Why are Superhosts so hard on other hosts (as guests?)

[Inna22]

Just got a four star (with threes in several sub categories) from a superhost turned guest for whom I actually have gone above and beyond! She fell in the alley about half a block from my house as I was at the house greeting her group. I stayed to help walk her in, made sure all the arrangements were made for her and then drove her crutches I had at my house at the expense of missing my son’s volleyball game. She found a way to blame me for her fall. Apparently it is because instructions to my garage were not clear (they are turn by turn and the garage is behind the house). I am not sure what the connection is but I guess as humans we need to have someone to blame. The crutches were not her size, the house was too hot (central air conditioner with two thermostats anyone?) and so on. She also “accidentally” took one of the throws that she will be mailing back. I am just grateful that she did not fall on my property. Why are hosts so demanding? Also, unlike many guests, they do know what they are doing when leaving less than five stars. They do know how it will reflect on the listing, search standing and booking rate

[Ann72]

@Lisa723 I'm with @Branka-and-Silvia0 in that I really don't like it but I always say thank you.  Someone just checked out with very polite private feedback on two items.  One I can fix, and the other is irrelevant for 97% of the guests.  Changing it to suit the 3% would take away from the 97%.  So I have to admit I was kind of annoyed because she didn't think of anyone's needs but her own, a syndrome that annoys me in all areas of life.

But the real reason I get annoyed, I think, is that I'm mad at myself for not making everything perfect.  🙂

[Lisa723]

@Ann72 @Branka-and-Silvia0 ... interesting. If a suggestion is ridiculous, my co-host and I have a good laugh over it. (We have queen beds, with no room for kings, but one guest suggested that bigger beds would have benefited her marriage.) If it's irrelevant or obviously wouldn't benefit many, we just ignore it. But we've gotten so many great suggestions that really have improved the places and resulted in subsequent positive feedback along the lines of "the hosts have thought of everything" that I'll never stop asking for them. Regardless,  I never take it personally... guests are customers, not friends, and as far as their stay experience goes, they are always right. But reading your opinions, in future I will ask hosts if they want any input before sending.

[Ann72]

@Lisa723 Definitely, especially in my early years, I sought feedback from guests and acted on it.  I was at one of the places last week thinking about how it was a bit seat-of-the-pants at the start, and now it's a well-oiled machine.  With many moving parts.

It's so rare that anyone has a comment other than "exceeded my expectations," and looking at @Inna22's listings I'm sure she rarely has complaints.  So annoyance is perfectly natural, and it's  the opposite of taking something personally.  The emotion you feel when you take something personally is called "hurt."  I'm annoyed in exactly the same way I'm annoyed by tourists in New York who stop dead in the middle of the sidewalk to look at their phones.  They're not thinking about anyone but themselves.

I think that when giving feedback, it's important to think hard about what to say.  If something was unacceptable, dirty, broken, or dangerous, absolutely point it out.  Two knives and forks for 4 people, 1 towel for three?  Say something.  But if something was just different than the way you as a host would do something, think twice.  

[Lisa723]

@Ann72 Of course as a guest I think carefully about what to say and how to say it and don't point out things that are just different. However, I have said things like, for example, "it would be handy to have someplace to put a suitcase other than the floor" or "a blind on the bathroom window would make it more private at night." These are not complaints. As a host, I want to know every single thing that a guest thinks could have made their stay better. I'll make note of those that make sense and are feasible, and just ignore those that don't. I guess what I meant is I have no feelings about private guest suggestions whatsoever. I just take them as data-- how can data be annoying? I don't have to like my guests. But in future I won't assume all hosts feel the same. 

[Sarah977]

@Lisa723  I think those types of comments are completely inoffensive and as you say, I'd just accept them as data. I've read posts here by hosts who didn't have curtains on the living room windows and assumed none were needed because the place was in the countryside and private. It seemingly never occured to them that a couple might want to spice up their love life by doing it in the living room or up against the kitchen counter and would feel exposed, even if there was no one out there but the sheep 🙂

[Ann72]

@Lisa723 Those are valid comments to make, absolutely.  I just don't understand why you keep making assumptions like "take things personally" and "I don't have to like my guests."  Those are leaps that are not supported by the data above.  None of us mentioned whether we liked the guest in question or not, because whether we liked them or not wasn't relevant.  I've never met more than two or three of my guests, so I have no idea whether I like them or not.

And yes, data can be annoying - I invite you to read the royalty statements from any major publisher.  There isn't a literary agent in New York (my day job) who doesn't find them annoying.  And they are nothing but data.

[Lisa723]

@Ann72 I just meant comments that might annoy me from a friend or family member (somebody I want to like and have to live with) do not annoy me coming from guests, who are no part of my personal life and I will likely never see again. I'm not insisting that you or anyone else should react differently.

[Ann72]

@Inna22 You have such beautiful listings that I would bet anything she is massively jealous and resentful.  And I love what @Sarah (sorry it won't tag) about the shocking number of Superhosts we've seen who can't seem to figure their way out of a paper bag.  

[Inna22]

@Ann72  thank you!  And when the next super host comes I will make sure To mess it up a bit so they are not jealous 🙂

[Ann72]

@Inna22 I laughed out loud!  Or you could show them around and apologize the whole time for being OCD and making everything perfect.  Sigh and say it's just a cross you have to bear and it's a terrible burden.  Then ask them to make sure they make themselves comfortable and leave as big a mess as they like because it will make you feel so much better.  :):):)

[Cathie19]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 

...... but I won’t complain... promise!

[Sarah977]

I had a very nice guest who is a seasoned Airbnber and aware of how reviews work. She left a nice, factual review and private messaged me to point out that there was cat hair on the outside chair cushions. I appreciated that she'd kept it private, and that she'd let me know, as I honestly hadn't noticed it- it's a stray cat who's decided she lives here and who I keep chasing away:-) But I made sure to vacuum those cushions before my next guests and thanked her for pointing it out and making it a private comment.

[Inna22]

@Sarah977  so this is precisely why I hope most guests understand that they should not judge their entire stay based on a hairy cushion.  I have now stayed in a few Airbnb‘s and you can tell a soon as you walk in if your host cares. I just stayed in one and laundry machine was filthy. I don’t even know how you can make the inside of the laundry machine dirty. I messaged him with pictures and he was shocked. He doesn’t live on site and says he had no idea and I believed him. Everything else in the house was clearly  well-maintained and his communication was great.  I left him five stars and did not bring it up In the review

[Ann72]

@Sarah977 @Inna22 Yes!  I had a similar experience recently as a guest, but nothing so terrible that I wanted to bring it up.  The beds were super comfortable and had beautiful linens, the kitchen was well equipped, and the somewhat tired sofa in the sitting room turned out to be the best napping sofa I've found in a long time.  So I didn't complain about the somewhat dingy carpeting.  Who really cares?

[Ute42]

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@Inna22 

"Why do superhosts leave bad reviews as a guest?"

Maybe they enjoy the power they have when being in the guests position once a year.