Disrespectful guest

[Heather18]

I have a couple staying with me and they raded my kitchen last night. They polished off a pan of brownies and a huge thing of gummy worms and left everything sitting on my counter for me to find this morning. They are staying two more nights. Help!

[Momi0]

AMEN @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0

AMEN @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0

AMEN @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0

AMEN @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0

Just as my husband and I are raising OUR daughter......do not take what is not yours, do not touch if you haven't paid for it, do not eat what you have not bought, and for gods sake, bring a gift when you are coming to someone's home......and always always leave someone's home in better condition in which it was given by always leaving a thank you note and a gift as well as a CLEAN ROOM.

(yes my 12 year old daughter does spend the night in peoples home and always sends them a thank you note in the mail too)

Now i know why my friends say I should write a book.....think any parents would read it?  hahahah

End of Story.

[Maryam-Al-Fakheer0]

@Momi0 Hi Momi, a little clarification: @Clare0 was not reffering to all Americans, but to some previous incidents I had with American guests, this all comparing to my culture (bedouins in Middle Eastern Country).  To my personal experiences: in general American people speak friendly, act friendly, but often behave rude as if they own the World. In fact this is not just my personal experiences but also a general opinion about American people by Western Europe people and Middle Eastern people.  

[Momi0]

Interesting that you @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0 felt a need to "clarify " that for me when I am very capable of reading/comprehending what others wrote....but saddened that you didn't take the time to "thank me " for writing in my comments that I 100% agree with YOU.  But thank you for taking the time to write back and adding clarification.

Here's what I didn't mention that apparently needs it now.....the folks who SOILED my bed....and I mean SOILED.....were NOT Americans.

They were from Eastern Europe, China and Western Europe.  And NONE...and I mean NONE...paid for the severe damages to our bed.  Seems to me they thought they "owned" the world behaving like that.   

It was ONLY after I didn't receive any money from the previous guests, that I finally approached Airbnb to send in a resolution request for the damages that I was finally able to received money but only after the guests left without compensating us.  Neither of the previous guests paid for their damages...I guess they thought their apologies was enough.  It wasn't! 

One was DUTCH who promised to leave us money to replace our $600 mattress....but never did.  And by the time I called Airbnb, and sent in videos and photos of the "murder scene", it was a day too late.  A host only has 2-3 days to file a claim for damages to their home by a guests.  Lesson Learned for me.  (by the way, I have video taped the condition of OUR entire home, our entire Airbnb room AND BED by placing a newspaper in each room and bathroom to show the EXACT condition of our home so no one can dispute they received it in EXCELLENT condition.  I highly recommend all hosts do this.

@Jeet0 Thank you for taking the time to write back and letting me know that you appreciate what I said.  I hope you read it knowing I was smiling the whole time in my heart.  Your photo looks AMAZING.....and yes I want to eat it too.  And how did you know I had Mango tree in my back yard?  DId you read my profile and saw the photos?  Or did you see the photos of the many guests eating mangos or drinking Mango Margaritas in my garden that got your attention? hahahah  I bought this house because of that MANGO TREE.  I may one day be coming to India as my daughters Christian Dance School sponsors a Dance School in India.  They want more parents to come next time.  I will keep you in mind if you are near the town where they travelled last month. You can actually see the video on You Tube under PRISMA DANCE in India.  I saw photos of some very beautiful children!!! And seeing them dance for God made me cry in joy!  I want to see the famous TAJ MAHAL !!  

I wish everyone a great day, lots of fun polite guests ( like I have now from Sweden)  and as always.....thanks for reading.

[Jeet0]

@Momi0,

THANKS 🙂

That's great news, do try to visit, I keep travelling very frequently in India, so will definitely try to catch up. Plus, you know what, the mango season is about to start here, it's like a festival almost 😄

I watched parts of a couple of dance videos they are so elegant and lovely 🙂

Loved your property, I wish one day I have a house next to the beach too!

I'll get some sleep now. It was nice to talk to everybody and to learn something new today 🙂

[Momi0]

You @Jeet0 my new friend are welcomed anytime.....would love to feed you one of my Mango cheesecakes, or Mango muffins or drink a Mango margarita....( I can make it alcohol free too....mango juice.) hahaha @

Thank you for the lovely comments, the lovely attitude, the lovely invite to India.  So glad you saw the dancers.  I will forever be grateful for the friends I make in this community whether it be through my home or via this online community.

If I know you are coming, I will be sure to leave out my delicious Hawaiian Banana Chocolate chip Bread for you to enjoy in the middle of the night so you don't' come waking me up too...haha.  Dont' worry @Clare0 and @Maria-Lurdes0 can have some too..I always make 2-3 loaves.  🙂

[Jeet0]

Hello @Momi0 🙂

Advice completely taken. And maybe I was lucky that my host was very kind but no host in India will have any issue if you have some bread jam and a bowl of curd/custard without asking at 2 in the night. They'll definitely have an issue if you woke them at 2am 😄

(Please notice that I did suggest @Heather18 to charge the guests if she wishes.)

I never considered food to be such a big deal. We have places here which feed more that 100,000 people everyday for free. It's considered holy.

In India we believe in a teaching (and it is also the philosophy of the Indian Tourism Department), "Atithi Devo Bhava" which literaly translates to "The Guests are equivalent to God". Probably that is why I tend to be more forgiving with guests (and I'm definitely not tunring into a doormat by doing that). Sometimes I do wonder if it's time to tweak my beliefs since everything is getting so commertialized lately, but that's the essence of the warm Indian hospitality.

If you or @Clare0 or @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0 ever happen to visit India, I'd be more than glad to host you, and I am not saying it for the sake of it, but I'd really love to 🙂

Also, I make delicious alphonso mango mastani, you'd love it 🙂

[Liz132]

I totally agree with you, there is not such a thing like "they thought it was complemetary" or "left for them". you take what it has been offered other than that, it means you are disrespectful and rude someone with absolutly no manners whatsoever. Plain as that.

[Robin4]

@Liz132.....Possibly a bit off the thread Liz, but I feel I need to say it! You have good reviews so you will no doubt be a good host. Just a pity about your response to your last review. You should never get into a 'he said/she said' dialogue if a guest leaves you a less than flattering review!

A lot of guests (me included) will place far more importance on the way a host carries themselves in the review window than in the property pictures and description. We don't want to feel we will get criticised if we say or do something the host dissagees with!

If someone  says things that you may feel are a bit unfair....stay above it Liz! Just say something like..."I am indeed sorry 'this or that' was not what you had expected but I have taken your points on board, and as I am trying to be the best host I can, I value your comments, as I do everyones. Some things I can control and some I can't, but rest assured I will make sure your next visit will be more in line with your expectation and to your satisfaction" That will make you look an articulate, thoughtful and a really accommodating host, and the sort of person we would all like to stay with.

Getting into a 'slugging' match doesn't win you any 'brownie points' Liz. Very soon that unfair review will slip down the page and off the radar.....and the only thing that will attract attention to it is your response.

All the best for Christmas and beyond Liz.

Cheers....Rob

[Maryam-Al-Fakheer0]

@Clare0 @Jeet0  I am amazed and even shocked to read:  guest might think its complimentary?  or might think she made the brownies for them??   I am sorry, but not in a million years I would believe that.  What would be next:  guest might think you left them your perfumes? Is anything in your home left for guest to think you "might" left it for them?  No need to ask for anything... just take everything, because they "might" believe.....?    I find it utterly rude and disrespectful of people to TAKE anything what has not been offered to them. 

[Jeet0]

I completely understand your anger @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0, but it is not as unbelievable as you think it is. Like I mentioned, there do exist hundreds of hosts who regularly leave complimentary goodies for their guests, including myself. To finish a panful of brownies without asking could be rude but worse things happen, like theft, damage to property etc. My suggetsion is to keep keep valuable safely in a place that's inaccisible to the guests henceforth and also communicate well in advance what they can have and what they cannot in your house.

During one of my stays with an Airbnb host, I came back late after work and was quite tired and hungry, I found some bread, jam and custard in the fridge and had some as all the stores outside were closed and it was too late to wake my host up.

I informed her next day that I had eaten some from her fridge and loved the custard/pudding, she was kind enough to write down the recepie for me and also packed me some during my checkout to have during my journey. So yeah!

[Maryam-Al-Fakheer0]

@Jeet0 The keyword is that guest might ASSUME !   Well, in that case, guests can "assume" anything they like. There is just NO excuse for this kind of behavior. To my opinion they are just one of many "travellers"  who try to get the maximum (and beyond) out of everything for FREE.  

[Jeet0]

True, that is why comminication is the solution to all problems.

[Momi0]

Oh @Heather18, I am so sorry to hear this.  I have combated this very problem from ever happening again by letting my guests know at the check in process that any food offered to them will have a WELCOME NOTE attached to it so there is NO confusion on what is there in my home for them to enjoy.  I would be outraged if someone did that IN MY HOME. You absolutely have to say something to them and request that they pay for it..or they will think its ok to do this in other hosts home.  Do they walk by an open door at a hotel and walk in to eat other guests food too that is laid out on the bedroom counter?  holy crap! 

You should add this to your house rules.  Be very clear to your guests that anything left IN the kitchen is not theirs to eat.  And they should always ASK before "raiding" a kitchen.  I literally would end that reservation now if you do not get any monetary compensation back.  AND DEFINITELY CALL AIRBNB to report this if they dont' pay you back.  I wish I could read your rules but this is an issue I am having with my new Mac Air that I can't click on hosts profiles anymore, not sure why, but I can tell you that my RULES are very clear.  And I make every single guests write to me on my message board acknowledging they have read the rules and agree to them.  I have had no other problems since doing this. 

Here's some helpful tips....I often bake brownies for my daughters school fundraiser...and I charge .50 per brownie.  Cut that price in half, and charge them the cost of EACH brownie they polished off...then add the cost of driving back to the store to buy more brownie mix ...then add the cost of the GUMMY WORMS.....LOL....Or, you could always ask them to pick you up a bottle of wine to help you get over their absolute idiotness of a move and of course....make sure the wine is at least $12!!!   Food for thought......Im leaning towards the wine suggestion.  LOL

Please let us ALL know how it came out....we ALL love a good ending.  🙂

[Momi0]

Hey @Heather18,

this is too funny...you posted a comment about "unruly guests" 5 hours ago and since then, @Jeet0 @Maryam-Al-Fakheer0 @Clare0 and I have gone from that to eating brownies / gummy worms, to eating another hosts pudding, to damaged beds, to rude Americans, to apologies, to assumptions, to worshipping one god, to mango desserts, to visiting Taj Mahal, to who lives in Canada or California....(not sure what's coming next), but all I can say is thanks...I have really enjoyed getting to know ALL these amazing hosts from all over the world all because of YOU.....and your delicious brownies that I now have a MAJOR craving for......let me know if you are making more so I can "raid" your kitchen next...LOL

Hope everyone is laughing.........or at least smiling. 

[Maryam-Al-Fakheer0]

@Momi0, THANK YOU for all your messages, agreed or dis-agreed.  Sorry to read you take it very personal about GENERAL opinions about Amerian people. As for writing DUTCH in capitals,  I believe you have read on my profile I originate from The Netherlands, but hey... that still doesn't mean I am DUTCH !

Aloha to you.