Please take a look at our listing and try and explain this guest

[Kevin1322]

Guests arrive.

Have you got dogs, I have asthma, I am allergic to dogs?

Yes we have three, as in the listing and as in the reply you get when you book that we have dogs and saying if you don't like dogs then this is not the place for you.

I think we say several times that we have dogs, and there are pictures of them in the listing.  Pictures and writing. Writing saying dogs, and pictures of actual dogs. these ones.

But just in case you missed any of that, yes we have dogs and we told you this in the massage.

Did you read the message.... oh never mind ...

Can we use your kitchen?

No. read the listing.

Where can we eat?

Read the listing.

This year they walk among us.....

[Kevin1322]

I like that. It was an  interesting stay ✔

[Laura2592]

Okay @Kevin1322 challenge accepted for most clueless guests.  

I'm in New Orleans cleaning up after the hurricane so I have not been paying attention to reviews or guests. My long suffering husband texted me and asked me to respond to guests who couldn't find the butter knives. He had responded but they still couldn't locate them.  All of our utensils are in little metal bins with drawers. Spoons and forks on the top shelf, butter knives and cooking supplies (measuring cups and spoons etc) on the bottom. 

I type up my message and say if there's further difficulty locating the butter knives, call me.  

Midnight last night (1am cottage time) I get a call from a very disoriented guest who still can't find the butter knives. I ask the guest to open the cabinet and look on the bottom shelf for the bin. She does. She's obviously very drunk or high. She locates the knives (12 at last count.) She says "oh but I need butter knives." I say "I'm confused. Those are butter knives. " the guest replies that they aren't.  I don't want to argue with her.  I say "can you describe the kind of knife you are looking for ?" She describes a steak knife. I explain those are in the knife block. I tell her where the knife block is (plain sight on the counter like most of the population who owns one.) She says thanks and I hang up. 

Lovely review and they were overall great guests.  But private feedback was that they thought we should invest in some butter knives. I still don't understand what they actually think a butter knife is.  

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Laura2592 

You totally take the cake with this one! Keep the stories coming, please!

[Anonymous]

@Laura2592   I don't think they know what butter is, if it's 1 AM and they urgently need to cut it, and nothing in sight seems up to the task.

Sweet jesus I hope they don't have a pet named Butter.

[Helen3]

Not as good as the recent guest who marked me down for accuracy . When I ask why they said it was 'because my listing looked better than it did in the photos'  - honestly - you couldn't make it up 🙂

[Sarah977]

@Helen3  I've heard of hosts getting that before. It truly defies logic. 

How about the bizarre question on the guest review form "Did you get one towel?" instead of "Were towels provided?"

If guests got three towels, they'll mark it no and Airbnb then assumes the host doesn't provide towels.

[Sarah977]

@Laura2592  Maybe they were looking for "better" not butter knives?