The coded language of a review

[Laura2592]

I struggle with reviews. I try to be as honest as possible without being unkind. I have noticed that there are a lot of 5 stars out there for guests I would not have given 5 stars to. Digging deeper, there seems to be some common themes and coded language to warn other hosts that there might be issues belying the 5 stars. No one wants to come right out and say that this person was painful to deal with.

For example a recent guest emailed me 20 times or more per day of his stay with questions about very pedantic things. The sink made a gurgling noise. A light bulb in a decorative lamp went out. One remote only has one battery. He counted the light switches and can't figure out what one does. We addressed all of these concerns but it didn't stop until my husband took over communication. He responded immediately to that and the masses of emails halted. On his reviews this guest is described as "extremely communicative." When I write mine, I  would like to add that he "responded well to my husband" and that he may do better with an onsite host (we aren't.) 

Another guest had expectations for kitchenware we could not meet. He let us know our brand new Amazon delivered set was no match for what he expected. His reviews when I looked (too late, he was an early guest and I was still learning) said things like "this guest has a very high standard" and "this guest described himself as a chef and enjoys a restaurant style kitchen." Likewise one guest was very upset we didn't provide a lemon zester in our normal kitchenware (we had to go get one, she was having a literal melt down.)  Nothing in her reviews addressed that specifically but did say "XX has some quirks about what she needs during her stay. Best to communicate with her beforehand."

Another couple booked our place and brought in other overnight guests without paying. She sent us pics of the families standing on our porch. Her ratings from other hosts (all in our area) said things like "this guest likes to visit with family in the area." Or "so and so visited our place to be closer to her family in the area." I would have appreciated a "so and so had her family stay with her." It was obvious when we sent her the charges afterwards for the number of guests that she had done this before.

What have you said about guests in reviews that you meant as a warning to other hosts? Have you come right out with it or somewhat coded your responses?

[Mark116]

@Sean433   Exactly. And what if you weren't the same religion?  Then, you would have no defense, it would be her accusation and your denial, and we can guess how that would turn out for the host.  

[Sandra856]

@Sean433 I'm really sorry you got this situation hanging over your head. I hope everything will work out for you! I don't know what you could have done differently? Do you want guests like that woman in your home. 

[Sean433]

@Sandra856 

Thank you for the support. What I could have done differently was not being honest with her for the reason I declined her and said something generic like not available. I stupidly told her that I was not comfortable based on a previous review she left a host. It seems she never had a host decline her before and not being used to being said "no" to, she lashed out and assumed the most negative of things.

From now on, I will never be specific for any of my explanations and just be generic. I now understand why hotel responses to reviews sound robotic. Too much liability in this crazy world we live in.

[Sandra856]

@Sean433 You have done absolutely nothing wrong. You have every right to decline a guest if she got bad reviews. I can't imagine airbnb disagreeing. But if a guest raises a claim about discrimination airbnb has to act. What could they do, but ask both parts? 

[Mark116]

@Sandra856   The thing about discrimination is that it almost always involves a subjective determination, it is very rarely something that is super obvious.  I would actually prefer if airbnb was more diligent with objective issues that do not require looking into someone's heart and intent, and since they are often unable to correctly resolve these black and white issues of XX smoked in the house or broke the sofa or brought in an extra 5 people, it gives me no reason to believe they can fairly judge something that is much more subtle and requires sensitivity and good judgment.

[Sandra856]

@Mark116 If @Sean433 wrote that he declined the request because of the guest's reviews I can't imagine that airbnb won't accept that. It is a fair reason to decline. And it has absolutely nothing to do with discrimination. But airbnb has to act on a claim like that and I assume that it might be what is happening? @Sean433 Has the guest any other reason or prove to think that you discriminated other than you declined because of bad reviews? 

[Sean433]

@Sandra856 @Mark116 

1. It was not a review she received as a guest. It was a review she left for one of her hosts that made me feel that she is a problematic guest. Having seen myself in that poor host, I decided I don't want to host a difficult guest and declined.

2. At first her reply was that she was confused why I declined her because of the bad review she left. Then 2 hours later, she said to me that when I had looked at her previous hosts, some of her previous stays were in Israel and that my decline screamed of anti antisemitism. I explained to her how disappointed I was of her to accuse me of this especially since I am of the same religion. She did not believe me but I don't really care since I never discriminate about any guest of any religion regardless if their religion is the same as mine or not. I simply don't care. I even told her which institution I belong to show to her that I was not discriminating but she chose not to believe me because it is easier to believe something you have conjured up in your head to justify why a host may not want to host a difficult guest.

3. It is not possible to verify someones religion on airbnb based on which countries they visited. Israel has visitors of all religions and nobody can assume someones religion based on which countries they visit.

4. Airbnb should investigate such claims however my point was not whether they should or should not. My point about this whole review topic is that IF a guest chooses to make your life difficult, they can easily do so.  If you give them the ammo to do this, some will. This is a great example of it. Hence, I have learned to stay under the radar and be generic going forward.

I think Mark understands because it seems something similar may have happened based on the way I read his comments. Unfortunately, other hosts will only understand this issue when it happens to them. I'd rather other hosts who read this not to learn the hard way and follow my advice but to each their own. 

[Sandra856]

@Sean433 Do you know what. I actually think I do the same as you somehow - stay under the radar. I have learned through the whole hosting journey that you cannot expect guests to be respectful, fair etc. What I do is to consider almost everything I can to avoid bad reviews, disrespectful guests. That is also why I usually don't leave a review if I'm uncertain if a guest leaves 5 star ratings. Exactly like @Mark116. But I do always leave reviews for the bad guests. Always last minute reviews unless they did leave a review first. The thing with leaving the explanation has really helped though - I feel less uncomfortable with the review system.

I hope everything will work out for you tomorrow - it must. In Europe or at least in Northen Europe the whole discrimination thing is not a big issue and there is in general a big trust when it comes to "the system" - so maybe I'm just completely naive 🙂 

[Mark116]

@Sandra856   We stopped reviewing everyone because 1) it is annoying to give someone a positive 5 star review and find out they can't be bothered to do the same, so you've sent a message to other hosts 'here is a great guest' even though they don't bother to review, so all the host's work was for nothing; 2) sometimes your review will trigger the 'never 5ers' to leave you that 4 star review that they think is a good review.

[Sandra856]

@Mark116 I can sure understand why you don't leave a review for a guest if they don't review you and if you have no reason to warn future hosts about a horrible guest. What I'm talking about is leaving bad reviews. 

[Mark116]

@Sandra856  I would leave a review for a really, really bad guest to warn other hosts, but for people who are more messy/less responsive, etc. I don't review them unless they review me, and even with this strategy, we've still gotten a much higher volume of 4 star reviews this summer, and most of those from people who one way or the other either broke something in the house or failed to follow the rules/directions.  It's hard to win.  I may go back to leaning into the 5 star review a little more, and explaining to all the guests that 4 stars is damaging.

[Sandra856]

@Mark116 It is so annoying with those 4 star reviews. I didn't know what to do about it so I decided to explain how the system works on my listing a couple of month ago so guests could read it before they book. It has really helped a lot.

I think, that if a guest wants to write a bad review there is nothing we can do about it. We can do our jobs being the best hosts possible - but those annoying, disrespectful guests will arrive at our doors sometimes. I had a young - just married couple leaving a couple of days ago. They wore shoes indoor - consequently left the shared bathroom in a gross state every day. But the worst thing was that they left my wooden floor full of red berry juice spots all over. They just couldn't care less. 

When they arrived I gave them a bottle of good wine and a little wedding present. 

The woman who booked had 4 nice reviews but the star rating were in all categories less than 5 stars. So all of those hosts left great reviews except for the star ratings. Just great! 😉

I don't think they will leave me a review but I'm sure gonna leave a review on the last day. 

[Dale-and-Maggie0]

"so I decided to explain how the system works on my listing a couple of month ago so guests could read it before they book"

I just checked out your listing & I could not find this explanation. Were is it located in you listing?

[Susan1028]

@Sean433 Unfortunately other hosts can only "see the stars" if they "instant book"...which doesn't work for me and a number of other hosts.

I've also become creative with declines, and I do check previous reviews and how they review other hosts...if there are any.

I even had one guest I declined try to book by creating a new profile with a male name 20 minutes later...which didn't work because the second profile pic was the other half of her original profile pic with her boyfriend...with the same text of the original request cut and pasted.  I did call airbnb to report it and they saw that it was the same person.  I was told they were going to remove both profiles, but I have no way of knowing.

PS-  The airbnb guest blacklist FB page is fascinating...

[Greg-And-Bird0]

"The airbnb guest blacklist FB page is fascinating..."

Could you post a link to that Susan?