My first negative experience - Communication

[Michelle140]

This is my 9th guest coming tonight (it's 9:40pm), and it's the first time I've felt some dread. She's booked my room (not the whole house) for a lengthy 33 days, which is a long time to be stuck with a housemate you don't get along with. I don't think she knows what airbnb is supposed to be.

Her first message indicated that she preferred to be left alone unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire (literally said that). I tried to ask her this afternoon around when she expected to check-in and all she said was it could be anywhere from 6pm to 6am. I responded to keep me updated, as communication is a part of airbnb. I have not heard anything, and like I said, it's now almost 10pm, and I have ZERO clue what time she will be arriving.

I just don't feel right about the whole thing. Part of me just wants to get things started and if she wants zero interaction with me, then all the easier that money is to make, but at the same time, this is not why I started on airbnb.

I don't mind some (short term) guests being zero interaction, but I enjoy sharing stories and meeting people from all over, and over a month sharing my home with an enigma of a person doesn't sound like fun. Sigh. At this point, if nothing else, I think I'm going to write my first negative review =(

Is there any advice? I'm afraid to confront her, in fear of retaliation while I'm not at the house, but I'm not happy...

[Michelle140]

If she doesn't come back again tonight and only comes again tomorrow (Friday), then the pattern says she only comes on evenings I am not home, lol. That will make the month easy as I am more than often home =P But yes, very strange. And to further explain, she lives on the other end of the state, so she lives within driving distance. The rental is to have a bed closer to her temporary work location (she works something in the government). So when she doesn't come here, she is just going home instead.

Her profile says "the most extroverted introvert you will ever meet," but I would say she's the most introverted introvert I have ever met. She seems to have a ton of social anxiety. I had another guest and my niece over the night she came for the "check-in" and when one of them opened the deck door to come in with some dirty dishes, she went down the hallway seemingly to look in the room or something. Social anxiety and introvertedness to this level would be strange, but understandable to deal with. But that paired with her rude way of communicating is just too much for me. She texted yesterday about the wifi password and I reminded her that I don't have wifi listed as an amenity on my listing because I don't have unlimited internet. She was confused and seemingly angry, I answered again further, and she says "Ok. So what are you sharing is you can't share the internet. That is all I needed to know."

Further, her seeming incapability of dealing with things and her not seeming to be an animal person, I'm not sure what she will do if one of the cats goes into her room when the door is open and I am not there (or would it even matter if I were there?). We'll see how things develop, but after this morning, I wonder if I'll start developing sound-associated anxiety with my security door chime or my driveway bell 😉 lol.

Hopefully guests and my enjoyment go back to normal after this stay is over =(

[Alice-and-Jeff0]

@Michelle140 - I'm quite interested in what Airbnb had to say about her not checking in on the first day of her anticipated stay.  Is this allowed?  Can someone pay to "stay" in my house and just show up on any day during the paid-for time?  Having car-trouble, planes cancelled, being stranded by a bus, I might understand that the person is "delayed" but she didn't indicate that.

It would seem to me if the person didn't arrive on day one, as scheduled, it would be a de-facto cancellation and you would be entitled to your entire amount since she didn't cancel before the "flexible" period.  You shouldn't also then be forced to host them if they showed up at some time later (when they found it convenient to arrive).  If you booked a hotel from Mon - Fri and never showed up on Mon, they consider that a "no show" and do not need to accommodate the reservation any further.  

I'm very interested in how Airbnb said they were going to support you when you spoke to them.  

[Michelle140]

Support is very slow through Airbnb. I did an online message in the resolution center just so it would be on record, the morning after. Then I also called late that evening (her second night not staying at the house) telling them I was very uncomfortable with the situation. I haven't really gotten much support. This is one reason some people leave Airbnb. It should be easier for me to say "here's your money back, this isn't working out" without me having to pay a fee and wreck my record on the site. I'm not trying to cancel because of a change in schedule or something else, but because the person is making me uncomfortable.

In answer to your question, the way it works, if the reservation got cancelled at some point (ie - shortened), I would be paid for all nights through the cancellation and forward for as long as the cancellation policy requires. I certainly don't think it's ok for them to just not show up and not tell you, but they could effectively do that and then cancel the rest of their stay and never show up at all.

But I do agree with you. That was one of the reasons I was uncomfortable Tuesday night. I did not want to have this random person have access to my house, not communicating to me when they were actually planning on showing up, so I am effectively constantly anxious that this person is going to show up at my house who knows when, whether I'm asleep, there, or out.

Maybe eventually I will become confident that she's not going to murder me or my animal children (ha), but I doubt I will ever relax in regards to this silent mystery woman who doesn't communicate her plans, doesn't answer my questions, and just shows up or doesn't show up, and (thus far) not even seeing her at all aside from our "check-in". I just hear her while I'm in bed as she gets up and creeps outside to leave at the crack of dawn, lol.

This is most certainly not why I do airbnb. I have no idea what review I'll get from her, but I know I'll be completely honest in mine and NOT recommend her at the bottom thumbs up or down question... (By the way, how come we can't see something in regards to this question, a percentage or something?).

[Alice-and-Jeff0]

@Michelle140 - Our very first guest - the very first! - didn't come home the second night of his stay.  We rationalized that since he was here for a Reunion weekend that he got loaded, got lucky,  or both and just stayed in some pal's apartment but man, it freaked us out.  Do we call the police and report him missing?  It was pretty creepy.  He sculked in around noon still dressed for the night before.  

The next time that happened, yup it's happened more than once, we weren't so worried.  However, not having a guest show up on the first night they are to check-in would still say to me that the reservation is cancelled and the guest is a no-show.  Hopefully, that never happens and I'm so sorry it happened to you.  It's definitely a grey area.  

We struggle with guests showing up when they say they will.  Right now, guest is over an hour past the agreed upon check in.  To me, this is 100% not cool and is even in our House Rules.  

[Michelle140]

I just don't know who in their right mind would think it's ok to just decide not to show up at all and not notify the person hosting you =P

If nothing else, she is making me reassess all my limits, rules, and listing details, lol. I just added a rule noting to turn off all lights, fan, etc in the room (and other areas of the house) when you are not using it. Right now I'm waiting to hear back from her if she's coming back tonight or not so as to decide whether I can/should go in the room to turn off the fan. I don't like leaving things running that aren't benefiting anyone. I do leave the living room fan running for the animals (since I don't use the AC real high) and the deck fan also if my dog is hanging out there and it's a hot day, but a room in which no living being is in doesn't need to keep anything running. Anyway... In addition to realizing what is out there and possibly be more picky in the future regarding who to accept bookings from =P

[Michelle140]

Well, it's 11pm and she's not here. How much does anyone want to bet she comes tomorrow after I told her I wasn't going to be home much of the day and evening? As of now, she's 1 for 4. I will miss having different people coming every weekend, but if she's only going to be here 25% of the nights, this could end up being a good deal for me I guess =P I still don't like that she doesn't really respond to any of my messages though and doesn't tell me anything, but this is the update 😉

[Sandra126]

@Michelle140, we are all following the events. In regards to the fan going without her being there, I once stayed in a place in Sydney which had as house rules ''if you decide to stay here you must agree to me coming in to check that appliances are off once you have left the house each day.'' Or something like that.

She will be there tomorrow, bet you a dollar.

[Andrea9]

@Sandra126

Thank you for sharing that! I've been trying out different ways to handle these electricity -wasting guest antics, yet still needed that last succinct message! A variation of it will go into my house rules and manual!

[Michelle140]

Well, I was wrong. Around 12:45 this morning she arrived for the night. She told me she wouldn't be coming after midnight when I asked so I didn't clarify that I do not want people coming that late unless discussed and agreed upon =P I had to be up at 7am, so was trying to get to sleep early.

But then was right, she came this evening, relatively early. Again setting off the security alarm because she didn't disarm it correctly.

She also never locks the house door back up when she leaves me asleep in the morning or when she comes in the house and sequesters herself in her room. How many house rules must one have? Doesn't common sense prevail? I feel like before she's gone, I'll have a novel length list of rules she made me realize I missed =(

I need to have a conversation with her (another morning, will send a message regarding the lock and arriving after midnight). Things are not working as is, and things need to improve. I cannot operate like this for another 28 nights.

What rights do we have on airbnb with a guest who is not following house rules?

[Sandra126]

@Michelle140, I think you can certainly ask her to leave now.

I just read the ''what are house rules'' section on Airbnb, it clearly states that you can ask a guest to leave for breaking your house rules without penalty.

[Andrea9]

@Michelle140

Hope you repeat things on the message thread to have back-up proof to Airbnb later on.

Dear guest, to reiterate our conversations then, then, and then about different things that are not working out and putting my home in danger (leaving a door unlocked) and causing other disruptions blablabla...

[Michelle140]

@Sandra126, the question was probably more hypothetical (I was tired), as most of the things she's doing wrong are either common sense (so I didn't add to the rules) or things I hadn't thought of for potentially being an issue. I have made my house rules longer since she has arrived, but I hate having it be so lengthy... Airbnb says you can't change the house rules on someone after they have booked, so I don't think I can say she's not following house rules unless the rule existed before she booked. If I were being a stickler and wanted to kick her out, I'd probably just have to wait till we have rain and watch her not remove her shoes at the door =P She has broken the quiet time rule only unintentionally because of my driveway bell, which she probably doesn't know about or understand. I have added that detail to my rules. Inside the house, she is pretty quiet (too quiet, ha). Actually, I was going to ask if there is a reference for what qualifies as breaking "quiet time"? What are the expectations within quiet hours for the guest to oblige by? I imagine it's all relative, but what would count as "breaking" a house rule for this one?

[Sandra126]

@Michelle140, That is a hard one as it is more of a polite thing. I think you can have lengthy house rules as long as they make for entertaining reading. If you go into my profile and see my wishlist for 'good examples of rules' (currently 5 listings) you will see some excellent examples. Some of those hosts have more rules under their profiles as well, with entertaining lines such as ''don't book here if you are an anxious person'' sort of thing. The rules will attract and weed out for you.

[Michelle140]

@Sandra126, I was going to check out your wishlist to see examples of rules, but the "see all" link under people's wish list section on their profile doesn't work =P It just goes to all popular wish lists on Airbnb... =(

[Sandra126]

@Michelle140, Went in to check, and you are right! They have changed the site (I have noticed a few other tweaks). Now when I went into your profile, it says Wishlists (1) but won't show the actual wishlist. Why change that? Was very interesting to see what people save. Maybe it is just a glitch and will be back to normal. Here's a few!

www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/4654594

www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/3209850

www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/5714427

www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/9029644

www.airbnb.com.au/rooms/1835186