Host and Racial Profiling

[Rahadian0]

Hi, 

I am currently staying at Airbnb in Bergen. My host asked me about my toilet habit eg whether I stand or sit on the toilet. She knows from my profile and I come from Australia although my cultural background is Asian. At first I was a bit confused with her question and she awkwardly said that some of her guests with different cultural background (I guess what she meant was non-white) have a different toilet habit (standing on the toilet seat). She had some issues in the past of cleaning the toilet seat because her guests have stood on it. I politely said 'No' to her question and explained that in Australia people sit on the toilet. I wonder if she asked me that question because of my cultural background. If so, then I feel a bit racially profiled in this instance. Surely, a similar question wouldn't be raised if I am white - even if I stand on the toilet. I am not yet decisive about reporting this to Airbnb but I'd like to know some people view on this matter. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0 I should have said it was her personal experience with some people of other cultures that led her to mention it, rather than her knowledge. Her "knowledge" is obviously flawed and she is generalizing from the few experiences she may have had, which could certainly be perceived as racial profiling by a person she is directing it to.

[Rahadian0]

What I would like to do next is to write her an email about putting a sign and tell her how I felt about her question. She might not like the sign but that will save her the argument of defending herself not be called a racist. She told me that I am her last guest for now and she will open her house for Airbnb again after they move into a new house. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  I agree you should definitely let her know about how what she said made you feel. Hopefully it will make her aware of how she shouldn't direct certain instructions about procedures in her home to guests based on what culture she thinks they come from or how she assumes they normally behave. Letting her know that you considered reporting her for racial profiling but would prefer to just educate her as to how her words and actions can be perceived may make an impression and stop her from ever doing this again.

As far as the signs, of course she may take or leave that advice. I hope she realizes it would be a better approach, but like I said, she may have had experience with guests ignoring signs, so has her mind set that they won't be helpful.

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Rahadian0 

I've never heard for black people - fried chicken stereotype and I don't know what are you talking about. So it is very likely I would recommend him the fried chicken joint down the road and would have no idea why should he feel ofended or discriminated.

But this is different than your story

[Rahadian0]

https://medium.com/@suzanejardim/reconhecendo-esteriótipos-racistas-internacionais-b00f80861fc9

@Bi0 

[Branka-and-Silvia0]

@Helen3 

believe me, with 2 units and turnovers every 2 days from both of them, we often forget what's the name of the guest we are expecting and which country he is coming from 🙂

@Rahadian0 

Different cultures do things differently. I agree it would be more appropriate to put a sign in the bathroom.

Here is an article from Dailymail so obviously this is a common problem:

Swiss railway posts signs explaining how to go to the toilet because 'Asian tourists don’t use them properly'

Diagrams apparently aimed at visitors from Southeast Asia and the Middle East
They explain how one should sit on a loo seat, rather than squat
Also, they should put toilet paper into the lavatory, rather than the bin
Signs are posted at Mount Rigi railway, Lake Lucerne

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3148808/How-use-toilet-signs-erected-Swiss-railway-Asian-to...

[Gordon0]

I can't imagine she'd have asked a white 'John Smith' the same. Very peculiar, and, well, just plain weird. 

[Rahadian0]

Exactly my point. If I am a white guy called Simon Brown and I stand on the toilet, a similar question would not be thrown at me, would it? 

[Ann489]

@Rahadian0  the question was odd, and yes, probably inappropriate.   I would politely point this out to the host and maybe suggest the signage you mentioned previously.  But beyond that, just let it go.  I honestly don't believe that there was any intent to "racially profile" you.   A lack of good judgment in asking you this awkward question, yes.  😉

[Mark116]

@Gordon0   There are a gazillion threads on here about how different cultures have different habits, including 'wet' bathrooms, sleeping without a top sheet, shoes/no shoes in the house, and so on.  But, apparently if a host tries to address something like this directly, it is perceived not just as indelicate, but as a reportable action.  

[Helen3]

You are sadly missing the point again @Mark116 .

@Rahadian0 is Australian - he just happens to come from an Asian heritage, such as some Americans come from an Asian heritage.

Do you contact all those who stay with you who have an Asian or Middle-Eastern heritage but are from the US, Canada, Australia etc in advance of their stay and ask them not to stand on your toilet?

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  While you might be someone who reads signs and follows them, many guests don't. Hosts will post the Wifi code prominently on the desk next to the modem, and guests will still call or text the host asking for the code. Same with other written instructions. Sometimes they are just ignored, or they are written in a language the guest has trouble reading.

[Ian-And-Anne-Marie0]

@Rahadian0 

Not being familiar with different cultures' bathroom requirements, standing on a toilet seat would be new to me, all I could judge on would be past experience. Often some cultures leave various pots or in some instances pans in our bathroom so I've been recently considering fitting a bidet if we have space and it might be of use. Maybe your host was just considering providing you a step or seat covers because she doesn't want any damage causing? 

Would there be any way to ask this sort of question without causing offence and if not is it fair that this host might have to endure some issues she's had in the past which could have been avoided by asking ?

[Rahadian0]

She clearly said that it caused her so much trouble from cleaning the toilet seat. Would there be any way to ask this sort of question? Perhaps putting a sign might be the best way. In some public toilets in Australia there are some signs asking people not to stand on toilet seat. 

[Kat84]

Hi and I am sorry you feel this way. You know, we are not asked to have 5 diplomas and in many cases hosts do not have possibility to travel, because they are stuck with cleaning that toilet seat.

What does your intuition tell you? Was she concerned about additional cleaning or really hit you hard?

Did you record the conversation?