When a returning guest goes bad...

[Laura2592]

We have a guest we have hosted a few times. He was always a little high maintenance but overall very nice and referred others to us. This trip really took the cake. He complained about a "mysterious substance" on an outdoor patio (tree sap),  locked himself out after going in and out several times claiming the key code "reset" when in reality he locked the doorknob which renders the keypad useless. We have that in our house rules and he has stayed multiple times with the same system. He also sent me very long messages about how a ceiling fan didn't work/ceiling fan light didn't work because he was using the wrong wall switch to turn it off and on. Just a daily list of things that were not right and were actually non-issues. 

The first time this person stayed with us he asked for a referral to get his oil changed so I knew he was a little quirky. After this last trip I am not sure I want to host him again. He has over a dozen glowingly positive reviews and no one seems to mention any of the nitpicky stuff that interrupts your dinner and causes unnecessary trips to see what the heck is going on at your space. 

Anyone have to end a relationship with a returning guest? How would you review this person? 

[Emiel1]

@Laura2592 

As there seems no damage, noise, cleanup issue, illigal visitors, illegal smoking, theft or other violance:

I guess a lot of hosts would be happy if this guest could be exchanged with the one they host at this very moment 

;>)

Best regards,

Emiel

[Sarah977]

@Laura2592 Wow, how odd that a guest who's stayed several times would suddenly have issues with things that he was able to figure out in the past. It almost sounds like he has some health-related mental issue going on, like Alzheimers, or even something like a brain tumor, that would make him act out-of-character. Or maybe he's on some medication that's making him confused.

I don't find it odd he'd ask for a recommendation of where to get his oil changed, though. It doesn't seem much different than asking for restaurant recommendations or anything else in an area a guest isn't familiar with.

I don't know what to suggest as far as reviewing or blocking from booking again. I'd almost be tempted to private message him and say I'm a bit concerned about him, as he had trouble with things at your place this last time that he didn't have any problems with before.

I guess it could just be a case of him starting to feel over-familiar with you and less reticent to complain. But these don't really seem like complaints that he expressed, rather than sudden and inexplicable confusion or inability to focus.

[Helen350]

Aspergers???

@Sarah977  @Laura2592 

[Sarah977]

@Helen350 Those with Aspergers for sure have a difficult time reading social cues or sometimes understanding what is appropriate, but in my experience they are quite competent with everyday stuff,  would almost compulsively read any instructions that had been left, have excellent memories, i.e., they wouldn't "forget" not to lock the door from inside once they were aware of why not to, and would actually shy away from contacting anyone rather than trying to figure something out for themselves.

But of course that's only anecdotal from the few people I know with that syndrome, I imagine it could greatly vary.

[Helen350]

.... True.....

[Laura2592]

@Sarah977 I think you hit the nail on the head... too much familiarity.  Hes not old enough to be in the dementia category and both he and his mate are guilty.  They were early guests so I think we were still learning how to weed out nitpickers. He started thing off wanting us to Google lots of information for his first stay. And we did. The requests have gotten more lengthy and specific over time.  We also made the mistake of offering discounts to returning guests early on. Now he wants one every time.  Our prices have increased significantly and we are booked pretty far in advance.  I get a lot of emails wanting to book certain dates a year or more into the future (we don't open our calendar that far as we hope to stop hosting and just enjoy it ourselves soon.) There are always asks for a "returning guest discount." No more of that.

During this last stay we got messages daily and had to go to the space twice  (hour round trip each time) for total non issues. He's always pleasant but its exhausting.  

We want our guests to feel at home but we have crossed the line with this last stay. He has a few properties he seems to visit repeatedly from reviews. I wonder if this is just his MO.

[Sarah977]

@Laura2592  Well, there is something called early onset dementia, which can happen to people who are quite young, but now as you explain the back story with the discounts he received before, it does sound like he's just being demanding because he feels he can now that he knows you a bit.  

Maybe it makes him feel important and catered to have you running over to attend to trivial non-issues. Like he's gonna get his money's worth now that there aren't discounts. Or maybe he's been reading posts on Facebook from guests who are entitled and demanding and decided he's been way too nice in the past 🙂

[Kelly149]

@Laura2592 Couple different choices:

1) smile until he’s gone, then all 1*, no I won’t host again. Report, block. & hope that does it. 

2) break out the syrup redirect. “Honey, are you feeling alright? You know how this lock works, it’s strange that you keep locking yourself out.” “Oh dear, you know this cabin in the woods means you’re going to find some tree sap” “Now John, we like you but I can’t keep driving over here to find a light switch for you.”

3) the Ute NO. “Thank you for your business in the past, we wish you well, but we will not be hosting you again in the future.”

[Jessica-and-Henry0]

@Laura2592 

If it were me, I'd go with #3 - the Ute NO. 

One by one they may be small issues...... but even the most minor issues can really start to add up. I think after a certain point...... you just have to draw a line and make it stop. The problem or issue being serious or minor or even a non-issue isn't relevant. Enough is enough.