Narcissist Detection Supposedly in Airbnb AI - Review Time

[Michelle1588]

Greetings community, 

Last week I left a long post about a guest who went into a rage on me after a few instances of rejecting his requests to break some of my rules and guidelines. 

You can read more about it here: 

https://community.withairbnb.com/t5/Host-Circle/Superhost-Suspended-w-Retaliation-Claim-By-Guest/m-p...

Thank you to everyone who helped out with answers. 

Oddly enough, after making several complaints to Airbnb support reps about not being able to leave a review, 2 days later the option to leave a review for this guest was granted. Now that I have an opportunity to leave a review I am asking for help writing it so I don't come off as mean or unprofessional. How could I make this review well enough to warn other hosts, and strong enough to deter Mr. Doctor from doing it again. 

Here's a quick outline of how things went with this guest: 

1) Guest is charming, cordial, tidy and communicative. 

2) Guest checked in 3 hours earlier than we agreed on. He called my phone to ask me for another code because he claimed he could not get in with the code I gave him. He acts surprised when I bring the time he is checking in to his attention. He knew that I was not home and would not be there until a few days later. I issued him another code to get in. (note: when I got home I did enter the first code I gave him and it worked. I never mention this to him. I didn't take it personal. I figured he just made a mistake. I would change all codes later anyway, which I did do since that second code I had to give him in my absence was my master door code.) 

3) During a pleasant conversation about casual things in the kitchen almost 3 weeks into his stay he asks can his girlfriend spend the weekend over. Caught off guard from the angle the guest injected this request into the conversation I said, "uh, well, no. I don't allow additional guests but I will check to see if I can add her for those 2 days since I will be out over the weekend anyway." He offered a certain amount of cash outside of the platform app. I did not agree or disagree. I told him I'd get back to him.

RED FLAG: He caught me off guard with a request that goes against my guidelines - and put me in a position where I had to say NO during a smooth casual conversation flow - one where we were getting along and agreeable - I recognize this disruption in a conversation as a typical narcissistic tactic which is meant to throw the target off balance, and can usually make them agree to something they normally wouldn't agree to. I've studied this and know it very well, but still, I didn't catch on completely yet to what I was dealing with .... I am fully disarmed in my home, which was a huge mistake. I learned a lot with this guest.

4) I arranged a way for his girlfriend to stay but it had to be through the Airbnb App. He got upset, rejected the offer in the application - and his attitude changed for the duration of his stay. He walked around with a dark, unfriendly energy afterward.

5) I asked him if he could move his fruit container to something smaller and offered the packaging. He flipped out, threatened me and so on. I asked him to leave after that. I called Airbnb.

6) He had a trick up his sleeve and turned the complaint around to tell them I had cameras & he didn't know it. A complete lie. They gave him about $500 back for the days he wouldn't be here. 

7) Once he left, I spent hours on the phone with Airbnb support. Afterward, I checked his room and he took my house keys with him. Devious. I have to make a claim once I get all receipts within 14 days to try to get Airbnb to pay for my locks to be changed. 

How should I write this review. He hasn't written one yet and may think I won't either out of fear of his review. But I am going to write a review. I care about sharing the truth more than my Superhost status, now that I realize that status means nothing really. 

Side note: I did some research and found out Airbnb might be using some kind of algorithm or other form of AI to detect narcissistic guests before they can book - since 2020. Clearly it hasn't worked because this guy managed to book at my place. I thought you would find this article interesting. It appears that Airbnb is filtering through social media accounts to assess the personalities of its guests / members or whatever we want to call it. Hilarious & kinda creepy, too.  But this is proof that they are aware of the problem this kind of disorder can bring into the experience, which is a good thing. Psychos and narcs are dangerous. I study them since I grew up in a home oppressed by them. Thank God for my studies and my primary work they no longer have any grips or holds on me - but they do cross my path at times, like this guest. Ugh. parasitic, demeaning, mean, arrogant, entitled, egotistical.... you name it. Those are very difficult character traits to host & I just will not do it. There's not enough money on the planet....

https://futurism.com/the-byte/airbnb-ai-predict-psychopaths

Thanks for any help writing this review. 

Michelle (my recent guest is a sweetheart. She's totally making up for the horror I just went through 🙂

[Michelle1588]

Thanks Jennifer 🙂 There's no way I would use the word narcissist in a review lol... though I am trying to find another way to express the negative experience this turned out to be, which is why I'm here asking for a written example. I should have specifically added "please give me a written example of how you'd review this person / reservation."  This wasn't an ordinary bad experience. It was a bit more sinister than that.... I would skip the review if it was just one of those things... but it wasn't - and he took my keys on his way out to cause more stress and harm. 

[Huma0 · Accepted solution]

@Michelle1588 

I would take that article with a massive pinch of salt. It's just sensationalist tabloid journalism. Yes, Airbnb uses AI, which tries to spot problematic guests, but that is primarily to spot guests who are trying to exchange contact details prior to booking in order to book online and avoid paying Airbnb's fees.

Secondarily, it looks for people who might be planning to throw a party, but it's so unsophisticated that it frequently gets that wrong, e.g. it looks for local people under 25 trying to book a whole property. It does not consider if that property is a studio flat where you can't really throw much of a party or a young person booking a month long stay for themselves and their parents!

I remember having the Airbnb AI flag up a problem with a guest message and rightly so. This was a guest trying once again to book with me after I had turned her away (due to a bad review/terrible communication skills) by creating a new profile and pretending to be someone else. I contacted Airbnb about it and was told to block and report her, which I did. However, not only were both her profiles allowed to stay on the platform, allowing her to book with unsuspecting hosts with the new profile, but both profiles showed as verified by Airbnb. How?

Believe me, the Airbnb AI is not that sophisticated. Leaving honest reviews is the best way forward. 

[Michelle1588]

You're right about that AI. And yes, I will leave an honest review - and hopefully one that is not at risk of being taken down. Thanks Huma0 🙂

[Don3465]

And will you reveal the review that you posted for the guest in question?  I cannot sleep until I see the "ending".

[Michelle1588]

@Don3465  Hahaha, Greetings Don. I too, was unable to sleep waiting for the ending of my own decision..... which in the end (reluctantly) my higher, less offended self, decided to let it fly. 

I waited and anticipated his next move because this is a guy who was vindictive enough to also walk out with my keys.... but I never received a notification letting me know he had left a review. Not that I was basing my decision to leave a review on whether or not he left one, but I was surely wondering if he would try it. He didn't.

And before I knew it many days had passed. This kind of confirmed to me that this may be something he's done before and in the back of his mind he figured, "she won't leave a review because she knows I will afterward and risk taking down her superhost status.."

But I didn't mind losing my status. It's just that with time I decided not to lend him anymore power in my mind or in my hosting business. I regret that I am unable to share with other hosts on this forum, the name of this account holder - but if its any consolation, he was from a far away place, holding an account that has no reviews & is nearly 7 years old, and probably won't be using the platform any time soon.

Hopefully, this doesn't happen to anyone else, by him at least. That's the best I can do. I released him, hoping to never see him or host his type again. I learned from my mistakes and have updated my listing description as a result. I removed instant book temporarily, and I will be more committed to doing my due diligence in the messenger before saying "YES!"

For entertainment purposes only, here is the final review edit I had ready to go - but never published it: 

"Aside from checking in hours earlier than we agreed upon, (Guest-X) displayed a charming, friendly, & charismatic personality. As a host who generally does not leave less than positive reviews, and one who also goes above & beyond to ensure the space is clean, aesthetically pleasant & comfortable for guests who choose to share it with me, I regret having to write this one. Over several instances (Guest-X) began to show disrespect & contempt toward the guidelines, occupancy rules, sharing of common spaces, and boundaries associated with our home sharing agreement. In addition to not honoring the agreement,  he then displayed aggressive behavior consisting of a high temperament & strong disagreeableness. I was relieved upon cancelling this reservation and departing ways, but further disappointed when I realized he had also left with our apartment keys. So in all honesty, I am unable to recommend (Guest-X) as an ideal guest."

I also paid to change my locks and master door codes out of pocket. I couldn't tolerate another 2 hour pressure cooking, delirious phone call with Airbnb's disappointing CS just to file a claim for $300. 

The End. 

[Don3465]

Fortunately, there are more positives than negatives in this business.  We are the customer service agent.  We make the decisions that our paid CS agents are not permitted to make.  

Yet another experience to add to our record and learn from. 

[Fred13]

Reviews/letters that are written but not send are oftentimes the most rewarding, if anything they serve to add closure to many situations without bad consequences.

[Gillian166]

@Michelle1588 

Having also had some unfortunate experiences with a narcissist I would say there is little to zero chance an AI can detect or defeat a narcissist. They are generally quite brilliant at what they do, and rarely lose. 

Although he hurt your business you should be glad he is out of your life, because if he took an interest in continuing to torment you, he would do so until HE got bored of it. Glad you got those locks changed!