Improving a review

[Kara-Black0]

Hello!
I left a mixed review for a guest because he and his mom seemed to be in quite bad moods from the get-go when they sayed, and try as I might to check in (in person, by text and by message) and ask how things were going/attempt to make their stay more comfortable, they sayed fairly surley and didn't provide any message of how their stay was going.

Though he never answered my quiries, he left a glowing review, so I clearly was misinterpreting that their mood was related to the place.  Now I feel badly that I left a negative sounding review for them, based on my own worry and misinterpretations. People communiate in a range of ways, and I don't want to rate them down because theirs didn't match mine.

Anyhow, I can understand that reviews can't be "down-graded" after the fact, but can they be upgraded?  I would love to leave them a more positive review if I can.

Thank you 

[Sarah977]

@Kara-Black0  You can't change a review once it's posted. I can understand why you'd feel bad about the review you left since they left a nice one. But really, you shouldn't feel bad about it- it was an honest reflection of how you felt about their stay. I read it and it's not a bad review, you did say that it may have nothing to do with you, but that it was hard to read where they were coming from. Just because their bad mood had nothing to do with your listing or you as a host, it's not okay for guests to be surly or not respond to host's messages. I don't think you did anything wrong, and their nice review reflects that. Maybe next time they book a place, they'll realize that flopping whatever bad mood is going on with them at the host is just poor manners and may be easily misconstrued.

It's funny, we usually read about the opposite problem here- hosts left a nice review for the guests, guests left a nasty review full of lies and the host wants to change their review.

I wouldn't have left a response to their review as you did. The only people who will read that response are future guests when reading the reviews of your place. What you wrote as a response should have been sent to the guest as private feedback. Responses should only be left to correct something false a guest said in a review, to say that you've attended to a legitimate issue the guest experienced during their stay and mentioned in their review (that way future guests see you're a concientious host who takes guest input well) or to just thank a nice guest for staying after they've left a great review. Best not to talk about anything in a response that isn't a direct response to the guest's review- not the review you left for them, the star ratings they gave, or any private feedback they sent you.

[Kara-Black0]

Thank you Sarah--I still do feel badly about it, but I understand what you are saying. Warm regards, Kara

[Sarah977]

@Kara-Black0  The thing is, I know first hand how people like this affect those around them- I have a grown daughter like this and I've had to deal with it for years. She's really moody and when she's in a bad mood, you could cut the air around with a knife. They cause those who have to be around them or deal with them to feel really uncomfortable and wonder what they've possibly done to offend them and feel like they have to walk on eggshells.

What people like this need to learn to do is to simply say to those around them " Look, I'm just in a really bad mood right now- it has nothing to do with you.  It would be best if you don't try to talk to me for awhile until I feel better. Please don't take it personally". My daughter is learning to do this, but I can see it's difficult for her to remember, she gets so wrapped up in her own funk.

[Kara-Black0]

Thank you Sarah.  I do know people like that too.

I just realize, I wrote what I thought was a private messge to that guest (essentially apologizing for my review) and just realized that my reply to him was made public--as if it was a reply to his review.  I did not mean for that to be public--just looked like I was writing a messge in our correspondence. How can i delete my reply from public consumption?  Thank you

[Kara-Black0]

Hi Sarah,

Are you able to see my messaging with guests? Despite your advice, i worked with airbnb to have my review of him taken down. I had told him initially before I wrote on this forum and you replied that I would try, and then I let him know this afternoon that I had succeeded and apologized again for misunderstanding his/his mom's messages.

Then he let me have it.  Name calling and all.  Are you able to see that?  Makes me nervous that he knows where we live.  Does airbnb ever flag or track that sort of behaviour?

There is likely nothing to be done, I don't plan to continue to respond to him.  But it does leave me with anxiety.  If airbnb does track this sort of thing, I would like to know, as I would feel a bit less anxious.

Thank you Kara

[Sarah977]

@Kara-Black0  No, no one can see your Airbnb messages with guests except you, the guest and Airbnb.

So your gut feeling was correct in the first place ( we should trust our intuition-it's usually correct) - he's not a nice person, it's not just that he was in a bad mood. You had already apologized, what does he have to name call about?. You should report his nasty messages to Airbnb and block him from contacting you. Airbnb isn't going to notice his messages to you unless you tell them to look at them. Then try to just forget about it and move on- some stranger's not worth getting all anxious over.

Too bad you asked them to remove the review- he obviously deserved it.

[Kara-Black0]

Thank you Sarah for taking the time to reply to me.  I guess I would have gotten his ire either way, but you are right, i should have trusted myself.  I did go ahead and submit a report to air b&b.  Thank you for being a listening ear.  Though we've been in hospitality a long time, airb&b is pretty new for me. 🙂

[Sarah977]

@Kara-Black0  You have wonderful reviews, guests obviously love your place. Sorry you got a bad egg.

In the future, if you want to say something privately to a guest, you can always go back to the message stream with them, the same message stream you used when they booked, and write them there. Then there's no confusion possible about whether something is going to be private or public.

[Helen427]

@Kara0@Sarah

Whilst one can't change the review if the other has been posted, one can reply publicly to a review by a Guest as a Host.

@Kara0 you may like to use that option as a peace means  to balance things out, it helps with future potential guests looking to stay at your home as well.

[Sarah977]

@Helen427  Did you read through my response to Kara's post? She did leave a review response and I feel it wasn't appropriate, as it doesn't address anything that future guests will read when reading her reviews. It will, in fact, be confusing to future guests, as they won't see the review she left for the guest to which the response refers .She would have better sent that response to the guest as private feedback or an Airbnb message.

[Helen427]

@Sarah327Yes i did read it and have subsequently looked at @Kara and her Guests profiles and see she has also already responded in reply to the Guests review, I had assumed @Kara may not be aware of this right of reply, as others have been in similar situations not realising this option is available!

A private msg to the Guest may go some way and @Kara has done the right thing replying to her Guests review so others can see she's tried to rectify the situation.

[Sarah977]

@Helen427  But Helen, the situation she's tried to rectify with her response is a mystery to anyone reading the guest's review of her listing and her response, as it refers to the review she left for the guest, which future guests will not see.

It's called a review response for a reason- it's meant to respond to what the guest wrote in their review.

[Kara-Black0]

Yes--that is what I thought i was doing.  I wasn't meaning to leave it as a public response. I am new at this and don't understand how it works very well yet.  How can I delete that response?