Host and Racial Profiling

[Rahadian0]

Hi, 

I am currently staying at Airbnb in Bergen. My host asked me about my toilet habit eg whether I stand or sit on the toilet. She knows from my profile and I come from Australia although my cultural background is Asian. At first I was a bit confused with her question and she awkwardly said that some of her guests with different cultural background (I guess what she meant was non-white) have a different toilet habit (standing on the toilet seat). She had some issues in the past of cleaning the toilet seat because her guests have stood on it. I politely said 'No' to her question and explained that in Australia people sit on the toilet. I wonder if she asked me that question because of my cultural background. If so, then I feel a bit racially profiled in this instance. Surely, a similar question wouldn't be raised if I am white - even if I stand on the toilet. I am not yet decisive about reporting this to Airbnb but I'd like to know some people view on this matter. 

[Rahadian0]

@Kat84 She was concerned with some Asian people standing on the toilet. No I didn't record the conversation. What hit me hard was that I felt singled out for being Asian despite living in Australia.

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  There's quite a difference, in my way of thinking, between racial profiling and discrimination, and simply being insensitive. The former is usually pretty blatant, as in someone making a rude comment about people of a certain race, sexual persuation, etc. or doing outrageous things like phoning the police because they don't think that someone of a certain skin color should be entering a building or something. The latter is usually born of ignorance or sterotyping beliefs that the person is not even aware of. The former should always be called out, the latter requires educating.

I had a white Canadian guest whose husband is Morrocan who told me they always end up paying more to fly to Morocco as they need to find a flight that doesn't go through the US. Her husband always gets pulled aside and questioned,even though he's a legal Canadian resident, an upstanding person with no criminal record. That's blatant racial profiling.

My daughter was sitting around with a few close friends, and she said something negative about the Chinese buying up all these big houses in Vancouver to Airbnb, making them unavailable for rental to local residents. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she was horrified, and apologized to her friend, who is first generation Chinese/Canadian. My daughter isn't racist- she and this woman have been close friends for years, staying at each other's homes, babysitting each other's children, attending many social functions together- she doesn't even think of this woman as Chinese, just as another person who is a close friend. But she said something insensitive and possibly hurtful and she then had to examine what ways of thinking she might have that would allow her to be so unaware as to say something about other people of a certain race, even though what she was talking about was a fact- there are many Chinese buying up houses there and taking them off the rental market. But there are also people of other races, including white, who are doing that also, just not in such great numbers.

[Kat84]

Educating people will take forever... From the moment they were born till they started hosting. Sarah and Gordon - 100% right, cheers to you!

How do you feel while staying in this place? If you feel the "presence" of the host, her beliefs, maybe a bad look at you and feel that someone is doing a "favor" to stay in their place, then you should look for a better host.

I have noticed that good hosts attract good guests! People will book and stay long if they feel safe. When no "cultural background", gender, sexual orientation is questioned.

I have been in such situations as a guest. It was my mistake that I thought that people will observe me and my habits, and the hosts expectations of me were just cruel. People do not change just in one click. You don't need to prove them that you are "not like that". Just change the host, place and have peace of mind... 

[Sarah977]

I remember a post here from a host who was shocked that his guests were throwing their used toilet in the bin beside the toilet, rather than flushing it. He couldn't believe anyone would have such "filthy habits". Then other hosts responded, explaining that there are many places in the world where the plumbing can't handle toilet paper, and people from those cultures are accustomed to using the bin, otherwise the toilets would get plugged up. The host was simply ignorant of this, thanked the responders for educating him and felt foolish for having thought his guests were filthy people.

[Anonymous]

@Rahadian0 I once encountered a white American woman and an older man from China over breakfast at a hostel. The hostel had a cute house cat, and the Chinese man was kneeling down to pet it, when out of nowhere the woman loudly and earnestly asked, "DO YOUR PEOPLE EAT CATS?"  I felt rather mortified to be an American at that moment, although it took all the restrain I could muster not to fall over laughing. 

Your host might be a similar kind of character. I wouldn't want to shame anyone for having gaps in their cultural awareness, but I personally find it inappropriate for a host to ask guests direct questions about what they do in the privacy of the bathroom or bedroom. Doubly so when it involves singling them out for such treatment because of their race, sexual orientation, etc.  It's hard to imagine this host feeling comfortable if you turned the question back on her and asked "so how about you ma'am, are you a sitter or a squatter?"

[Rahadian0]

Interestingly, Airbnb non discrimination policy states that "Airbnb hosts may not

• Impose any different terms or conditions based on race, color, ethnicity, national origin, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, or marital status.

I guess this case can fall into 'imposing any different terms and conditions based on race, colour and ethnicity". Am I wrong to read it this way? 

[Mark116]

I thought the host's purpose was to ensure that everyone use the bathroom in the same way? 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  She's not imposing different terms or conditions on various guests- she just wants them all  to sit, rather than squat, on the toilet. So that's not how I read it. Which doesn't mean she should have made assumptions that you needed to be told this.

[Rahadian0]

Never mind 

[Ann489]

@Rahadian0   Unless  you are actually urinating standing on the toilet seat and she was trying to tell you not to, she was not imposing anything on you.  As I understood you to say, she merely asked you a question that was awkward.

[Sarah977]

Here's an interesting one- a friend of mine holidayed in Thailand for a couple of months. Now everyone I know who's been to Thailand always remarks on how warm and sweet and welcoming the Thais are, including her. So she was rather shocked to see signs in many businesses saying "No Israelis". Are they anti-Semitic? Anti-Israel? She started asking about this, asking the Thais as well as a couple of middle-aged Israeli travelers she met. What she found out was that as all Israelis, both male and female, are required to do two years of military service starting at the age of 18, and as the political sitution there is highly charged and can be quite violent, many of these kids come out after 2 years being pretty messed up, aggressive, arrogant. So it's quite common for their parents to pay for them to go off travelling for awhile in the hopes that they'll calm down and work through their feelings, and Thailand is one of the places many tend to go. 

But until they hopefully do start behaving well, they are flopping out these attitudes and behaviors wherever they go and many Thais have had such bad experiences that they've simply had enough of it. My friend witnessed this first hand- she was sitting in a little family restaurant and the teenage son was waiting the tables. There was group of young Israelis at the next table and when the young man brought them their meals, one of the group looked at the food, said "What is this? This is s**t!" and pushed it onto the floor, then said to the young man "Now pick it up."

Do all Israelis behave like this? Of course not. Are those signs blatantly discriminatory? Of course they are.

But at what point do people simply have enough of being treated horribly by many people from a specific culture and decide to ban them, discrimination or no? I really don't know what to think about this.

[Kenneth12]

@Rahadian0 :   I'm more than sorry to hear about this,  as presented.

I'm afraid that there is ignorance,  and then there is ignorance.  Treating any group differently because of a negative cultural stereotype,   is discrimination and prejudicial.   And that appears to be what happened here.

I'm not sure those signs are a good idea as they make the Swiss look like they have some odd special need to point out a supposed problem with Asian guests (which must be in fact rare) and appear,  in fact,  to single out Asians for special negative and discriminatory treatment.

I have seen such signs in Western-style toliets in places such as Shanghai and Singapore,  and frankly,  am not sure they are necessary or appropriate there.    In the contest of Western cultures,   they are offensive,  make fun of Asians and their practices as backwards,   and are as inappropriate as a large pictures of Aunt Jemimah and other stereotypes-- they are a negative racial and stereotype that calls for unequal treatment and discrimination.

As you are from Australian,   there is indeed no reason for this to have been an issue,   especially in Bergen.   I would indeed take someone in Bergen,  in today's particular and deplorable political climate,  as making a particularly ignorant and racist comment.

If there is any issue here that the host needs to deal with,  surely,   it could be addressed in another way,   either by sensitively exploring your guests' history and/or by discretely mentioning it only if and when there may be a problem.   That does not seem to be your host's intent.

Airbnb is supposed to be an inclusive and welcoming community,  which sometimes involves being attentive to cultural and other differences and accomodating and welcoming towards them.  That is not what your host has done.  Instead,  she has singled you out for negative and discriminatory attention based on little more than the color of your skin.

I have not interacted personally with your host and therefore don't have the advantage of being able to judge them in person.   Depending on the content of interactions,  however,   unlike others here,   I might not be so forgiving.

[Rahadian0]

What seems to be the common response in this discussion is that people jump straight on to discussing the intention of the host. Only a few that actually asked about how I felt. I am not looking for a sympathy but in a different situation like public space, we tend to stay away from this situation. If someone asks an Asian guy who is patting the cat "do you eat cat", I will jump it and tell that it's inappropriate and apology should be in order. 

[Sarah977]

@Rahadian0  I'm sorry that you felt not enough people asked how it made you feel. And I'm sorry this happened to you. To me it was obvious how it made you feel and you should never had been made to feel like that. I guess a lot of us started talking about whether the host intended to offend you and was racist or just uninformed and insensitive because you said in your OP that you were weighing reporting the host for racial profiling. What this would result in for the host is probably being delisted, losing her business. If a host was truly a racist, which none of us here can say for sure because we don't know her and you didn't report that she made derogatory remarks about your race, just stupid and offensive assumptions, then delisting would indeed be appropriate- if she's just ignorant and insensitive, then having her delisted won't make her a more sensitive person, it could lead her to go the opposite direction. There's many people in this world who at one point held racist beliefs, often instilled by their upbringing, but through some life experience, whether it was a person in a demographic they were biased against having saved their life, or explaining to them how their behavior hurts others, or simply becoming more educated, they changed their thinking. While I don't believe there's any point in trying to change the mind or point out the error of their ways to die-hard racists or homophobes, they should just be publicly called out and shunned, I believe kindness and education can make many people see the illegitimacy of their attitudes.

[Rahadian0]

Thanks for your response. I wonder though in a platform like airbnb if training can't be offered to hosts on how to deal with travellers from different cultural backgrounds, then what are the alternatives?