Host and Racial Profiling

[Rahadian0]

Hi, 

I am currently staying at Airbnb in Bergen. My host asked me about my toilet habit eg whether I stand or sit on the toilet. She knows from my profile and I come from Australia although my cultural background is Asian. At first I was a bit confused with her question and she awkwardly said that some of her guests with different cultural background (I guess what she meant was non-white) have a different toilet habit (standing on the toilet seat). She had some issues in the past of cleaning the toilet seat because her guests have stood on it. I politely said 'No' to her question and explained that in Australia people sit on the toilet. I wonder if she asked me that question because of my cultural background. If so, then I feel a bit racially profiled in this instance. Surely, a similar question wouldn't be raised if I am white - even if I stand on the toilet. I am not yet decisive about reporting this to Airbnb but I'd like to know some people view on this matter. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0 The host told you she was asking as she's had issues with this in the past. It's not racial profiling, it's just her knowledge about different cultural customs that led her to mention it. There are many places in the world where people naturally do things differently and hosts try to be aware of that so they can ensure that the guest/host relationship goes smoothly. 

Lots of Asian countries, for instance, have bathrooms that are "wet rooms." It doesn't matter at all if you flood the floor or splash water all over the place, but many of those guests don't realize that doing so in a home with a wood subfloor can cause extensive and expensive damage. So hosts might mention that to guests from those cultures.

Many places in the world have different bedding styles- they don't use top sheets, just a duvet. Guests from those cultures are often confused as to what they are supposed to sleep under and on top of. Most guests from those countries are white- if a host explains to them that they are meant to sleep between the sheets, not on top of everything, that's not racial profiling, it's just being aware that not everyone has the same cultural habits, and educating the guests as to how things are done where the host lives.

I can see where you might have taken offense, but I seriously doubt the host intended it like that. She has no idea whether you just recently moved to Australia from a culture that squats on the seat. And if she had some predjudice against Asians, she wouldn't be accepting their bookings.

[Rahadian0]

Yes but the question was clearly targeted based on her limited knowledge of one particular culture. It might be a racial profiling but it definitely has some racial undertone in it. She could have put some sign in the bathroom asking guest not to stand on the toilet. If I were her, I would not ask that question but put the sign in the bathroom. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0 Then that would be a good thing for you to suggest to your host. (You could let her know nicely that telling you that, when in fact you live in a country that sits on the toilet made you feel like she was racially profiling Asians- she'll likely be horrified that you felt it like that) Most good hosts welcome constructive feedback from their guests so they can improve their communication and other things. Some people have cultural stereotypes that they're not even aware of- it's good for all humanity to be made aware of having said something others find insensitive or offensive. Hosts aren't perfect people any more than guests are. We all make gaffes from time to time. When people cut each other a bit of slack, things go smoother and explaining how something made you feel can lead to greater sensitivity in the future.

I had a guest who brought a man home at 3AM, being loud and drunk, they woke me up and kept me awake for an hour. I wasn't about to make a big scene in the middle of the night, but the next day I told her that wasn't allowed and she apologized and it didn't happen again and otherwise she was a good guest.  I could have kicked her out for that and given her a bad review, but I felt that it had been resolved amenably for both of us, so I didn't call her out publicly for it.

[Rahadian0]

I did suggest her that putting a sign will be a great idea. However she likes to think that people don't believe in sign. Travelling is no longer dominated by white community these days so it is fair to ask the host to be more culturally aware of their guests background and learn how to deal with these type problems without coming across as being culturally insensitive. Seriously if this happens in a different scenario like an office, it will be a different story. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  "Yes but the question was clearly targeted based on her limited knowledge of one particular culture.". 

Exactly. It's a matter of ignorance and insensitivity, not necessarily racist in its intent. I'm ignorant about a million things- if that ignorance leads to making someone else uncomfortable or offended, I'd like them to make that known to me, so I can learn from it and not repeat the same behavior and examine my attitudes. And I'd like to be afforded the opportunity to do that, rather than being accused of something I was unaware of.

[Rahadian0]

I did raise it with her and suggested that a sign might be a good idea as she won't be seen as targeting any particular race. I wasn't quiet sure if she was onboard with that since her response was people don't read sign and I'd rather talk to them directly. Imagine if all police officers have to tell all pedestrian and drivers about the signs. 

[Mark116]

@Rahadian0   You would really report someone for discrimination, ruin their business, probably get them delisted, all for asking you a question related to cultural issues and bathroom habits?  

[Rahadian0]

You clearly didn't read my initial post, did you? I am not yet planning to report this and asking fellow members here about the issue. Cultural issues might be trivial for you Mark as you rarely get people use your race or skin against you. The issue here is clearly that many hosts perhaps aren't well-equipped how to deal with sensitive issues such as this one. 

[Mark116]

@Rahadian0  I suspect there are many parts of the world where typical "American" expectations and norms would be considered problematic, and a host may even need to explain what they would consider the basics in terms of their culture and expectations, and I don't see anything wrong with that.  

[Helen3]

When was the last time you were asked such a question when you travelled to another country and had  a host contact you in advance to ask you about your toilet habits @Mark116 ???

It's absolutely inappropriate for a host to ask @Rahadian0 an Australian about his toilet habits. I bet she wouldn't have done this to what she perceived was a white Australian.

What hosts here seem to not have taken into account is that the guest in question is Australian. He doesn't live in a country that has different toilet habits than that of the host and therefore there was no reason for her to raise this as an issue.

If a host had made assumptions about my toilet habits because they could see I wasn't white, even though it was clear I was from a Western country and made assumptions  based on my skin colour, I would be furious.

[Sarah977]

@Helen3 I agree with you that it was a racial profiling attitude, I just feel that there is a difference between being a racist and harboring stereotypes that one may not even be aware of. It's a question of intent to me. Someone being blatantly and pointedly discriminatory should always be called out, whereas insensitivity and simple ignorance requires educating if we are to have a peaceful world free of this type of thing. Attacking and reporting someone who really had no intention to make what would be perceived as a racist comment puts them on the defensive, when what the planet needs is more understanding and educating and the best way to do that, IMO, is to simply make someone aware that what they said was culturally insensitive and comes across as racist. 

[Rahadian0]

All along you didn't think it was a racial profiling but now agreed with @Helen3 that it was a racial profiling. Presumably this question was raised before with another asian guests. Imagine a Thai girl residing in Germany for more than 10 years and goes to Bergen and is asked about her toilet habit because a few months ago some Asian guests stood on a toilet. That experience of having a guest standing on a toilet shaped the host of view on certain race. 

I think you come from the host' perspective and that's great to have a host like you. But as much as how important the host's intention is in this case, the other people's feeling should be considered similarly important to the host' intention. Imagine if I am the host and one African American guest staying at my place. During conversation, I mention that my guest should try fried chicken joint down the road. Here I made a stereotype of black people and fried chicken but I can easily say that I didn't mean to be a racist because it wasn't my intention. 

However I agree that both travellers and hosts should continually educate themselves about cultures and identities as understanding the relationship between these two will only help us to make the world a safe place to travel and explore. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  I wasn't saying it wasn't racial profiling- I was saying that it probably wasn't coming from a mindset of racism, just ignorance. Many people assume that just because they knew or hosted a few people from a certain culture or race who behaved a certain way, that all people from that culture or race are like that or behave like that. It's wrongful thinking, but it's not an indication of racism to me, just lack of understanding.

Here in Mexico, many tradespeople never show up when they say they will, never call to let you know they'll be late or can't make it. This drives foreigners who live here crazy- they consider it quite rude and will often make comments about how rude Mexicans are in this regard. They are basing their statements on their own personal experience and generalizing, which is ignorant, whereas I've had many people work for me here who are respectful about arriving on time or letting me know that they can't.

[Rahadian0]

"It's not racial profiling, it's just her knowledge about different cultural customs that led her to mention it"

https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Help/Host-and-Racial-Profiling/m-p/1111576/highlight/true#M23709...

Ah all good. Your initial response confused me.