I also had a lady leave a stain, on a brand new $200 duvet cover. She made is seem like no big deal, and told me it was “woman troubles”, as if this somehow exonerated her from all accountability. What really makes me mad is that she promised to leave a good review, because I was out of running water, and told her I needed to cancel, but she insisted on wanting to stay anyways. So she agreed she wouldn’t give me a bad rating because of the water. She was one of the most annoying demanding guests I’ve ever had, all over the place. I offered to bring her water, she said “no thanks” then said in her review she wasn’t offer any water, and ignored her messages. She kept messaging me asking to light a fire in the fireplace that didn’t have proper draw or ventilation, and had filled the entire suite with black smoke the last time a guest tried it. I told her I was sorry, but no. Then she gave me a bad review, and in the private message wrote, “well, as you can see, I held up my part of the bargain. I didn’t leave you a bad review.” I was like, “yes you did, after explicitly promising not to as a condition of your staying. You used all the beds, dirtied all the linens, and stained a brand new duvet, and I dont have the water to wash it! I have to take this all the the laundromat. You didn’t even try to be the least bit sensitive to that. And I asked you if I could bring you water and u refused, and instead obsessed over having a fire.” I was just completely flabbergasted.
It’s the people that ask for nothing that give good ratings, because they have integrity. Its the ones who seem to be gifted with getting host to agree to or allow one stupid request or exception after another that are going to complain no matter what. If they try to nickel and dime you left and right, or make some lame case for deserving a discount(“We’re arriving so late, and leaving so early, we’re practically not even staying!), they are the ones who will leave trash everywhere and stain your carpets and sheets, thank you over and over all bubbly and happy, and then leave a bad rating. Then there’s the ones who take everything that’s not nailed down. If it’s a perishable item, like little bags of chips, sugar packets, stirrers, shower cap; they’re taking it. And they always check even the most out of reach cupboards, just to see what’s in there. In my case, having my laundry machine be accessible from their suite, they will themselves to linens. They will literally grab a load of laundry with my undies to get what they want, sometimes even partially folding my undies. These ones will leave 4 out of 5 stars, just to screw you out of superhost status. And then write you a message about how they would like to stay on a weekly basis for the next few months. Then there’s the loud ass people in their 20s, who try to sneak like 4 extra guests, and ask you for beer or to bake their pizza in your oven for them. You don’t see any plates and napkins,
so you feel oddly pressure to provide them. For some reason, there’s nothing more demeaning to me than delivering a fresh baked frozen pizza to a bunch a 20 year olds, like you’re a soccer mom or something. And when you bring it to them, they don’t offer to take it, they’re on their phone and like “Thanks brah!”, so you awkwardly scan the room looking for somewhere to set it while several girls who didn’t pay to be there stare at you in silence. They will leave 4 out of 5 stars, and dock points for something vague like “Description” and then write “I don’t know, like, it just wasn’t what I thought”. Then there’s the passive aggressive couple guests who won’t tell you their ETA, or respond to your messages, until you basically stop cause you figure they just want to be left alone. They always manage to stealthily check themselves in, and then when you ask if everything’s ok, they reply “we’re fine, thanks. 🙂 Just heading to bed, have to leave early. Is it cool if we light the bonfire in the backyard?” You try to explain that it would take hours of supervision and there’s actually a drought and you’re not even sure of its legally allowed to have a fire, and you don’t have enough water to put it out should it get out of hand. They’ll argue with you until relentlessly, until you give in, and agree to light the bonfire you’d been slowly building and perfecting for months, saving it for a special event. And you’re lighting it for one guy who’s getting ready to go to bed. You write to him that you’re all ready, armed with a stem lighter and starter fluid and have the hose out and primed. Then they respond “Thanks, we’re actually pretty tired, we’re going to bed. Does your water heater always make this much noise or?” And you’ve never had a single noise complaint before or since. These types will leave the longest most passive-aggressive review ever, as if they’d been there for a week, and not 8 hours. It will seem nice, but is basically saying they were disappointed over and over again but they’re such chill guests, and we’re able to take it all in stride. It will be a 3 out of 5 star rating if your lucky, and look something like this: “Great place! Awesome quiet spot nestled in the woods! Would have been nicer to be closer to the city. Matthew was very accommodating! I would recommend this place to anyone who doesn’t mind a lot of noise at night, but nothing earplugs won’t solve! Would have been nice to have a pool table or jacuzzi or anything really! There’s an awesome bonfire out back, we didn’t know about it until it was too late, so just be sure to ask Matthew in advance and he’ll light it for you! Would be awesome to have s’mores offered to guests too. Matthew was also very communicative, except for a few times when we actually really needed something. One of the stepping stones is loose too, my wife almost fell and seriously reinjured her back, she recently recovered after 30 years of severe pain, but it’s fine if you like a little danger and adventure!” And then their private message is, “Thanks Matthew! We had to leave at 7am cause of the noise, we went and slept in the car and then got lost, so we’re going to miss our flight! But awesome place, thanks for having us! I left a few suggestions for you in my review! We’ll definitely be back!”
