Dealing with a guest that keeps asking when you’re going out...

[Stephanie1750]

So I hosted for my first time It was fine it was slightly strange at first for me having someone in my house especially in older man and I’m 26 year old female.

I could tell as soon as he arrived he wanted privacy and it was fairly late we didn’t talk much but we had the odd conversation during the stay and he was perfectly polite and friendly. I just started to feel a little bit weary when the first day he text me when I was going to be back if I was going out - I let him know that I was planning to go out in the evening.

And then the second day he does the same thing he asked when I’m going to be around and when I’m not over text... at this point I was thinking a little bit concerned that he wanted to know when I was in the premise. I think the third day he actually came up to me in person asked me if I was planning to go out later and at this point I was getting a little bit fed up because obviously the room is up for rent up not the whole flat.... he was asking about if the main TV in the living room could link up to a phone even though he has a TV in his private room.

I don’t know if that was a excuse/ decoy as in my reaction I was a little bit more Iffy with him asking yet again when I was going out. I let him know he’s more than welcome to watch TV whenever. For the majority of this stay I stayed in my room because I didn’t want to get in his way and felt a little uncomfortable. He was only paying £35 night but he seem very happy when he left but he left four days earlier than he planned to say that he had ‘all clear to go home’ he didn’t actually tell me his reasoning for coming even though I asked him..

I was just wonder if anyone else had the same issue with a guest asking about whether you’re going to be in or out repetitively? And if I was rightfully allowed to feel a little annoyed on the third/forth time of him asking me.. 

[Ute42]

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@Stephanie1750 

Well done.

[Helen350]

This saying he had the 'all clear' to go home.... Could it be that he was self-isolating, maybe from someone he lived with who might have had suspected Covid? Then maybe the 'all clear meant his partner tested negative? Maybe he was cagey, cos he did not want to admit to possibly being infectious? Maybe he wanted reassurance you were going out so there was less chance of infecting you?

- Without these Covid times, I'd be drawing the same creepy conclusions as the other women  above.... and thinking, What a cheek, to resent you being in your own house! 

@Stephanie1750  

[Helen350]

... or as you say he might have had a row with his wife? - One of my trickiest hostings was a young man who'd fallen out with his girlfriend who he lived with at New Year. I got a poor review through 'lack of amenities.' - Most guests don't need amenities, they are out at work, or seeing the sights. But a man fallen out with gf on  2 Jan, & still off work just didn't know what to do with himself, hence the grumpy review!

[Sarah977]

@Helen350  I've read a couple posts here over time where guests actually had the unmitigated gall to ask the host of a home-share if they could go stay somewhere else so the guest could have the whole house to themselves.

[Stephanie1750]

I find that so disrespectful! God people really do think they’re too important that they’d ask you’d to leave you’re own house what the heck!😫😫

[Stephanie1750]

@Helen350 sorry for my late reply I do understand what you’re saying but I did give him a chance to give me the honest truth and I wouldn’t of been opposed to him staying if he had a suspected covid family member. When we were talking he didn’t seem to have social distance and he wasn’t trying to keep at an obvious length from me. Also we would be using the same shower and kitchen so it makes little sense. You could be right but at the same time it’s completely unfair for someone to ask if I’m leaving constantly, if he was that worried I’m sure he would’ve just rented out an entire place? I don’t like to go towards those types of conclusions and in hindsight it probably wasn’t anything too cynical but I’m sure there was something I didn’t know! 

[Helen350]

@Stephanie1750 I agree 100% that it's wrong to be constantly asking you when you're going out. In no way was I defending your unreasonable guest, just thinking laterally re an explanation. Absolutely, a guest should NOT resent the presence of the host in a shared listing, and no host should be made to feel unwelcome in their own home. If the guest wants privacy, they should stay in their room, and if they want absolute privacy they should book an entire place, not a shared home.