Need advice on deescalating situation with possible sociopath guest

[Lisa1680]

HELP!  would really appreciate fellow host advice (warning: disgusting content)

I've been host for 8 months (made super host few months ago) and an ABB guest myself for over 7 years. I'm currently experiencing a truly upsetting situation and hoping to resolve professionally and calmly with causing escalation but I'm concerned I'm dealing with a sociopath guest - appears to be devoid of remorse and fabricating lies about my space and their experience.

This guest just joined in January 2019 and clearly doesn't understand the home sharing community expectation of respect. I believe he will abuse other spaces so want to report him while also not starting a war and endangering my safety.

I was his first ever booking. He turned my beautiful space into a frat boy rec room drunken party with his friend by moving furniture and bringing in their own sound system blasting music at completely off the hook levels for 5 hours (I left the building cause I couldn't stand it). They went out to a rave 11pm - 5am.

They broke multiple house rules on parking, garbage and didn't put furniture back but I could have let all those go except for ....  the worst of it: they left a disgusting toilet absolutely full of feces (so sorry to put that in your mind's eye!). I cannot unsee this. It felt like total disrespect and was super upsetting. I have deduced it may have been on purpose because they slept in past check out and got pissed off when I knocked shortly after 11am to remind of 11am check out time.

I have photo and video proof of everything.

I'm not saying "socipath" lightly. When I wrote them later in the day about the toilet I said I'd wait to hear from them before reporting to ABB - you know, give him a chance to apologise and say they were hungover or whatever. But no, his response was to take zero responsibility for any infractions, have zero remorse and truly unbelievably blamed ME for the unflushed toilet because they were being "rushed out". wow. Who does that? The thing that makes me nervous is that he proceeded to also blame me for many fabricated issues that not one of my past 52 bookings have ever mentioned. I haven't answered his msg yet. Was too upset. Now editing a response to just the facts.

BUT in the meantime ....

I got a notice he has reviewed me! UG.  I've never been in a situation before where I don't want someone's review to get posted. I'm certain it will say mean, untrue things. But of course I can't read it without writing one of my own. I don't want my rating to go down.

QUESTIONS:

1. If I review him both reviews would become public so I intend not to, but is there a time limit beyond which his review will be automatically posted even if I don't review him back? In other words, can I ignore it so it will it never be seen ...

2. Beside his profile pic there is the option to report him for being "offensive". will he learn it was me or will they just ban him?

I honestly think he should be banned from the site. But since I am his one and only booking, any report of him being offensive he will know came from me. He only lives a few hours down the highway and he clearly has issues - I feel nervous he will retaliate. I'm a woman living alone. So do I leave it, keep my eye on end game and not report?

I want to protect my fellow hosts from EVER having him as a guest.

Any ideas greatly appreciated!

[Duane4]

Hi,

Been there and seen that.

His review will become public after about 14 days no matter what. But if it doesn't meet the rules for a rewview it can be removed.

In my case the guest didn't write a review, but I asked him to. How I handled it was my review was simple.

"You're not welcome back!" if i remeber correctly and that was it. I gave him 1 star on everything and indicted I would not recommend.

It seems AirBNB is reluctant to remove bad guests from the pool.

I don't allow anyone that doesn't have government ID to stay.

Duane

[Robert1448]

I've had two difficult experiences in the past few months and we survived them both.

One was just a very difficult visitor who invited additional guests (all very respectful) only to complain half way through the stay that there were problems related to check in and a broken toilet (which they only reported two days later). They felt they were entitled to a full refund after a week which we felt was pretty obnoxious.

It was a great way to learn how to handle a 'problem'. Namely, document all comunication through the app and website. With that in hand you can then contact AirBnB to resolve any issues in an amicable way and hopefully with some evidence in your favour. 

In the end they advised us to leave a review of the behaviour we experienced and the visitor ended up leaving nothing at all.

Now, our next one was something else.

Last minute Friday night weekend stay. Should have known better!

We had a bunch of hopped up meth heads (or crack heads - not even kidding) who left all kinds of surprises, including a rolled up $100 bill along with remnants of associated drugs, drug paraphenalia, loads of cigarette packets (in our smoke free home) and a babies shoe. That really got my wife wondering.

Anyway, apart from the smell and the mess we managed. I used an ozone machine to get rid of the smokey smell (highly recommended) and once again reported their actions to AirBnB. 

We were in touch with AirBnB all the way with the last one and they again walked us through the options. At all times our safety was paramount. With the evidence we gathered and forwarded they indicated they were taking further action regarding the guest. 

Bottom line: reach out to the guest to see if you can resolve the issue and involve AirBnB from the start if necessary. If you need to escalate you can do so with some guidance.

Most people have good intentions so start from that premise.