How to handle a guest who left a surprise in the bathroom

[Karina522]

Hi,

My current guest checked in yesterday and was very friendly when I let him in. I host a private studio space for guests. There is  a shared bathroom that Is shared between myself and  my guests. I live in a studio next door.

About an hour after  checking him in I went into the newly cleaned bathroom as I clean up for every new guest that arrives and found small drips/ remnants of diarrhoea on the toilet bowl and floor! 

I had to pee so badly at that moment I didn’t think and just grabbed gloves, paper towels, wipes and bleach and cleaned the area and floor thoroughly so that i could use the bathroom myself. I wish now I had not touched it at all and asked my guest to tend to the mess himself. I did alert him immediately with a message about how they left the bathroom very unclean and that I do not usually clean up these things for guests and would appreciate them being more cleanly and thoughtful moving forward.  I understand a possible accident but I don’t understand not turning around to check how you left things afterwards.

This person is staying with me for a total of 4 nights. I know he saw my message but he never responded, never apologised either. Any suggestions on how I should review this guest when he leaves? Especially if everything is left fine aside from this primary and very disgusting incident? 

[Sarah977]

@Karina522   I fail to see what you perceive as "male centered" about Andrew's response.

In any case, here's a response from another female host.

If your guests share a bathroom with you, your listing is most definitely not an Entire Studio. An entire place listing means that there are no common areas that guests share with the host or anyone else. That is not open to interpretation- it's clearly explained in the Airbnb information. So as it stands, your listing is innaccurate.

While it's certainly gross that you had to deal with this, I wouldn't have any conversation with the guest about this unless it happens again

 You sent him a message, and just because he didn't answer (he was likely embarrassed) doesn't mean it will be ignored.

If this was a guest who was staying for weeks and had left the bathroom disgusting more than once, then it would definitely need to be discussed. But a 4 day guest who booked an entire place that isn't that would have good reason to call you out on the shared bathroom in his review if you make some big deal about it.

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

I agree 100% with @Sarah977 

[Mary996]

Hi @Branka-and-Silvia0 . Hope this finds you well. Can you help me out with as to which aspects of the above  exactly that you agree with?

I am asking out of concern about your stance and that this could deteriorate so that our experimental Host might start to feel  attacked  or that she is the butt of some kind of competition as to who is the best dispenser of advice.  Whereas in fact its intended to be all round helpful suggestions and observations the sum of which I'm sure Karina you'll be taking on board.  Its hugely helpful that other Hosts have gone into the whole picture and if @Karina522 wanted to continue hosting (which I really hope you might in between more settled tenants for example)...I'm sure you might  re-consider this Listing and possibly ammend from 'self contained' to Private room in order to over deliver.

I'm uncomfortable about some of the tone being used here and question the need to take sides particularly in light of some of the language used which is quite inflammatory and the force of opinion which actually comes over as having nothing to do with the Questioners questions.

[Dale711]

Salute @Mary996 ,

I am totally agree with you ! Hat off !

[Mary996]

xxxx but hang on Dale with which points do you agree???? I ask for the avoidance of doubt since above we hear that @Karina522  had "misunderstood" (its a failing to misunderstand... can be lazy, can be disrespectful, can be disinterested - especially when there is an imbalance of power and 'understanding' conflicts with the benefits conferred by any particular status quo. To misunderstand can be a transferance or a projection of fault, a weakness or failing on the part of the one observing  by stating that the other party allegedly 'misunderstood'....!! whe in fact the party laying this observation was in fact the 'misunderstander').

Someone else stated here that they 'agreed'. But with what ... ??? so dear Dale... account(!!!!) with what did you agree????

[Dale711]

@Mary996 

Yes. That’s true ! I take your point!  🌹

[Sarah977]

@Mary996  You asked me some time ago not to tag you or respond in a thread you start, which I have completely respected until now.

So please do not sneakily and passively-aggressively take exception to my posts by asking other posters what they agreed with in my posts and talking about what I post and what I misunderstood without mentioning me by name.

If you expect others to respect your requests, you should show some respect yourself.

[Mary996]

I have appreciated you not tagging me (inorder to force me to listen to the most odious complaining 'without proposing any solution' material that you constantly impart). Thank you for not tagging me and please don't start tagging me again unless and until we work this out (which we should be able to do). By the way can you explain why my post elsewhere was down graded in connection with your Private Message (why announce to everyone that you are 'pm'ing someone???). Passive aggression has been your style, very much so I'm afrais so you really are desribing yourself... but I am happy to agree not to replicate that as far as possible. In this instance however it was not possible. The things you say are just so ..... I don't know Sarah so .... I can't find the words .... so.... (passive aggressive???).

I have tried to intereact with you by liking some of the inspiring and personal things that you have said. I will continue to do that (unless you would prefer that I didn't).

But I think you are actually describing yourself with the turn of phrase 'passive aggressive'. I like to try to resolve all things were this is possible. But it requires mutual receptivity and I'm not finding this in my encounters with you Sarah. So I will continue not to tag you and prefer that you didn't tag me for the time being... until we reach a better understanding of each other dear Sarah which I'm sure will come in time. 

[Sarah977]

@Mary996  And now you persist. I took objection to you commenting on my posts indirectly and when I said passive-aggressive, I was referring to that only.

Yet you are now personally attacking my character and my posts in general.

Just stop.

And what on earth does me telling another poster I have PMed them have to do with you? People do that all the time here and on other forums, because sometimes people don't notice they have a PM. I have no idea what you are talking about re your post being "downgraded".

[Mary996]

I accept what you say in the matter of the PM.

...."you persist" ....I was replying to you with respect to your criticisms. For my part I am prepared to go into this, or not go into this, but I had to ask you not to tag me as you were interferring with my participation here.  Since making this request things have greatly improved for me.

I would however prefer to work things out and I am genuinely curious as to why we are clashing to such a degree.

I am aware that we on someone else's thread but I have the feeling that that would be sympathetically tolerated and support offered towards reaching a resolution. I do find you aggressive, not always passively so, and I am not prepared to be the butt of this. That doesn't mean I believe that we couldn't work this out. 

[Karina522]

@Mary996 

Thank you! ❤️ Much appreciation of your support here! Cheers to you! xoxo. 

[Karina522]

Hi All I appreciate all of your points of view. I was very clear in my original message and I did check in with him today just to see how things are going which went well! I think checking in was ideal as it made us both feel a bit more comfortable and personable. My point about male centering is I have noticed from past issues with bathroom cleanliness individuals have responded about shielding men from embarrassment a lot and I want to be thoughtful about that.  I once researched airbnb about a guest who kept leaving urine on the toilet bowl and so many individuals advised to dodge a direct notification to him which I thought was just unacceptable. A few even referenced his mother never teaching him how to use the bathroom correctly. I have never seen this type of response when referencing women which is why I brought it up. Especially the notion of saving his ego at my own expense.  That is not ok. It's fine to inform individuals of behavior that is simply not considerate. I think not informing them leaves room for more maltreatment in the future.  

Cheers and thanks to you all.

@Sarah977  and all ❤️

[Sarah977]

@Karina522  You may have misunderstood my comments. If a female host shares a bathroom with guests and a male guest has sloppy aim and consistently leaves urine on the seat, that's not okay and should be mentioned, unless the guest is only there for 1 night. I don't share a bathroom with guests, but if I did, I'd mention something like that casually and with a bit of humor, like "Hey man, I couldn't help but notice your poor aim in the bathroom- we gals sit down to pee, ya know. I put some wipes on the back of the toilet, much appreciated if you could wipe down the seat after use. (And don't flush those wipes or I'll have to call a plumber!)"

It just seemed that while what you had to clean up was way beyond the call of duty, it was hopefully a one-off and not necessarily something the guest would do again. I would have messaged him about it as well, but then assumed he got it, and not that it had to be discussed further unless it happened again.

[Mary996]

Hey that's great @Karina522 ... had every confidence that you'd address this appropriately and without offence. Oh gosh I so agree with you about not standing down. And the mother...haha oh yes always the mother's fault ...being female!! You sound like just the kind of seasoned feminist I love relating to xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Be the strong woman at the heart of change xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Mary996]

@Karina522 we sit down to pee. Ah yes absolutely!! In fact that's a house rule with me. Gentleman remain seated throughout the entire performance.  No need for signs or explanations there's only room to be seated... so much easier!!

My home is not a urinal...!!!