I had a guest instant book for a checkin today. We have a st...
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I had a guest instant book for a checkin today. We have a strict 4pm checkin time & they showed up at 2:15 saying they chose ...
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Day 22: Finding My Light
Here in the Northern latitudes, the sun sets earlier and earlier as the month of December wanes and winter sets in, sucking my happiness with it. And then on December 22nd, the light returns and the days get longer and I get happier.
My life was proceeding down a similar path as the winter sun in the year 2000. My life as a mechanical engineer was not bringing me the joy it once had and I yearned for a change. I dropped from full time to part time, while I took classes in fire fighting, with a goal at that time to combine my love for fire, safety and engineering into some grand new career path as a fire safety engineer. I had attained my license as an Emergency Medical Technician and Firefighter 1, when I was approached by a young woman and her long haired, hippy looking psychiatrist father to take on the responsibility of fire and safety for a music and arts festival in the desert at a place called 3 Sided Whole. There would be DJs, live bands, shamanic rituals, fire performers, burning effigies, art classes, peace, love and kumbayas. I would have a full MASH tent (Mobile Army Surgical Hospital), volunteers and full say on what could burn and when it could burn. I was very intrigued and said I would do it, even though I was not at all clear on exactly what the event was about. A few planning meetings later, I set out for the desert to help set up the MASH tent and figure out how I could make the event safe for an untold number of people.
Many miles outside of the city, in the deep desert was a wide open area of dirt, cacti, desert grasses, sagebrush and tumbleweeds running through arroyos and mesas. Pretty much a landscape of many shades of brown, red and greys, with punches of bright pinks, purples and yellows on the cacti and wildflowers. The small ranch where the event would be held had a partially excavated hill that formed 3 sides around an open hole. The event name 3 Sided Whole was adopted from this weird feature and the desire to make all of our lives Whole at this festival. I tramped around and located spaces for a helicopter landing (in case of an emergency evacuation), flat area for the MASH tent and locations for fire extinguishers. It was exciting to put all of my fire and safety experience in a real world situation. Well, I may have looked and sounded like I knew what I was doing, but that was just from confidence gained in the many years I worked in engineering project management. Truth was, I was in way over my head. 
The festival opened on a Thursday and would last through Sunday. Maybe thirty people showed up the first day. All very friendly, peaceful folks of all ages, colors and backgrounds. They set up camps all over the place and erected a large geodesic dome, while I set up the MASH tent. As dark fell everyone walked to the top of the nearest mesa and I followed. We watched the sun set in a wonderland of oranges, pinks and purples. As the last ray fell on us, we joined hands and sang a blessing. An incredible feeling of peace filled me at that moment and I got a bit teary eyed with unexplained emotions. I turned back to the main festival area to see many more people arriving. The noise level rose considerably. Stages and lights appeared like magic. Soon there were fire pits all over the place. I walked around just trying to get a feel for what was happening. I ran into magicians, chefs preparing outstanding meals, a guitarist singing love songs, groups singing or talking around campfires, DJs playing sets on several stages, and dancing all over the desert. I walked all over the festival with my body filled with peace, my ears ringing from the music, my heart was full of joy to see so many people helping one another to create safe spaces to express themselves and my brain on fire from worry about all of the accidents and injuries that could occur. Early the next morning I went to my little tent and was not able to sleep from the stimulation and worry.
The festival got more crowded throughout the day and well into the night. I had some more help by this time, so I was able to attend some seminars exploring life options and attend some creative art classes. I came to realize that there were many other paths I could take in life where I could use my engineering skills while expanding my artistic side.
Fire dancers came out in the evening dressed in Central American Indian regalia. Their dances celebrated the earth and life. I was entranced, while also being their safety. They culminated their dancing with the lighting of an effigy, a 3 meter tall man. At this time, most everyone was crowded around the effigy. As the flames roared, a cheer went up and a raw, visceral energy thrummed through the crowd and filled me with feelings of hope, excitement, love and wonder and I vowed to become a mistress of fire.
The spark was lit and I found my light. I became the Fire Mistress, learning more about fire as time went on, expanding into large open fire, propane flame effects, in the making of fireworks and light up (electronic) clothing. I discovered that as my proficiency increased in fire art creation, depression brought on by the dark decreased. Now, I love the dark, as I can make fire to keep it at bay. Yet, I still love the light of day, so I celebrate the return of longer days, on this day, as the sun returns to visit longer each day.
