My first negative experience - Communication

[Michelle140]

This is my 9th guest coming tonight (it's 9:40pm), and it's the first time I've felt some dread. She's booked my room (not the whole house) for a lengthy 33 days, which is a long time to be stuck with a housemate you don't get along with. I don't think she knows what airbnb is supposed to be.

Her first message indicated that she preferred to be left alone unless someone is bleeding or the house is on fire (literally said that). I tried to ask her this afternoon around when she expected to check-in and all she said was it could be anywhere from 6pm to 6am. I responded to keep me updated, as communication is a part of airbnb. I have not heard anything, and like I said, it's now almost 10pm, and I have ZERO clue what time she will be arriving.

I just don't feel right about the whole thing. Part of me just wants to get things started and if she wants zero interaction with me, then all the easier that money is to make, but at the same time, this is not why I started on airbnb.

I don't mind some (short term) guests being zero interaction, but I enjoy sharing stories and meeting people from all over, and over a month sharing my home with an enigma of a person doesn't sound like fun. Sigh. At this point, if nothing else, I think I'm going to write my first negative review =(

Is there any advice? I'm afraid to confront her, in fear of retaliation while I'm not at the house, but I'm not happy...

[Melanie58]

I guess there are other people on here who are more experienced hosts than I am, and may be able to chime in.  I have my max stay set at 10 days.  It's not that I am opposed to having people stay longer, it's just the longest I am willing to book someone sight unseen at my place.  I can live with some crazy for 10 days, but not 30.

To put it in perspective, my job has me managing several rentals.  We don't just rent to anyone who wants to rent because our homes are valuable.  Damages can be incredibly expensive sure, but the emotional stress of dealing with difficult people is something you can't really put a price on.  People come, fill out an application, we contact their references, verify their employment, etc etc.  The whole application process is the most difficult part of the whole thing - they probably won't hear from us until they want to move out after that application process, but we meet people in person and vet them before putting them in a home and it usually takes us a week to do that.

I had someone stay with me two nights through Airbnb, and later mention they needed a place to stay for three months.  I had the chance to meet them, to "interview" them in a sense, and so I am thankful that I had the opportunity because of Airbnb to meet this guest.  But I do not really feel comfortable using Airbnb for any guest staying longer than 30 days.  So, I drew up a three month lease, it has all of the terms in it to which we have both agreed and signed, and I know all of the terms of my lease so I feel comfortable enforcing them - I don't have to call a third party for permission to evict someone from my own house, in other words.  Now my Airbnb calendar is blocked during their stay, so I can go back to Airbnb when their rental is done, but if things go wrong, I don't have to have Airbnb involved.  

You mentioned changing your max stay, I think that could be a good choice potentially.  You could give people the opportunity to extend their stay after they get to your max maybe.  Also, I used to live in Charlottesville and one of the favorite people I worked with was from around Louisa.  It's a nice place!  

[Michelle140]

Melanie, thanks for your further input 😃 I am still very new to airbnb. I have updated my max stay to 14 days. This was definitely a mistake, and it still has me very much concerned, but it doesn't look like there is much I can do about it at this point. I did message her back to let her know that she must check in during my posted check-in hours and that I will need to meet her. And then requested that she keep me posted on her amended plans (now that she's missed her first check-in day).

I'm actually down near Hadensville, right off 64. Mailing addresses here are strange and have me as Louisa even though I'm a good 20+ minutes from there and live in Goochland County 😉

[Sam65]

So... What happened?! I am on the edge of my seat!

[Michelle140]

Sam, nothing has happened yet, lol. I messaged her asking for an update and she responds "Update on???...I am watching TV about to go to bed. It's been a long day. I just went to wash some things cause the person I was staying with before had cats and they smelled downright awful." Which has me further concerned, because I have three cats and a dog, lol. Why did she book my place? Lack of other options? Lol. So she is not coming tonight. I will have to wait for the morning to come to hopefully find out what her amended plans are (I messaged clarifying check-in rules and asking for her to let me know what her amended plans are) =P

[Susan-And-Dov0]

Michelle, we are all waiting to hear what happened...please keep up updated!

You have my sympathies. I've had many guests and a couple of minor issues, but nothing like this! At least you got a free night, but stick to your guns on that one...she'll probably realize this later and demand a partial refund!

[Andrea9]

@Michelle140

What a strange person...

For her stay, make sure that any exchange you have verbally with her that could be a basis for you to want to involve Airbnb have her re-located for rudeness or not following house rules is reiterated on the message thread. Airbnb has access to this when necessary in cases in which it's necessary to get a better understanding of the situation.

Do not let her walk over her. Being a hermit does not mean being mean, rude, or beligerent. If she is any of that contact Airbnb as soon as possible (you do have them on speed dial I hope) and explain the situation. Doing that, even if no steps are decided to be taken will be on record for them. Then just keep on  confirming any new issues with her on the thread. "Just to reiterate again our conversation this afternoon: blablabla for ex. my listing says clearly that I have pets and it will not be an option to keep them outside for the reason that you do not wish to encounter them in the hallway blablabla."

Re. Instant book - if you are unhappy with it - there are a couple of postings on Host voice on the forum on having this changed. Airbnb screens this, so please  scroll through and give your thumbs up to those posts to let your voice be heard.

[Andrea9]

@Michelle140

BTW,  I'm sure all of us hosts chirping in to give you tips and moral support are really wantint to know how it all went off (I know I am!) because it helps us in turn handle situations better and also help other hosts facing a similar problem on this forum.

Please do let us know how your experience with this guest continued!

[Sandra126]

I will also wait to see how it all went, you have a lot of hosts following the event!

For future reference, just thought I would tell you what I write in my check in message. In 8 years of doing this, every single guest tells me when to expect them, and most arrive within 10-15 mins of their stated time.

''You can check in any time from 2pm, just let me know when to expect you and I will be there to show you around. If it is hard to predict this early, just let me know on the day.''

Most guests say straight away ''around 3pm'' or whatever, then text me if they are running late. They are pretty keen for me to actually be there!

All the best with this one.

[Robin4]

@Sandra126 Yeah Sandra....maybe guests are more courteous in this country but, I have never had an issue with check-in. The day before their arrival I always send them a message...."Hi Jane and Richard, just a quick message to say the cottage is ready, the fridge is stocked and we look forward to your arrival. Just send me a text to give an indication of your arrival time so I can be on hand. We have this custom of having a cheese plate and the odd glass of wine around five in the afternoon and we would love you to join us".

Now Sandra, making that last statement is not just gratuitious, it pins them down! It gives them an event to strive for....an invitation they would like to accept....unless they hate cheese, and don't drink wine!!! Or it requires them to decline if they have other plans. Either way it always guarantees me of an arrival response......

And I tell you what.....they never arrive empty handed and many a time we have had a beautiful evening with people we didn't know 12 hours before! Cheers.....Rob

[Ana7]

@Michelle140 hello from the other part of the world, I just want to give moral support! I'm sorry you have to deal with such a rude guest (it IS absolutely rude not to be precise about your arrival to someone's home!). Please keep us posted about the situation!

[Michelle140]

Well, it is after 8am on the east coast of the US and I have not received any messages from her. Nearly all of her previous messages have come between 6am and 715am, so I know she gets up early. One thing that gave me the heebie jeebies last night was her response to my request for an update as though she were acting like she were at the rental, starting with "Update on???..." But knowing our past conversation, I'm sure she was at home and decided not to come to my place that evening (I'm pretty sure, ha). She seems to act as though this is an anonymous 24/7 rental situation where she doesn't have to see me at all and doesn't have to tell me anything. I might involve airbnb soon (added their number to my phone last night, ha). Without her communicating reliably, I am very anxious about thinking she could just show up at my house at any moment, whether I'm home or away from the house. And me not knowing this person, not knowing how she will react when she realizes she can't get in. Her other reviews seem to imply that she's a fine guest, just keeps to herself and doesn't interact, but you never know. I like to think the best of people, generally trust more than I should, and haven't had much of an issue with airbnb guests yet (and have overall very much enjoyed my involvement in the community), BUT I do live out in the country alone, so security is a serious concern when I find cause for concern.

[Michelle140]

I opened up a problem in the resolution center since Airbnb says any problems from the host or guest must be reported within 24 hours of check-in, so I didn't want any problems there...

[Jude7]

That was a great, pro-active action, @Michelle140, to open up the issue within 24 hours of check-in.  One I'm going to file away in my "what to do if" category, for the reasons you stated.

Two thumbs up!

BTW - heads up - I've been having an issue regarding a review not posting that I've been working on with Airbnb support through Twitter.  Not great support, but at least I've been reaching someone each time, and it has taken about two hours to get a response.

just wanted to pass that along on the chance you need to get someone involve, but to keep that two hour response time in mind, on the chance that you need an urgent reply.

Having never tweeted before, I was a bit anxious about using this system, but once I created an account, searched for and followed Airbnbhelp, an icon called "Message" was easy to find, and that began a thread of private discussion that's easy to track, as the thread is all in one place, like text messages. 

Also - I had always thought that tweets needed to be short. There appears no limit to what you can share in a private message.  Also - to save time, do provide the email address associated with your Airbnb account, as they will need this information to give you personal support.

Hope you don't need to use it!

Jude

[Andrea9]

@Michelle140 @Jude7

I hadn't known about the possibility of opening an issue right after check in either. Good to know!

[Robin4]

@Michelle140 Hi there Michelle.....Well, like a lot of others I am waiting with baited breath to see what happens....My God, it's like 'The Young and the Restless'!!!!

On a more serious note Michelle, as a previous post said, the stranger the communication before hand, the stranger the guest will turn out to be. If I were in your situation I would immediately inform the guest through your Airbnb message stream that they are not discussing accommodation options with a hotel reception desk. You are accepting this guest into your home on the basis that they accept your communication and house rules and that you require immediate confirmation from them that they will accept and abide by that! If the guest takes offence and chooses to cancel, then it could be a blessing in disguise for you. 

Eccentric and strange guests have been discussed numerous times on this forum and Michelle, they never turn out to be like a fine wine....they do not improve over time, so I would start to think of yourself and the standard you require of your guest rather than pander to their eccentricities....cheers.....Rob