My first negative experience - Communication

[Michelle140]

This is my 9th guest coming tonight (it's 9:40pm), and it's the first time I've felt some dread. She's booked my room (not the whole house) for a lengthy 33 days, which is a long time to be stuck with a housemate you don't get along with. I don't think she knows what airbnb is supposed to be.

Her first message indicated that she preferred to be left alone unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire (literally said that). I tried to ask her this afternoon around when she expected to check-in and all she said was it could be anywhere from 6pm to 6am. I responded to keep me updated, as communication is a part of airbnb. I have not heard anything, and like I said, it's now almost 10pm, and I have ZERO clue what time she will be arriving.

I just don't feel right about the whole thing. Part of me just wants to get things started and if she wants zero interaction with me, then all the easier that money is to make, but at the same time, this is not why I started on airbnb.

I don't mind some (short term) guests being zero interaction, but I enjoy sharing stories and meeting people from all over, and over a month sharing my home with an enigma of a person doesn't sound like fun. Sigh. At this point, if nothing else, I think I'm going to write my first negative review =(

Is there any advice? I'm afraid to confront her, in fear of retaliation while I'm not at the house, but I'm not happy...

[Lyndsey2]

Over the past few days I've been having major issues with Airbnb messages being lost for several days and then suddenly appearing as if they were brand new. I've seen many folks mentioning this on other forums as well. Did you send the message via Airbnb or text? Text may be a safer option at this point. Maybe she never even got your last message! 

That said, I would wait until you meet the guest face to face. It may sound worse than it is. If you really find that it seems like a bad match, then you may want to contact Airbnb or help find her another lodging option. 

[Jude7]

I, too @Lyndsey2, having been having an issue with messages being delayed for days, and have written about that issue on another thread.  I did send a message to support through Twitter, and the reply I got was that it was being looked into.

Not very reassuring, especially as there are hosts anxiously waiting for guests to arrive.

Jude

[Michelle140]

I sent another message on airbnb (last time it was texting through the airbnb number). If I don't hear from her soon, I'll text her directly, but I don't think that's the problem. I appreciate the notion of waiting till the person comes to pass judgment, but we also have to keep ourselves safe and trust our gut sometimes. The only thing keeping me just waiting is that she does have good reviews (the only negative was regarding her lack of communication, lol). Either way, telling the person who is sharing their home with you that all you can say about your arrival is it will be sometime between 6pm and 6am is rude. Maybe I need to make my listing more clear in regards to what I am offering, because that is not it.

[Clare0]

@Michelle140  I totally understand your dread, but who knows?  This guest might be great.

 One thing I would advise you to do is change your checkin times.  Do you really want to be available at 1am to check someone in? My listing says 12 to 5 pm.  That's the window I prefer, but of course I can make exceptions, but it's at my discretion, not the guest's.  If someone told me they might check in anywhere between 6pm and 6am, I would reply that they need to narrow it down and check in according to my check in times. 

I refuse to be a doormat...my house, my rules. Airbnb doesn't expect hosts to bend over backwards for guests...just to be fair. 

Another thing I would suggest is to limit the number of nights a guest can stay in order to not be stuck with a guest that you don't like for such a long time. Especially since you will be sharing the space.  I limit mine to 21 days, not only because I don't want guests developing tenancy rights, but because the short term stays are better if the guest is not so nice.  

While the long term stays are enticing because of the money involved, you need to consider your peace of mind. 

Let us know how it all turns out!  Clare

[Michelle140]

Thanks Clare for your feedback. I am relatively new to this and try to be as flexible as I can on my listing. I had the check in time as flexible before, but then changed to the absolute latest I would be willing to accommodate. You may be right and it might be better to put it as what I prefer, but then be willing to be flexible through communication of a need.

I have a key code into the house, so I guess since that's the case she thinks she can come whenever she wants, but I do prefer to meet my guest the day of arrival, even if they arrive before I come home. I don't want a mystery guest staying in my house who I don't meet. I also told her that I needed to set her up upon arrival with her own key code and a code for the security system since it is a long term stay.

The max stay I am considering now. It's a good point for keeping it at short term and not creeping into a tenant. Is 21 days the law in all states? Or how would I find that? My 19 day reservation coming next month sounds a lot more promising. He appears a lot more understanding of the situation, that he's a guest in my home, but a guest that I want to make feel like it's his home. A good stay requires respect and understanding from both parties.

[Michelle140]

I just don't feel comfortable right now. I live alone and do not want to go to sleep until she's here (don't want to go to sleep knowing a stranger will be arriving at my home during the night), but without her communicating I have no idea what is going on or where she is. The whole rest of the stay could go fine and she'd still get a thumbs down in my review for her. This is a historical problem of hers (she has a review complaining about her lack of communication already), so I don't think I can take the excuse of posting a positive review and providing her private feedback, feeling confident she will learn from the experience. I will try to explain further how her lack of communication is bad in my review than the last person (who implied her lack of communication during her stay, which I figured I could tolerate ok). I would have thought harder on denying her request if I knew she was going to arrive in the middle of the night without communicating her whereabouts, lol.

Got a response from her. I might be calling the airbnb number to see if this can get cancelled. She is somewhere else getting ready for bed. I guess not even coming tonight?

[Dawn33]

Do not cancel!!!

Let her do it.

If you cancel, you will remain booked for 33 days with penalty.

She just used up a night at her expense. Get a good night's sleep.

[Heather32]

It does sound like you need to be a little more forthcoming with this guest. Instead of asking about her arrival time. Tell her you need to meet face to face with guests when they initially arrive, and that the latest you will be available is XXpm.

You can be understanding of her hermit like demeanor and still ask for a minimal amount of communication. It is your home, and even though she is a paying guest, she is a guest.

[Clare0]

@Michelle140 You're right. A good stay requires respect and understanding from both sides, but you set the rules.  Here's Airbnb's info on Long Term Stays:

www.airbnb.com/help/article/805/what-are-some-things-i-should-consider-before-hosting-long-term-gues...

You should contact a professional rental manager in your area to see what tenancy laws there are in your area.  The law varies from state to state.  California is biased towards renters so we have to be very careful.

[Michelle140]

Dawn, you're still penalized even if it's to cancel a situation that the host is not comfortable with? That stinks =P I guess this is the type of situation that messes with your star rating 😉 I don't see how I can get through this and maintain a good review from her, as (like everyone is saying), I will need to insist on some basic things instead of just tolerating whatever she wants. I don't think she will cancel since she would lose all airbnb fees (and her unused nights at my house, which I could refund).

Thanks Heather. Now that it seems she is not coming tonight, I'll send her a message with requirements. I did delete the temporary pass code into my house as a guest is not allowed to arrive while I'm sleeping unless I have already met them =P Does she revert to tomorrow's check-in time frame now? I'll be working tomorrow and have the check-in time when I do for a reason (I don't want people arriving at my house without me meeting them and spending a very long period of time at the house before I get home to meet them).

Thanks Clare. I definitely have imposed a maximum now (and I think I'll reduce it even further). I didn't think there would a huge demand for month+ long stays in the middle of Virginia, lol, so just didn't figure I needed to put in a maximum. Airbnb definitely should better educate new hosts on things like this... =(

[Dawn33]

Her stay started tonight. She booked it and she paid for it.

Does she live in your city?

If she cancels, let her. Just don't cancel yourself. A guest can formally request you to cancel through Airbnb. It arrives and since Airbnb is asking to either cancel or leave reservation as is, it makes it seem like you have their blessing to cancel. Don't do that either.

Get a good night's sleep after you change that code.

[Michelle140]

She lives on the other side of the state. Supposedly working temporarily in a city near me so wanted to shorten her commute. Her positive reviews gave me some piece of mind (they were all in this state around Richmond), but I never fully understood what was going on. I like to give people the benefit of the doubt =P I guess all guests can't be awesome =P

[Jude7]

That's why I like a bit of an exchange with guests before they book, @Michelle140.  I learned very quickly that creepy guests have creepy styles of communicating, and awesome guests are just awesome and friendly all around!  Less than perfect experiences I've had with guests began with less than perfect communication right from the start.  Now I know better...........

Jude

[Michelle140]

Jude, I agree! Unfortunately, I have instant book and no ability to turn if off (yay for airbnb and their strange testing tactics, lol). Though overall, I would still keep it on as it helps with some people (I wouldn't have gotten my first international guests, which was a lot of fun!). Limiting my max stay will at least reduce how long I have to tolerate strange guests =P Lol. This girl actually didn't use the instant book, but I don't have enough experience to know how annoying poor communication could be, ha. I thought my other poor communication guest was what poor communication meant, but he was nothing compared to this 😉