The nice but totally clueless guest

[Laura2592]

And I mean TOTALLY clueless. Vent....

So I have a guest who has confessed that they have not been out of town in 30 years. Not only that, this guest has never traveled out of their state since young adulthood (the state is a neighboring one.) Its an older man who is very nice but my goodness! This is more than I signed up for. 

His son created his profile and showed him how to book a space-- no reviews, new user. He sent a lot of messages prior to check in-- how to work the lock? What is close by? Does he need to download other apps like Lyft or Uber? What is the layout of the space? I somewhat knew that this would be a high touch hosting situation.  He is very polite and pleasant but clearly has not been out of his comfort zone in a significant amount of time. At booking he said he is a caretaker for his wife and this is the first time away in decades.

This morning at 6am I got a message about how to work the remote. He can't find a way to mute the tv. He doesn't have a remote at home-- he still has a TV with knobs. I had to actually send him a picture of a Roku remote with an arrow to the volume control. There is extensive info in the house guide about the remotes and TV operation but nowhere do we do a diagram of the volume button. No other guest has ever asked this. He is totally unfamiliar with Netflix or any streaming services/smart TVs. He is confused by the record player because it has the ability to play things on a bluetooth speaker. I explained the operation in full and that he can just play records without any other function. He finally got that and at least is enjoying some music.

He's not used to the noises. The noises at his house are different-- he can hear cows and the neighbor's rooster at our cottage. Its pleasant but he thinks he needs to buy earplugs. Where should he go for those? How can he open Chrome in his phone to get to Google? This is his first phone that isn't a flip phone. Where is my landline?

I am trying to be patient as I sympathize with this gentleman living in a bubble of caretaking for many years. But its just way too much. I finally said "Oh I am sorry! I don't know what kind of phone you have. Can you perhaps ask a family member to help with navigating to Google?" Its the opposite of some tech challenged guests who get huffy that they don't understand things. He just seems very lonely and needy. I am not sure what I will say in the review. 

[Linda108]

Awwww, @Laura2592 you are a sweetheart!  You are hosting Rip van Winkle.  Given his track record, I doubt he will travel a great deal, but other hosting situations may not be compatible either, even a hotel nowadays.  I am sure your review will be kind,  and presuming he is respectful of your listing,  perhaps a comment such as, "Mr. X appears to be best suited with a hands on host."  Some hosts love the challenge and others would see his neediness as a red flag.

[Laura2592]

@Linda108 I think that is a great way to approach-- "best suited for a home share or on site host situation." I think he would love the company. He is a very kind guest but this is obviously a whole new world for him. And its a lot for me. 

[Huma0]

@Laura2592 

These situations can also be trying for a home host. We do expect a certain degree of self sufficiency from our guests too, although I can see it is more annoying for a host who is not on site. 

[Laura2592]

@Huma0 travel does in fact require some kind of self-sufficiency. There is a minimum expectation that any guest be able to successfully navigate their own trip to at least a basic degree, just like there is an expectation that a host offer the things they say in their listing. Though we can't rate guests on that, its very important and makes for a different hosting experience.

[Huma0]

@Laura2592 

I'm sorry to say it, but the similar experiences I have had have been mostly (although certainly not exclusively) with older guests. Some older guests are incredibly self-sufficient because they have decades of travelling experience under their belts. Others, not so much...

[Huma0]

@Laura2592 

Also, wouldn't it be great if we could rate guests on 'expectations'? I have had some very nice, but rather demanding guests in the sense that they expected so much more than was advertised in terms of amenities and/or a concierge service. However, it's a bit of a struggle to rate them down on this if they were fine with communication/cleanliness/following house rules...

[Laura2592]

@Huma0 Oh I so agree. Just as hosts are rated on accuracy, a guest should be rated on reasonable expectations. It could be a sliding scale instead of a score. When I used to work for a luxury retailer we had such a measure for some of our personal shopping clients. We had some who were very easy to deal with and others who would throw a fit if an item they demanded didn't look good on them because they had gained weight, or someone else wore a similar outfit to a party. 

My current guest is a dear to chat with but I really don't have the bandwidth. He seems to expect help every step of the way. I think we can always mention these things politely in a review even if we don't have a real category to use. 

[Huma0]

@Laura2592 

Yes, I guess the review is the only place to mention it as we don't have a category to cover it, but that's just a bit awkward when the guest is otherwise nice...

[Anonymous]

I'd say something like "It was an honor for our listing to be chosen by this polite and communicative guest for his first trip in decades. He is especially recommended for hands-on and sociable hosts."

I can't help but think he'd actually be an ideal guest for a more traditional B&B setup with old-school electronics. It sounds like he was experiencing a type of culture shock - he wasn't quite fluent in the technology, which is like a language, and the environment was as foreign to him as you'd expect it to be for a visitor who's just arrived from another country. I'm used to guests who don't understand a word of German and need extra help figuring out basic stuff to get around, but all the questions are far less annoying in the hallway than they would be over the phone or messenger.

Also: travel is alienating, and it doesn't go unnoticed that people subconsciously make up inane questions when maybe they're just lonely and need to talk to someone. 

[Laura2592]

@Anonymous what a very gracious way to word that. I will be stealing it in part or whole. 

[Dave52]

@Laura2592  the high maintenance guest can be frustrating, but try to take a deep breath, reply as calmly as possible, sometimes it requires a call to help resolve it.  All the while keeping in mind this high maintenance guest is balanced out by the many guests that need no help.  Tough to do though when they message late at night.  It's the hospitality business.

Hopefully this guest came to appreciate the small joy in operating modern equipment for the first time in their lives.  Or not. 

Helping them operate their own cellphone goes above and beyond for sure.......I'd probably draw the line at that one and tell them sorry I don't know.

[Kitty-and-Creek0]

@Laura2592 

Some day that might be one of us, struggling with unfamiliar tech. Breathe, my friend!

[Laura2592]

@Kitty-and-Creek0 true enough. I am trying to be kind and patient. There is a lot on my plate right now and this guest requires more emotional labor than I was ready for. 

Turns out his son is a former guest of ours and wanted to give his dad some time off from caretaking. This gentleman doesn't really know what to do with it, and its very clear he's very much used to a routine that doesn't include a lot of what we offer. Its only 2 nights thankfully. I have had more communication in this short time period than with the last 4 guests combined. 

[Mark116]

@Laura2592  I would lean toward letting most of this one go.  It sounds like a sad story, and someone who is legitimately somewhat helpless and 'out of time' vs. a person who is more generally high maintenance, though I grant that is probably not that much if a distinction in terms of wasting your time.  You probably don't want to leave someone who hasn't a vacation in decades a negative review that will ensure he never tries it again.