Guest staying in home all day

[Jane89]

I have a couple who arrived on Sunday.  They had asked if I have Wifi for work and I assumed that they would be working in the morning and evening - turns out they are using the bedroom as an office and never leave the house.  Take out is arriving at least twice a day and they are eating in their room.  This is a bed and breakfast not an office. They are staying 10 days and Im not sure I can stand having them in the house all the time!  What can I do?

[Jessie47]

Seriously!  

    I have two college aged boys visiting from China, ostensably, here to study computer science at the University of California at Berkeley.  They share a very small room and one of the two is  almost*always* here.  He cooks full, grease splattering meals,takes over the fridge and has no idea how to clean up after himself.  He does not know basic things like how to pee in the toilet and not on the floor. They did not know to keep the shower curtain on the inside of the tub when showering.  Their room is truly filthy. 

    I would love to leave and stay at my boyfriend's house but apparently when I am not here, they take over the whole house, leaving food out and uncovered and garbage is lettered everywhere.  I know this because my grown son came by once to check on the cat when I had been away for a few days and was shocked by what he saw. 

    I have them for five months! I have repeatedly told them what I expect of them to do in terms of keeping common areas clean but, while they are making some progress, I am very rapidly losing patience.  I have three more months until they leave.  My son thinks it is cultural, that in China, there is a different level of filth acceptable.  My boyfriend thinks it is because their mother's have always cooked and cleaned for them.  My home is walking distance to so many wonderful places and activities. The weather is wonderful! It is a vibrant college town!  Yet the one boy continues to skulk around the house all day, every day.  I am so miserable!  

  I don't feel I have the right to ask him to not be here in the day.  I don't feel I have a right to ask them to keep their room clean  and have no idea what to say beyond what I already have. In short, I suppose the one lesson I can impart is to be leary of long term rentals.

   Sorry, I am just venting I guess - comisserating.  I think it would be nice if airbnb put some guidelines/suggestions about this on their website.  There has to be differences between staying in a hotel and renting a room in someone's home.

   Very best wishes to you, Isabella!

Jess

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Jessie47 Your son and boyfriend are both right. It's a mix of both reasons. If you get a lot of international students in Berkeley for school, you may want to tweek your house rules a bit and also state the obvious.

I actually host a lot of exchange students and have house rules which are more appropriate for "young"  long-term guests - so for an older short-term guest a lot of the rules wouldn't even apply. Chinese cooking uses a lot of oil to 'stir-fry' using a wok or pan so it is prone to lots of splatters all over the kitchen, and I've seen lots of posts from other hosts about *smelly* foods, making the entire home reek. Also, Asian bathrooms are *wet* bathrooms with no separate shower area so many do not understand why they need to keep the shower curtain on the inside of the tub. They are used to water being sprayed all over the bathroom when taking a shower.

If you understand cultural differences and things to be aware of when you have international guests, it may help you to communicate with guests in advance and set expectations. Especially for long-term guests, I think it's important to communicate what your expectations are as a host. Good luck~!

[Marit-Anne0]

@Jessie47

I think your boyfriend it correct - it is about mothering and being a spoilt (male) only child.  They are totally clueless when it comes to keeping house.

From that area, females could be a better bet.

[Jessie47]

Thanks Marit-Anne for the good suggestion! 

   I have had better experiences with female guests from China but did come across a different kind of cross-cultural difficulty recently. 

   I think there might be a bit of an alarmist fear of American crime and violence in China because the last female Chinese guests who stayed here  were terrified of it.  They locked me out of my house when I left, one evening, to go to the hospital! I had been out for an evening stroll and had somehow managed to badly twist and pull ligaments in my foot. 

   I happen to live in perhaps the safest neighborhood in North Berkeley, mostly U.C. profs and young families but when an older man collapsed on the sidewalk in front of my neighbor's house, the women immediately called 911.  Well, of course the whole half a block was full of ambulences, police cars and firetrucks and my guests could not be reassured that he was just calling for medical help, that he had not been the victem of a violent attack and that it was still perfectly safe to be in this neighborhood.  To make matters worse, the women were here because their son had seen his dorm-mates playing with a squirt gun when he was first moving into his dorm.  He had mistaken it for a real gun and he called his mother back home in China, in an absolute fantod, to come rescue him from this wanton gun culture.  I am not proud of American gun-culture either, but I do think there were a series of mis-informed overreactions due to this cultural schism. 

   So I have since removed the slide bolt lock. I really didn't need it or use it anyway, lol 🙂

[Alys0]

 I have had this happen a couple of times. My city zoning only allows me to rent per month, with a 4 week minimum (annoying), so I have had a variety of people stay. Mostly they are working and have obligations during the day, but I have also had one person quit a temporary job while staying with me which led to him being around 24/7, and one young student who didn't have a car and was not confident with biking so she was around pretty much all the time. I find the biggest issue to be privacy in the case of these folks who want to stay around. I work from home so I am home most of the time. If my guest is too, there is no time to do spot cleaning of the common areas when they are home all the time, let alone use the bathroom in peace without someone listening (my house layout is not ideal for bathroom privacy).

I think I would approach the problem from two sides. First, I have built some options into my world, like a membership at a co-working space, etc, just in case I need to get away from someone. I have a wonderful home office but sometimes you just need to be out from under someone's gaze for a while. Secondly, and this is not something I have implemented myself but might do in the future, ask the potential guest what their schedule will be. If it involves sleeping all day and playing video games all night, bringing random guests over, etc, they may not be a good fit. Someone else mentioned developing a good set of house rules, and these can evolve with time. I have made a few changes to mine as I've had various guests.

You aren't alone in having this issue! I feel like because of the platform sometimes people don't realize or think about the fact that it is someone's home they are sharing rather than a hotel room. It depersonalizes it to some extent which can be good and bad.

[Donna255]

Hello!  I am just reading this, as I have some guy that has been locked in his room for 3 days and is staying with us for a week. He's making odd calls and running his business from the phone.  

I work from my home; I have the correct "business licenses" and this is really unexpected.  I thought he would be out and about like my other guests.  Is there any wording we can put in our listings so this doesn't happen in the future?

[Alys0]

Hey Donna, you can definitely specify that you can't host for work-live purposes. I have just run into this problem as well and I'm addressing it by directing people to some local co-working spaces.  At least it's only a week. I learn and make tweaks with every guest, so I think evolving your hosting criteria is pretty normal. I have added to my 'guest interaction' and 'additional notes' sections that I am unable to host guests who want to work in the space, because I work from home. I think it's a totally legitimate line, after all not only is it your home, it's your office too, and having someone there 24/7 can be invasive. 

[Mandi-S-Just-Business-Ro0]

I am sorry to hear that you are in this situation.

I've had a number of guests from all over the world who have used my rooms to find work or do online business, but their profiles and/or intro stated as much. If they didn't, there's clearly a gap.

My bigger concern is someone who has locked themselves in a room for 3 days. With respect, who the hell knows what's going on in there.

I would call Air and let them know. Then I would invite a large, burly friend over and politely knock on their door, asking if everything is okay. Then indicate that you would like a chat about the trip and your mutual expectations. Indicate to them that you are not comfortable, and offer to reimburse them for the remaining days if they leave now. If they co-operate, and leave the place tidy, indicate that you are prepared to leave a favorable (and honest) review. if they cooperate Works every time.

I would also look very carefully at my pricing with a view to taking it up. 

My thoughts are with you.

[Caroline-and-Martin0]

Recently discovered my latest tenant is leaving here 17 year old daughter in all day as she goes to work.My insurance does not cover unaccompanied minors at anytime.

How should I approach the guest to inform her that this is not what AirB&B is for?

[Jose722]

This same situation happen to me I had a couple book my unit for 3 days as they were coming to a spiritual retreat, I welcomed them as I figured it was a spiritual retreat in a convention center or something. I was wrong they spend all 3 days here in the house blasting the heat near the 100s in the morning and 40s at night. It bothered me because Im trying to run a business and it becomes more expensive when you have someone just there all day for 3 days blasting the heat , electric. 

I decided to turn off instant booking for a while and including more screening questions for example

(3) How do you plan to spend your time during your visit? (You may want a guest who isn't going to be at your house 24/7)
(4) What hours of the day do you plant to be at my house? 
(5) What are your waking hours? 
(6) Have you read my house rules and do you have any questions about them?
(7) Have you used Airbnb before? (If they say yes, you can ask them how that went)
(8) Have you stayed in someone else's home before? ( This helps make the point that they are in fact staying at someone's home,not at a hotel, a misunderstanding that some guests have). 
(9) WHere do you currently reside and what is your occupation?
(10) What are the full names and contact info for all those on the reservation?

[Maryann41]

I currently have someone staying - booked from Monday morning 27 May to Sunday morning 2 June.  He stays in the room all day.  Does not cook, does not have takeaway.  Very quiet person, for 3 nights went out at 7pm and came in at 2am.  But I am not keen on someone being in my home all day.  It does not feel right.  

Fair enough he is not invading my space but just knowing that he he there and not a sound coming from the room is a bit disconcerting.

Will definitely change my listing!

[Helen3]

Hi @Maryann41 

When he booked what did he say about this plans for his stay @Maryann41 

To be honest there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with the guests behaviour and most hosts would love to have a quiet guest who doesn't cook and keeps to his room.

What did he say when you spoke to him about him being at home all day?

[Maryann41]

He said he was coming to Croydon on holiday so I made the assumption he would be out.

You're right of course, there is nothing wrong with his behaviour, I just feel uncomfortable with a stranger staying in my spare room all day!

[June151]

We have a student who is in between apartments and she has not left the house in 9days.

1st day went shopping and immediately put it all in the fridge and freezer even though they were very full she moved everything around of ours to squeeze it in, all this without asking.

she comes in the kitchen and uses the microwave and makes cups of tea (using our tea and milk)

and doesn’t even acknowledge us. 

Takes all the food into the bedroom which I don’t like. She has full use of a beautiful living room which she doesn’t use and I find myself for the fist time counting the days to her departure.

[Yadira22]

@June151 

I am so sorry about this. Maybe try speaking with her and explain that your groceries are out of bounds and if you share a fridge then make a section specifically for her as draw a physical boundary. Otherwise, you can also look into getting a mini fridge to be placed in her room if there is space. 

Hope her stay goes quickly and update your rules as to include preventative measures for these. Good luck to you 🙂