird) isn't thoughtless- it's entirely disrespectful and bizarre. 

Letting a guest get away with this type of inappropriate behavior is not okay and women have for far too long shouldered responsibility for men's disrespect (I must have given him the wrong message, I shouldn't have been so friendly, Maybe I'm just imagining things, Maybe he didn't mean it that way, I guess we had a personality clash).

It's outrageous that a female host should have to make up a non-existent boyfriend (altho in Dora's case, she indicates that she does have a boyfriend) to keep herself safe from unwanted advances. This is exactly what the Me Too movement is about.

Re: review suggestion required

in
Lincoln, Canada
Level 10

@Sarah977 Really well said... women are encouraged to be nice and smile even when they're dealing with ridiculous, unacceptable behavior, as this guest's behavior clearly was. He wasn't pleasant: he was a creep, plain and simple. No need to kiss his ass or suggest otherwise.

 

Who the heck asks to borrow a host's pajamas?

Re: review suggestion required

in
London, United Kingdom
Level 4

just a quick update. so after all, i did leave a negative review for the guest, also saying that I would not host him again. I was very honest and said i felt uncomfortable as a female host, and the whole pajamas thing and his comments etc etc. 

to my surprise, guest messaging me on airbnb: just checking if everything is okay with you (2 weeks after i left a comment). 

I did not reply. then i saw a reservation request from him that I declined telling him that I do not feel comfortable. 

I blocked his number on whatsapp, sms etc. but anyway i can block him on the site as well? 

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