Help! dealing with our first bad review

[Siggi-And-Carmel0]

Hi everyone, we have only been hosting 5 months and so far its been great with fantastic guests and good experiences. We had the first experience which has shook our confidence and now we need to know how to deal with a review which will be lying about the guests experiences with us.

We had a booking from a young woman (profile said she was from Canada but she was obviously a local when we met her). 2 days before check in she states there will be a work colleague coming with her. I thought it strange she didn't just change her booking, but I asked her to sort out the extra cost before checking out. Being new to this I wasn't sure of the usual protocols.

Day of arrival  they asked for an early check in due to bad weather, so  we cleaned our guest space in a hurry and went out of our way to make the two women very welcome. They wanted an early checkout on the Saturday morning and my husband even offered to get up before 7am and make them a hot cooked breakfast (because its the middle of winter here). The girls seemed very happy and impressed with her experience here and left.We were sure of a good review.

Later that day we realised she had not paid for her colleague and then when my husband was cleaning the rooms he found a rubbish bin full of used condoms . We felt really shocked about this as the guest suite is inside our family home, we live here with my 82 year old father and it would seem that our guests must have been letting strangers inside when we were asleep. Well - what other explanation could there be?  believe me, we have been trying to think of them!

Instead of making accusations or jumping to conclusions I wrote a polite message to the guest reminding her about the outstanding additional guest fee and also wondering that if they had any extra 'visitors' they would be kind enough to pay the extra $20 PP extra charge too. The guest became very angry and aggressive after that, asking for my evidence and what reason I had to think there were extra visitors? I then had to be blunt and say what we had found.

She called me and I was totally shocked at the way she over reacted and tried to deflect the whole thing back on us.

She admitted the rubbish bin had been totally empty when she arrived and that they must have appeared during the night, but she accused my 65 yr old husband of 'planting ' them there to frame her in some way (!!!??) and was highly offended and outraged by us even daring to suggest that she may something to do with it.

She then emailed me to say she would be requesting a refund from Airbnb because (actually )they just remembered that they had  had such a terrible night at our place , that we were having loud parties (yes us old and disabled hosts really love having raging parties just to annoy our younger guests) and that our home was really unsafe with strange men wondering around in the night (all the doors are locked with chains each evening and people can only get inside if someone lets them in).

I called Airbnb and they were very understanding about the situation, they have refused her refund due to lack of evidence, but they cant (or won't) remove her very bad review so we have 3 days left now before this appears on our listing. 

To review her or not?

If we don't review her, do we get a chance to reply to her review of us?

What could we write as a response?

Obviously we do not want to draw attention to the bad review but is it better to ignore or write something ?

Sorry for the long story but I still feel shaken and totally confused about why anyone would behave like that after we've worked so hard to get Superhost twice this year so far.

Many thanks for all advice !

[Kath9]

@Siggi-And-Carmel0, how very strange! First, yes, you should absolutely review based on your experience and no, you won't get a chance to respond if you don't review her. If she hasn't reviewed you yet, wait until the 11th hour to write your review in the hope that she won't leave one. If she does, and the review is negative, it's always best to leave a short, professional response. Wait until you see what she says and if you're not sure how to respond, get some advice here. Experienced hosts come up with some excellent suggestions.

For your review, I would say something like, 'xx booked for 1  but arrived with a second female guest for whom she has yet to pay. Additionally, we found strong evidence that male visitors had joined them during the night. Although x had seemed more than happy with her stay on check out, when we politely asked about the visitors, she became extremely aggressive and accused us of things that simply had not occurred. She has been refused a refund from Airbnb based on lack of evidence'. 

Mark her down on all categories (especially communication and house rules) and give her a thumbs down so she can't instant book with other hosts.

Please let us know how it turns out!

[Emilia42]

@Siggi-And-Carmel0, I would go with @Kath9 's review suggestion but leave out the part about Airbnb refusing a refund. This could be against their content policy when you bring in details about how Airbnb acted/responded. 

[Siggi-And-Carmel0]

Thanks, good point 🙂

[Siggi-And-Carmel0]

Thanks! that's fantastic advice. Yes, Airbnb support centre has told us that she has written a very bad review of us but we cant see it unless we write our own, and we have 3 days left before her review will go on our page anyway. Your wording is perfect as I didn't know the write thing to write - thanks again 🙂

[Jasmina17]

Hello Siggi and Carmel,

all the hosts have experienced similar situation at least once, and we all know how it feels.

My experience tells me that you should keep on insisting on deleting her entire feedback if she reviews you. Write your request in a message to the Support Centre.

I really feel compassionate with you and from my previous experience I can recommend the following:

1 Always communicate through AirBnb chat. There is no excuse for any guest to not use it, and written form is your best policy.

When they want to bring extra guests, you kindly ask them in a message: to put the correct number of the guests in their reservation, and if they cannot do that for some reason (they usually cannot) The Support Centre is always willing to assist them. If they answer they cannot reach the Support Centre (they often cannot) log in to your account on your computer and change the wrong information in their reservation. They will automatically receive altered reservation which they should accept. They always accept it before their arrival. If not: message the Support Centre as soon as possible.

2 AirBnb Support Centre is always there for you when you obey the company rules, and they extra care for Superhosts. This is really true. Sometimes they are slow, sometimes they lack in their staff, but they always solve the problems, and you should be persistent if you have done everything according to the rules.

3 Use the AirBnB app tools for protecting the hosts from such malicious persons, and next time you feel suspicious about anything, report them at once - it is confidential and there is even the option when a host suspects a competitor host sent someone to your place.

You can request the money for the extra guest using these tools as well.

4 Be positive because there will be many great experiences with polite and thankful guests in the future and you will forget these unpleasant situations.

Remember the lesson and always share it with other hosts helping in that way to keep the wonderful AirBnB community for people who care for it 🙂

Wish you a lot of luck!

[Kelly149]

I don’t think any host should ever be making “guesses” about problems. 

The rubbish could mean that one of them had male anatomy. It could mean they were making balloons. It could mean one was teaching the other how to use the devices. It could mean they let a stream of Johns thru the place. You don’t know!!!

what you do know is this:

they requested extras (early arrival, breakfast)

they left messy garbage

they didn’t pay for guest #2

they were grumpy and belligerent after their stay

so write a review that is only about what you actually, emphatically know. And get a door camera so that in the future you know what comes in & out of your house. Oh, and always collect payment immediately, rare is the guest who wants to pay extra. 

[Anonymous]

@Kelly149  Totally agree, except I wouldn't regard condoms as "messy garbage" if they were in the wastebasket. Anywhere else, that would be a problem...

[Kelly149]

@Anonymous as a host absolutely anyting that has come out from inside another human I do NOT want to see!!! (and I say that as the parent of 5 kids - I've seen my fair share of blood, guts, poop, vomit and whatnot)

I think it is general manners that as a guest in someone's home you should manage to control what you leave behind for your host. Yes, of course, they will need to clean up after you but they shouldn't know certain things about you. This is why my checkout instructions ask guests to take their trash out to the main outdoor bin. It's not difficult to empty the trash but I ask them to do it in order to preserve their privacy.

Nonetheless, here is a list of things that I have been "left" by guests:

GIGANTIC, full, adult diapers

a shower floor speckled with blown out snot

a mountainous pile of poopy toilet paper (not in the toilet!)

feminine hygiene products, used, not wrapped up

I've missed the used condom trash thusfar, but I think it falls into the category of 'sure, it's in the bin, but would it have killed you to bag that trash?'

[Anonymous]

@Kelly149  Ha! I guess I have different squeamishness triggers. I tie up the bin liners without rifling around inside, so thus far I've been blissfully unaware of people's contraception habits. But I'd take a mountain of used condoms over strands of hair that people with long hair can't help but innocently shed everywhere they go. 

I think about all the people that clean up behind us and our children and elders, and take our trash away everywhere we go, whose names and stories we never learn, whom we hardly spare a thought for until they don't show up, and it's hard to get too bent out of shape about having to tie up a bin liner.

[Kelly149]

@Anonymous ugh! I'd take a bullet before I'd rifle guest garbage, but yes, you're right, I was always of the mindset of 'leave a place better than you found it' but cleaning up after guests has made me even more mindful of what we leave behind for the cleaning staff at hotels!

[Siggi-And-Carmel0]

No need to rifle through their garbage (we have much better things to do!) they were not wrapped or hidden, just sitting on top of the rubbish bin 🙂

[Siggi-And-Carmel0]

Hi Kelly, 

We empty the guests trash ourselves, we have two rubbish bins upstairs (remember the guests are in our home) the outside garbage bin in in a private area of our home so we do not want the  guests going there at all. They just left them in the trash but not wrapped or hidden so very easy to see when we tipped it into the outside bin. Thanks 🙂

[Suzanne302]

@Kelly149 @Anonymous 

Things that have been inside other humans gross me out too which is why I don't look too hard in the trash can but....

My guests left the bathroom door open one day and my dog slipped in and came running out with a bloody tampon in his mouth! I thought I was going to throw up!

Thank goodness he knows the "drop it" command. LOL!

[Anonymous]

@Siggi-And-Carmel0  Try not to worry too much about the guest's review; you'll have an opportunity to write a response that appears alongside it, and also your own review of the guest can be cross-referenced. 

However, the question of what content to include in this review is as sticky and messy as the contents of that wastebasket.

The problem is, due to being a relatively new host you made a perfectly understandable mistake early on. and it tipped over the other dominoes that led to the phone confrontation. It's generally considered the host's responsibility to know the protocols and manage the booking details. So when the guest told you that she wanted to add a second person to the booking, the correct thing to do would have been to go to the guest's booking in Reservations, click Change or Cancel, add the second guest (plus the appropriate fee, if it doesn't automatically appear) and submit the change request to the guest for her approval. Entry to the property should have been conditional upon the second guest being paid before check-in. (The reverse of this action is also possible from the guest side, but the host is supposed to know better how the system works). You want all the money issues to be sorted at the beginning of the stay - not the end.

The condoms are a separate issue, which I would have also recommended handling differently. Undoubtedly, the simplest explanation is that at least one unapproved male visitor was in the property at some point (though I can think of other possibilities that aren't fit to print). But you're not in a good position to act on your suspicions if condoms were your only evidence. If no one in your home witnessed any extra people on your property, no extra cars in the driveway etc., you backed yourself into a corner in which you had to challenge the guest on the intimate contents of their rubbish. And right there, even if the real problem was the guest breaking your rules, you're the one who ends up looking bad.  It's never a good idea to mention anything genitalia-oriented to a guest under any circumstances.

So your review is going to be of a guest who behaved poorly, but as a result of the host's actions....and who might have broken a rule, but you can't definitively prove it. This is where vague seems the only way to go, something like:  "As a new host, these guests were a learning experience for me. They seemed happy throughout their stay and especially enjoyed the hot meals provided to them, but due to our troubling communication after check-out I would not choose to host again."