The straw that broke the camel's back

[Huma0]

So, this is a really small, trivial thing, but it drove me absolutely CRAZY today. I have a guest who has terrible communication (doesn't respond to ANY messages, ignored all check in instructions, refuses to listen to any logic about basic stuff) and keeps breaking numerous house rules, albeit the minor ones. She does some really weird, completely nonsensical stuff. She has the attention span of a gnat. Bare in mind, I host long term guests, so when things are not going swimmingly, it can build up to a load of frustration... So, yes, I am kind of just venting.

I am middle aged and so, in recent years, my eyesight has started to falter. Due to this, I bought a magnifying mirror. This suddenly disappeared. I am not talking about a small handheld mirror, but quite a substantial thing. A large, table top mirror that has a specific place. Today was my brother's 50th birthday party, yet I was unable to put on make up etc. because my mirror was gone. Just gone. 

Okay, seriously annoying (why do guests take other people's things without asking?) but not the worst thing in the world. Maybe I am feeling so irritated about this because it is about the 20th annoying thing this guest has done. She doesn't seem to see the need to close the fridge door, so my very expensive fridge had a a breakdown. She said my washing machine made her clothes stink, but turns out she washed her clothes and left them in a heap in her room rather than hanging them up. and on and on...Deep breath....

So, yeah, all small things. But how many small things before the camel's back breaks?

[Huma0]

@Ted307 

By the way, how are your listing renovations going, or have you received any bookings in the meantime that have meant you have needed to put them off for a while?

[Ted307]

@Huma0 

We installed 2 small, energy efficient window AC units and did some touch-up paint, and re-activated our ABNB listing last month. We have only gotten bookings for our regular traveling nurse and one other new guest couple from Air. This next weekend coming up we'll have our second guest from VRBO. We get even less info from them about who is booking than we get from AirBnB so I can not say we are happy with them.

[Huma0]

@Ted307 

Worrying that you get even less info from VRBO. It's not like we get a lot from Airbnb!

I am glad at least you have a couple of new bookings.

I only got one since the Summer Release. The rest of the bookings have also been repeat guests. I've also had a couple of other former guests contact me but unfortunately for dates that aren't available. I feel like I will soon have to rely almost entirely on repeat guests for future bookings, but that won't be enough.

Glad to hear you have made some progress on the renovations though.

[Huma0]

Oh no! Now I feel like a total **, because it turns out this guest did not take the mirror. It was the other one who was away for the weekend!

That'll teach me to make assumptions about people...

To be fair, I had good reasons to think it was the guest I posted about:

1. The other guest does not use that bathroom. She has her own private bathroom closer to her room and has no reason to go upstairs to use the other one. I guess she specifically went there to borrow the mirror.

2. She was away for the weekend, so it didn't even seem possible that she had taken it, but it turns out she took it to do her hair right before she left (even though there are mirrors in all the guest bedrooms) and forgot to put it back.

3. The guest I blamed has been breaking house rules and doing odd stuff since she arrived. Everything else I have mentioned about her is actually accurate and a much longer list than what I've mentioned above. She's just a bit all over the place, so when I asked her if she had taken the mirror, and she eventually responded, she said "Maybe... I could have... I'll have a look..."

Still. I was WRONG. I should have known better as both of these girls have been breaking house rules but the one who actually took the mirror less so, and at least responds to messages. 

Maybe I am getting a bit of host fatigue. I've had some great guests lately, but very recently, I seem to be getting the rule breakers again. It seems to go in cycles. It's like London buses. None come for ages and then two or three come at once.

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[Ted307]

LOL I love it! @Huma0 you are far more patient than I am, it sounds like when my daughters were teenagers. Boy, am I ever glad that is over with! I would have had to cancel a Resolution request -- I am so glad we only have the one, separate bunkhouse we rent to these guests!

Maybe you need a new house rule about an extra fee due when the host is so aggravated  by the pile-on of these rule violations! Call it the "Your host needs a glass of wine and you're buying" fee for Fridays! 😉

It is so funny that you tell on yourself to us, it makes me believe people are good. Most people are, even your air head guests, probably.

[Huma0]

@Ted307 

Well, I think one should admit one's mistakes. When we were naughty, my father used to do that old school thing of making us stand in the corner until we were read to apologise. I learnt very quickly that it was far easier to say sorry than to stare at that corner for what felt like forever. My brother, on the other hand, was stubborn as a mule (still is) and damned if he was going to apologise, so would stand there until my parents caved...

[Gillian166]

@Huma0 

"maybe, i could have" haha, is better than "i don't know who did it, but it wasn't me" which was a common phrase with my teens.  

you've still got your sense of humour intact so i'd say you're doing fine. 

[Huma0]

@Ted307 

I like your idea of the Friday wine fee. I think they would need to buy me a bottle, not a glass, though! 

@Ted307 @Gillian166 

I don't have kids of my own but I do have a teenage niece. She only recently turned 13. I often think that she is better behaved and more 'together' than a lot of my guests, but then I don't live with her, so who knows. She does tend to misplace things a lot though, which I guess is probably common of kids these days because they have so much stuff.

These young ladies are not babies. One is 24 (the one who took the mirror - still waiting for her to put it back) and 30 (the one I suspected). I think back to myself at 30, or even 24, and I am sure I was not like that. I don't think I ever 'borrowed' people's things without asking.

However, I had a housemate who is still a good friend who kept taking my stuff (make up, make up brushes etc.) without asking, and would even take them with her when she went away. It was starting to drive me crazy. Another friend asked if the housemate had sisters and I replied, yes, she has two. Apparently, this is completely normal for sisters. They just help themselves to each other's stuff and don't care if they get shouted at. I have two older brothers, no sisters, so maybe that's why all of this seems so alien to me.

[Ted307]

@Huma0 

I used to live in a mobile home park, for over 55 only, and we had a Friday get-together for women only. Called, "Women who Wine", and we aired out our gripes with management, men, getting old, kids telling us what to do, and whatever! Cheap group therapy while having a glass of your favorite -- Bring your own wine.

[Huma0]

@Ted307 

Sounds like an excellent idea. That's something that I do miss from the days when I used to work in an office, in PR, which is a very female dominated industry. My colleagues and I would always finish the week off at the wine bar below our office and have a good old moan about the male bosses and whatever else was bothering us and then move on to cheerier subjects! Now I am freelance and work with a team that is very international, so I rarely get to see my colleagues in person.

Of course, I still meet up with friends, but it's not the same thing as having a good chin wag with people who are in the same boat as you. My friends like to hear whatever new outrageous hosting story I have up my sleeve, but I try not to bore them with the day-to-day challenges. I should probably find a local group of hosts that meets up, but there definitely needs to be wine involved!

[Ted307]

@Huma0 

We really loved the English Pubs when we went to the UK! But, I prefer a nice glass of wine, the beer is too warm!

Always good to vent with the ones in the same boat with you. Covid shut down the WWW in my old neighborhood, but they are starting up and I was considering inviting myself except so many moved in the last 2 years. Still have 2-3 friends there who might go with me. But, they are unlikely to want to hear about hosting our place!

[Huma0]

@Ted307 

I am not a fan of the warm beer either, but you know you can order a glass of wine in the pub instead. If it's a decent pub, the wine might even be nice + chilled. My local has a great wine list!

[Ted307]

@Huma0 

Exactly what I did, but Ted wanted beer and was sad! But he likes cider and it is chilled. We learned to love Blackthrone Cider, not very available here sadly.

[Gillian166]

@Huma0  they are babies. I've often said that a 30yo millenial is like a 25yo genX, and no doubt my Boomer parents thought I was immature at 25 because I wasn't married with 2 kids by then! 

Things that make you grow up: firstly the biggest is move out of home.  The worst guests are those who don't know how to look after themselves and a property. 

[Huma0]

@Gillian166 

I suspect you are right. I do remember my mother starting to nag me about marriage from when I was about 24. I thought she was nuts!

I moved out of home when I was 18 because I was desperate to be independent. I didn't go to university until much later. I just worked, saved, travelled (a lot of it solo). I can't imagine a lot of my my guests who are years older than that being able to cope at all in some of the environments I travelled in. Then again, I have hosted kids in their late teens who were much more mature than a lot of the 30-year-olds.

It may be in part a generational thing, but I suspect it's more to do with upbringing and, like you said, when they move out of home and how independent they are when they do. I had a 23-year-old housemate who never did laundry. She just took it home whenever she visited her parents. Her mother even made her bed for her when she came round!