What constitutes a firm bed?

[Inna22]

Just got this from a guest ...I have one person that has special needs. She needs to have a “good” bed. Just a bed that is on the firm side and supportive for her achy joints and back...

I am really uncomfortable making subjective promises. If someone asks "how far" I reply in blocks or miles, never close or far. Should I tell them the brand of what I have? Also, this is for November. What if I need to replace the mattress? I will be stuck making sure I am buying the same thing? I won't even remember to do that

[Colleen253]

@Inna22 Queen.

[Laura2592]

@Inna22 

"Dear guest:

So glad you asked about the bed as we pride ourselves on being able to cater to very esoteric sleep tastes! You will have a choice of our patented bed of nails, used by yogis and Uncle Fester from the Addams family, and our solid wood board mattress which I hand hewed from a fallen walnut tree. Both beds are certified organic and use no questionable labor practices to create. No animals were harmed in the making of either bed, and both a guaranteed to be firm! Guests who have stayed in our nail bed suite (which has a fun bondage/goth theme for the curious Chicago visitor) have reported an increase in blood flow to the spine, and we all know how helpful that can be to opening the chakras! Guests from the solid wood room (everything is solid wood-- even the toilet!) really enjoy the pine sap that occasionally lends natural fragrance to the space. The choice is yours which decor most suits your aesthetic! But rest assured (pun intended) our beds are quite hard!

Your loving host, Inna"

[Inna22]

@Laura2592 this is the funnies read of the eeek (which is not hard to be with what is going on in the world).  It would have taken first place any week though