How to handle a guest who left a surprise in the bathroom

[Karina522]

Hi,

My current guest checked in yesterday and was very friendly when I let him in. I host a private studio space for guests. There is  a shared bathroom that Is shared between myself and  my guests. I live in a studio next door.

About an hour after  checking him in I went into the newly cleaned bathroom as I clean up for every new guest that arrives and found small drips/ remnants of diarrhoea on the toilet bowl and floor! 

I had to pee so badly at that moment I didn’t think and just grabbed gloves, paper towels, wipes and bleach and cleaned the area and floor thoroughly so that i could use the bathroom myself. I wish now I had not touched it at all and asked my guest to tend to the mess himself. I did alert him immediately with a message about how they left the bathroom very unclean and that I do not usually clean up these things for guests and would appreciate them being more cleanly and thoughtful moving forward.  I understand a possible accident but I don’t understand not turning around to check how you left things afterwards.

This person is staying with me for a total of 4 nights. I know he saw my message but he never responded, never apologised either. Any suggestions on how I should review this guest when he leaves? Especially if everything is left fine aside from this primary and very disgusting incident? 

[Dale711]

Salute @Mary996 

I certainly not the 100% gentleman, cause my mom do taught me seated to pxx whenever I in her home. Don’t try to laugh ! 

[Mary996]

@Dale711 

Now I am confused. I thought I had been in dialogue with a woman? And a feminist at that??? 

Brilliant that your mother taught you so well....Dan?? Have you come in on the conversation?? Helloooo if so xxxxxxxxxxxx

In Europe its the norm to courteously be seated I found. And in Germany for males to not sit ...Quelle Horreur!!

[Karina522]

Yesss! I don't play with that! haha. People don't realize how much the expectation to put up with such behavior is actually put on women. I'm simply not for it. I will also say. I tried to be polite with my first male guest who left pee every single day and night until finally I had to speak with him directly one morning. I was getting ready for work and literally had to knock on his door and show him the urine on the toilet seat and tell him to wipe up after every single use! Isn't that crazy!

Originally, I spoke with him via text and then even one time in person but it was not until I literally I dragged him into the bathroom like a child that his behavior changed! Was so odd to have to deal with. But once again, the embarrassment of the confrontation is what made him change his behavior. 

@Mary996 

@Sarah977  - I was not calling you out Sarah, just saying my point of view. Especially since I think we forget the microaggressions women go through sometimes with issues like this. It's easy to not see it as a male centric issue. But yes I have tried to do it the sweet jokey way and it almost never works for me. They need to be treated like full blown adults I think. 

Also it's interesting to see this convo has grown so much! I wasn't expecting it!

Cheers and happy hosting y'all ❤️

[Sarah977]

@Karina522  I was travelling with my then 15 year old grandson and we stayed for a couple of nights with a female friend of mine. I saw he had left the toilet seat up in the bathroom ( which I guess is better than peeing on it) and explained to him that if he is residing with females, it's polite to put the seat down after, as it's really annoying, as a woman, to stumble into the bathroom bleary-eyed and half asleep, go to sit down, only to have one's butt fall into the bowl.

He thought that was really funny, he'd never considered or pictured that before.

I told him he'd be really appreciated by the women throughout his life when they saw he always put the seat back down.

Same could be said about not leaving evidence on the toilet seat.

[Mary996]

Wow! .... @Karina522 . I am in awe.

Well done you. That cannot have been easy. And yes it was crazy. Talk about a blind spot!! 

What do you think about the principle of expecting Guests to be seated on the lavatory?  Its traditional now in Germany. Men just sit as a matter of course and would no longer dream of standing up than women would.  Is this the next step for Airbnb....??

Males can no longer assume the right to pee all over the place. Standing up makes the urinal mentality much more likely. 

Karina thanks for staying on with us. We're a chatty lot and Airbnb is going through some changes. We are in the process of supporting the creation of an interim level of communication/management and its quite exciting. You have such a great attitude. Would you consider hanging around and maybe helping out with others questions on the boards? No obligation but you might enjoy it and we could really do with some stronger feminist perspectives.

So great to meet you xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Karina522]

@Mary996 Hey ! this has been fun! I love talking about topics that are tough but necessary and being upfront while also maintaining respect. So yes I would love to keep discussing in the future. I also feel it would be great if men sat down to go pee!

Then none of this would be an issue. But alas, so many here love to sprinkle all over the place and then wonder why women in their lives are grumpy. 

@Sarah977 I just saw your responses! Yes exactly! Your nephew is lucky he had you to give him a headsup at 15. But can you imagine all the men out there who never got that lesson? Now they are full blown adults who do not consider the women's experience in their lives. Thanks for this short story it is exactly what i was getting at 🙂

Much appreciation to your reflection on the issue and shared story! 

xx - KS

[Sarah977]

@Karina522 My ex never got that lesson either, even though he grew up with 3 sisters. He was well aware that women got fussed about the seat being left up, but thought it was for aesthetic reasons only, that we just don't like the way it looks, not the very practical reason I mentioned above. 

Besides, who wants to have to touch the toilet seat to lower it every time you have to go pee? 

[Karina522]

@Sarah977 It's so real! haha The every day experience of being a woman in a male centric world! You know after dealing with my first guest I realized the experience actually left me with a negative feeling every time I entered my bathroom even after he left. I realized later it was because he was not respecting, despite my offering respect to him. Respect should always be mutual. That's just human to human business.

I like to consider this when people tell me suck it up or clean up after another person in ways that would require me to leave my self respect at the door. If what they are doing has literally shifted my experience in my own home and disrupted a peacefulness within my life, then they are taking away something invaluable to me and my value system and or depiction of natural rights within humanity . Yes, of course I am running a business but, I cannot allow that no matter who they are. I should at the very least be upfront and respectful with them to maintain my own dignity and to return my sense of self respect back to myself. Otherwise I'm being socially oppressed. I realized later it's because I kept sweet and quiet for too long that I then had residual negative feelings about the experience for so long. Time is literally invaluable, so how you feel, and your experience in this life matters. I don't believe anyone should ever have the right to take that from you. Even in as seemingly a small interaction as using the bathroom. 

Side note: there are a lot of countries that survive off of tourism and hospitality / hotel businesses and in many of these situations, these beautiful places and their local residents have felt and been deeply oppressed. This is something I think a lot about when I travel. I never want anyone who is offering me hospitality to feel like they are less important or less valued than me. It is possible to offer a beautiful experience to your guests while also maintaining self respect. This goes as well for informing men of poor habits in restrooms. lol 

Ok i gotta get outta here! It's gym day!  ❤️ peace sign y'all! 

[Dale711]

@Karina522 @Anonymous @Sarah977 @Branka-and-Silvia0 @Branka-and-Silvia0 @Mary996 

[Dale711]

@Anonymous @Sarah977 @Branka-and-Silvia0 ,

In France, Studio as the same as “ Tout de studio prive” 

In the early 18th, there were” Chambers de Bonne” “ The Maid Room” 

As present, we usually call “ Parisien Studio”  or “ The Whole Studio Apartments  + Shared Bathroom and Shared  Toilet”

As a mater of fact, 80% of the  Parisien Studio are without bathroom/ toilet. 
Yet, we still name Whole Studio Apartment.

Technically, yours’e  correct, shouldn’t name the listing “ Entire”  

Generally, the listing is accurate as the fact of  “ CURRENTLY FULLY FURNISHED, bright, quaint studio with closet, kitchenette  +  shared with host bathroom”

In the listing description clearly announced, 

Fact #2 - This studio is virtually private except for the bathroom 

In the listing section of  guest access specific 

Fact # 3- You have access to the full studio and shared bathroom 

Fact # 4-  Refrigerator, microwave, washing sink, dining table with chair , work desk with stool, microwave, closet, sofa, armchair and lamp + queen size bed, rug, non active fire place +++++

Q ? As amenities above are possible completely fix in the “ Private Room”? 

With my respect, did yours listing keep 2 doors refrigerator in the “ Private Room” ? 

Fact # 5 - Private Entrance 

Ordinary correctly as “ Guest Suits” 

Simply add in the title as “ Entire guest suite + shared with host bathroom”

Therefor, in my personal thoughts @Karina522  listing generically is accurate.

Final fact # As present, reviews from all the guests are perfection.

Q ? Is tomato is a fruit ?

A - Yes, a tomato is a fruit 

Q? Why tomato in the display section of vegetable ?

A- Tomato are fruits that are considered vegetable by nutritionists.

Technically VS Generally or Practically !
In effect not necessarily officially the case but what actually occurs. 

[Sarah977]

@Dale711  I know that what people in one country mean by something can vary with what that means in another country. I think in Europe the floor of a building where you would have walk up one flight of stairs is referred to as the first floor? Whereas in North America, that would be called the second floor- the first floor is the ground-level entrance.

Does Airbnb have different descriptions of what consitutes an "Entire suite" in France than it does in other places? 

Even though the OP clearly states in the listing that the bathroom is shared,  my concern would be that if that isn't what Airbnb considers and describes as "Entire", it could lead to guests feeling they were misled, leaving a bad review, or complaining to Airbnb and demanding a refund. 

I never thought this host was trying to misrepresent her listing,  just that it could lead to trouble for her if it doesn't match Airbnb's descriptions.

[Karina522]

@Dale711 

Dale and Dan! 

Thank you so much! I agree.  I also feel if you do not know much about living in NYC or as it appears France / Paris as well, you may not understand why my space should not be listed as a room. To do so is inaccurate. I really appreciate your support here! It would be a major disservice and taking advantage of what I am offering which I would never allow, so thank you! 

Of course I looked for an option to list my space as a "nearly" fully private studio but since Air bnb does not have that option the best I could do was list very clearly what I am offering. 

I do think hosts providing advice should be careful about sharing thoughts without doing research outside of their own perspectives. It can get pretty inaccurate if you are not considering location, culture and commonplace according to the layout of residencies in the area. I live in a brownstone and this is a common way of living here in Brooklyn, NY. You pay much more for these studios than a room so no I would not be able to list it as one. 

Mostly I appreciate you standing up for me because that's just badass of you. And I love that. You came with all the receipts!  Thanks again 🙂 

@Anonymous  @Sarah977  @Branka-and-Silvia0  - I'm sure you all meant well but these notes are helpful from from @Dale711  

Not everything is a square peg or a round hole. Sometimes 'ish is a diamond cut haha. What then? There's always a grey area to be addressed.

Cheers, - KS

[Sarah977]

@Karina522  Yes, unfortunately Airbnb doesn't provide enough options for some things which really should have them, yet think it's important to have the option to list the brand of refrigerator you have 🙂

In my case, they have no option for the type of Wifi I have, which is cell-based and accessed via using the phone as a hot-spot.

They also have no option for a French Press coffee maker, even though so many people use those. They have "pour over coffee", which is a term I never heard before in my life, and have no idea what it means.

[Dale711]

@Anonymous 

*personal comments removed*

Since last December,  my previous listings were no longer available, I decided to rent out with a low rental rate to the group of internship students as a permanent tenant. In as much as, they always need help and support in the pandemic situation.

The average monthly salary in Paris is not 1900euro after tax! Otherwise, nobody could afford to live here. Student internship salary is poorly paid  600euro - 800euro, housing benefits are limited. They barely can pay the rent. I would not want to see the young people lost their dreams and take a pause because of the facing accommodations issue.

That explains why my listing is brand new, nevertheless with 700++ reviews.

As I purchased another place continue with Airbnb.  Hosting is my passion and side income, beside the Airbnb listings, I also have other platforms of the private room, studios and entries apartment, we manage over 18 housings and definitely, more will come.

I'm so glad to hosted over thousand of Airbnb guests and surely with keep up with Airbnb

*personal comments removed*

Look out for my new post

“ Don’t let negative people keep you from seeing all the positive still around !” 

Peace 

[Mary996]

@Dale711 

Help me with this matter. I need to understand.

It may be time to call someone out. My strategy has been personal I was unaware that others have also been affected and that is not ok.

Is there some suggestion that you be removed????? No way. 

If you are under attack then it may be self defence from the attacker. Can we define this?