Getting jaded about how clueless ABB guests are... Help?

[Kelly149]

Below lies the VERY LONG saga of 24 hours in the life of an ABB host when clueless guests invade your inbox with nary a clue about how to travel in the adult world...

Read if your inbox is less exciting. Please advise if you're able. 🙂

Thursday 1233 AM - A guest whose profile says they are in same state/same time zone as me sends me a Reservation Request for dates in November.

Good News: they have to send the request bc they're asking for 3 days in a time when I've set a 5 day minimum.

Bad News: they want to stay for 3 days instead of 5 and checkout at 10am on Thanksgiving Day. They also have a brand new, entirely blank profile, haven't read my listing and their message says "looking forward to exploring the city and enjoying your place"

Thursday 1239 am - I send a message bc 1 - she hasn't read my listing 2- she has a new profile

"Hi there! We've received your message, Thanks for inquiring and Welcome to the Barn!!

We appreciate that you've found us, please read the whole listing including the House Rules. There you'll find the "Hidden Questions" awaiting your response (you may need to click the + Read More button to see the full rules text and a full-size device is always easier for detail reading on the listing). Knowing that you've read the whole listing helps us assure successful stays at the Barn.

Also, this week is currently set to allow longer stays (4+ days) that don't include a checkout on Thanksgiving Day. Were your plans for that week flexible?

Please let me know if you have any questions, we look forward to meeting you! Thank you, Kelly Wheelock

PS...
What brings you to the area?
Who are you coming with?
Do you know your arrival time?
Does your Guest Profile tell us enough about YOU to know who we'll be hosting??"

I also attach links about how to create a good profile & a generic these are good guest behaviors article from ABB Help Center.

Friday 915am - She answers, no they've made flights already (her profile says she lives 3 hours from me, not a location people would normally fly from), can I make any adjustments? She addresses none of the other things I've said.

Friday 1015 - 

Good morning XXXXX! The cleaners charge a 'holiday surcharge' for checkouts on holidays, if you'd like to cover that then I could adjust. ($65)
Also, I'd want you to have read the full listing before I confirm your booking since you become obligated to those terms.
Come back and tell me what you think of that after you read those. Thanks! Kelly

Friday 1142 -

Good Morning Kelly! I dont mind covering $65. Will you be able to do some adjustments on the checkout time on Thursday then? Its completely okay if you arent okay with it.
Also, will we have access to oven by any chance? Because we were wondering if we could bake

Friday 1215 - She still hasn't read the listing!! I know this because we dont have an OVEN!!

XXXX, please go ahead and read the listing on a full-size computer. The kitchen is covered extensively in text and in photos. We’re more setup for snacks & reheating rather than full-size baking. If you’d rather stay throughout the day on Thursday then yes, you can stay as long as you like if you select purchasing Thursday night. With a late Thursday checkout then the cleaners would come at 10am Friday morning so you’d have the room rate for Thursday but not the holiday surcharge. Up to you which you’d prefer.

Friday 1223 - 

Okay Kelly. Got it. I have read the listing and instructions. I would like to go ahead and confirm the booking.

*At this point, I'm ready to give up, hit decline and be done with this girl bc SHE STILL HASN'T READ THE LISTING!!! But I have until midnight, so I just let it sit for a bit

Friday 130 - Second guest hits Inquiry in my inbox and she wants to checkin TOMORROW

Hi Kelly 🙂 I am a tired Momma who is looking for a quiet nature-filled getaway. Does the Barn sound like it fits those parameters? Is there a place to sit outside?

**** Now I have 2 of these girls at once, seriously, does the barn have a place to sit outside? Is the thumbnail photo of a porch swing???

Friday 217

Guest1: Please dont hesitate to reach out if you have any questions/concerns. Looking forward to the stay 🙂

*Oh dear, deep breathing.... I'm still weighing punting this girl or asking a 3rd time

Friday 241, responding to Guest 2

Hi xxxx! I get being a tired Momma right now! Are you looking at the Real Texas Barn listing? I'm concerned that you can't see the photos of the porches, those are usually fairly prominent in the listing.

Friday 509, Good host in me wins out, responding to Guest 1

Hey, sorry! I must have missed a message somewhere. From what I can see on my end: your profile is incomplete, I don’t have an answer back from you about Thursday/Friday and your departure time and that section that says “make sure you answer these questions” I haven’t seen that back either.
Our internet has been having issues today so I apologize if you’ve already sent this info. Please try again. Thanks!

Friday 523

We will check out on Thursday at 10 am and we are willing to pay the cleaning charges of $65 as well

*seriously......

Friday 535

To answer your question in the instruction section, I have not made any prior airbnb booking and there are no roosters in the barn

Please let me know if you need any additional information from my end.

***Hallelujah, we've made it.... At this point I'm seriously thinking that @Robin4  is right, IB is better and this nonsense is for the birds

Friday 601, Guest 1

I say "great, I'll accept your booking now, look for the email to come from me with your rental contract, etc... btw you should add an email to your profile and download the app, yadda yadda, thanks so much" Whew!! Problem solved... have a booking... new guest, but we've managed...

Friday 612, Guest 2

xxxxx, are you there? It takes abb a full 24 hours to prepare/process a new reservation for arrival, so we're running out of time for a Saturday arrival, though I'm happy to discuss Sunday if that's better for you. Lmk how I can help, thanks, Kelly

Saturday 1224

Kelly, we had to change our plans because of which we had to cancel. We are so sorry for the inconvenience caused.

And still no word from Guest 2 AND I got the email from ABB informing me that the guest who spelled out their WhatsApp phone number in an inquiry last week was removed for being a scammer, shocker.

UGH! I have a hair-trigger reaction to clueless already, and days like this aren't helping!! How do you keep your resolve when guests are this obtuse? What would you have done?

[Claire2428]

I have learned through only a few months that drama before they get here = drama when they are here = they leave a bad review regardless of how much I've flexed for them.  DECLINE.