My first negative experience - Communication

[Michelle140]

This is my 9th guest coming tonight (it's 9:40pm), and it's the first time I've felt some dread. She's booked my room (not the whole house) for a lengthy 33 days, which is a long time to be stuck with a housemate you don't get along with. I don't think she knows what airbnb is supposed to be.

Her first message indicated that she preferred to be left alone unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire (literally said that). I tried to ask her this afternoon around when she expected to check-in and all she said was it could be anywhere from 6pm to 6am. I responded to keep me updated, as communication is a part of airbnb. I have not heard anything, and like I said, it's now almost 10pm, and I have ZERO clue what time she will be arriving.

I just don't feel right about the whole thing. Part of me just wants to get things started and if she wants zero interaction with me, then all the easier that money is to make, but at the same time, this is not why I started on airbnb.

I don't mind some (short term) guests being zero interaction, but I enjoy sharing stories and meeting people from all over, and over a month sharing my home with an enigma of a person doesn't sound like fun. Sigh. At this point, if nothing else, I think I'm going to write my first negative review =(

Is there any advice? I'm afraid to confront her, in fear of retaliation while I'm not at the house, but I'm not happy...

[Michelle140]

@Donna37, Welcome! Ha. I don't know if I would say "better". I don't really like confrontation in general and while I am honest in the meantime, I don't go too crazy until I get pushed over the edge (which apparently is turning my thermostat down to something ridiculous without talking with me, lol). I have definitely about doubled my house rules on my listing since she arrived, as there were so many things I didn't even think would come up. Ie, she's apparently so aversive to being in the same room as me, as I think she's been washing her dishes in the bathroom sink. A definite no no on a septic tank with no strainer in the bathroom =P Sigh... I revamped the rules list yesterday to hopefully make it not appear so overwhelming, as it was getting a bit ridiculous... I have a lot of plans for her review, and was thinking I should start drafting it out before I forget things, lol. While I plan on saying a lot more than just one sentence, you make a good point for an introductory summary statement...

[Robin4]

@Michelle140 Hey I have just had a thought, maybe she is a 'plant' there to test how far an Airbnb host can be pushed before cracking 🙂

Cheers.....Rob

[Michelle140]

So today I get a message from her "what is the brown colored liquid you left on the hallway floor directly outside my bathroom door? It appears to be fecal matter". I said it's probably cat puke, that I apologize, and will clean it up when I get home (and in my mind, I confirmed 'yes, I put it out in the hallway deliberately' =P ).

Anyway, Airbnb forced a confirmation on my request to change to end the reservation tomorrow. They had to do a conference call with her through my phone since her phone number isn't current anymore and she was not responding to online messages. I hope the exit goes without drama =( I will feel so much better afterwards I hope.

[Lyndsey2]

Ha! It's amazing you convinced your cat to do that for you... Or maybe your cat just shares your feelings about her. What does this girl think, you keep jars of "fecal matter" in your fridge to put outside your guests' bedrooms when you want them to leave?

[Michelle140]

"What does this girl think, you keep jars of "fecal matter" in your fridge to put outside your guests' bedrooms when you want them to leave?"

Isn't that a requirement for Airbnb hosts? 😉

[Lyndsey2]

I freeze my cat vomit in an ice cube tray. That way I always have just the right amount on hand when it's time to say goodbye to my guests. I got the idea from a Martha Stewart article.

[Michelle140]

Is this ok? I know it's way too long... =(

"For most hosts with a private room with shared living space, I would not recommend Jackie. She would be more suited for a hotel or an entire home/apartment, as she does not like to have any contact with the host. She avoided eye contact when passing through a room I was in and would not say anything to me. If she had it her way, she would always arrive when no one is home and be settled in her bedroom before anyone else came home. To go into some specifics, she could not tell me when she would be arriving the first night, and when I checked for an update after 10pm, she apparently had decided not to come that first night and was getting ready for bed, so basic consideration was lacking from the beginning. My required “check-in” procedure annoyed her as it was forced interaction, but was necessary in order to introduce her to my lock and security system. Other random strange things like running the bathroom sink constantly, washing her dishes in the bathroom instead of the kitchen, changing my house thermostat without discussing with me, stomping through the house and slamming things, talking to herself constantly, etc. Even her online communication often came across as rude or sarcastic. I ended up changing her reservation to end sooner than the original reservation because I was so uncomfortable. In the end, she paid for 18 nights and only stayed for eight of those nights. I didn’t even see her in person other than check-in for the first two weeks of her reservation. This was the strangest Airbnb hosting experience I have had so far… She inspired me to about double my house rules list during her stay and I also added a 14 day maximum to my listing the first night of her reservation. She would likely be a better fit with 100% hands-off hosts or places where she will have the whole place to herself."

[Dawn33]

Michelle, I would cut everything except the first and last sentence.

Any host would understand where you were going with the review.

[Michelle140]

@Dawn33, I wouldn't have, lol. My response would be "well, what did she do wrong?" Lol. But I like to give people the benefit of the doubt, so that wouldn't be enough information for me to know whether their behavior was something I was ok with or not. I want to keep at least some level of detail explaining what was wrong.

[Sandra126]

Any host asking that can just message the last host if they really want to know. You could link to the forum for an exhaustive reply!

''this guest warranted a record breaking thread on Airbnb forum''

[Michelle140]

@Sandra126, First of all, Airbnb makes it really difficult to message people just to ask questions. You have to inquire about a reservation, so I try to avoid that. Plus, I try to respond ASAP to people's inquiries. I don't want to have to send all sorts of messages and questions to a third party to make my decision. It should be simple - read the inquiry message, look at their reviews, maybe ask the guest a question or two if necessary, approve or deny. Done. 😃

[Dawn33]

And put your entire review above in the private notes to Airbnb at the end of the review.

[Michelle140]

I got it below 200 words, but I feel bad omitting details as to why it was more than just her being reclusive...

For most hosts with a private room with shared living space, I would not recommend Jackie. She would be more suited for a hotel or an entire home/apartment (or maybe 100% hands-off hosts), as she does not like to have any contact with anyone. She avoided eye contact when passing through a room I was in and would not say anything to me, but if she could help it she would avoid even this interaction. Basic consideration was lacking from the very beginning as she could not tell me when she would be arriving the first night, and when I checked for an update after 10pm, she apparently had decided not to come that first night without notifying me. My required check-in procedure annoyed her as it forced her to interact with me. Even her online communication often came across as rude or sarcastic. She ended up staying at the house fewer than half the nights she paid for. I didn’t even see her in person other than check-in for the first two weeks of her reservation. This was the strangest Airbnb hosting experience I have had so far. It was more than just reclusive behavior...

[Lyndsey2]

I would shorten just a little more... for example, I would remove the part about her online messages sounding sarcastic as that can be perceived as more opinion than fact. And I would get rid of the part about your check-in procedure annoying her. Just say she had difficulty with it, since you don't want to presume how she felt. But otherwise, I think that makes it very clear without making other hosts wonder what on earth happened. Good job handling this tricky situation. 

[Eileen4]

@Michelle140 She could be autistic, in which case interacting with anyone would actually stress her out a lot. I teach autistic young adults and had to learn how to meet them half-way with their needs and quirks. They are really great students, just different, with different needs. I've been reading most of this thread and given what you described, thought of autism very early on, but was hesitant to "diagnose" since I have chastised by some hosts on this forum for doing so on other occasions. I would lighten up a bit on your review. My guess is that there is something neurological going on and you are just not in the know right now.